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Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

  • Female
  • Thetford Center, VT
  • United States
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Vintage56(barb)'s Friends

  • Dan
  • LauraR
  • diacon
  • Pathfinder
  • Mrs. M.
  • Nieta
  • Ted'sRed
  • Don
  • DieselHD1970 (Brian)
  • KellyC
  • Donutmom4x
  • Snow (Jan)
  • Melanda
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vintage56(barb)'s Discussions

Plans for the holidays

Started this discussion. Last reply by SweetMelissa2007 Oct 25, 2017. 12 Replies

As Frank and I did the "snowbird" thing for 30 years, we were never around family for the holidays. Now I am staying in the frozen north year round and am within driving distance of most of my…Continue

After almost 2 years, little things can still set me off

Started this discussion. Last reply by vintage56(barb) Oct 26, 2016. 9 Replies

looking through FB, someone had a post about their husband getting a knee operation. Just seeing a picture of an older man in a hospital gown with IV started the tears flowing. Does it ever end....Continue

How to feel old

Started this discussion. Last reply by Callie2 Jun 19, 2016. 1 Reply

#1 - Drive to local Social Security office to complete application for widows benefits (turning 60 soon).#2 - Drive past a bunch of young people doing THIS on the way.…Continue

trying to arrange a family memorial service.

Started this discussion. Last reply by widow85 Jul 29, 2015. 11 Replies

We were snowbirds, living in New England in the summer and down south in the winter. My only family is my sister and her husband, who live up here. Frank has 4 grown kids with GKs. Two live up here,…Continue


vintage56(barb)'s Page

Latest Activity

vintage56(barb) replied to Soaring Spirits's discussion When did you remove your wedding rings?
"so happy for you!!"
vintage56(barb) replied to InsideLove's discussion How was your valentine's day like no other? Here's mine.
"I started the day by re-reading some of the little home made cards and poems we used to send to each other, as I do on most holidays. For the first time in 3 years, it did not set me into a crying jag (I had planned it pre-shower, thinking it…"
vintage56(barb) replied to Dianne in Nevada's discussion For those who do not want to date ...
"My boss where I volunteer is my age and divorced. She signed up for Match and had a date set up - when he didn't show, she got worried - turned out he got arrested!! (driving on meds). A story for the books!! So I though I would look at Match…"
Feb 9
vintage56(barb) replied to Christlacroix's discussion LOVE AGAIN
"Glad you found someone, Mark."
Feb 8
vintage56(barb) replied to Doug02122014's discussion What to do with spouses personal effects and when?
"well after 3 years I thought it was time to donate a sweatshirt of Frank's that I have been wearing around the house . It has a little stain, so I couldn't donate to a thrift store. But the cold-weather shelter is having a warm clothing…"
Feb 2
vintage56(barb) replied to Rainy (Misty)'s discussion Let's Grumble
"We used to have popcorn many Sunday afternoons watching sports. He always said, You make the best popcorn, like I had a secret recipe for it!!"
Jan 27
vintage56(barb) replied to Rainy (Misty)'s discussion Let's Grumble
"My Frank would cook his own food sometimes and I would cook mine. I would make enough so I could have leftovers. After he ate his food, he would ask to "try" mine and would wind up finishing what I had made (I was a MUCH better cook than…"
Jan 26
vintage56(barb) commented on adoption1964 (Kim)'s blog post Missing my Best Friend Today
"(((hugs))) I think anyone who has dealt with illness will always question the decisions that were made. We were snowbirds and after the first round of chemo at a great NCI-center hospital, he was determined to go south for the winter like we always…"
Jan 25
vintage56(barb) replied to Rainy (Misty)'s discussion Let's Grumble
"Frank was thrifty to a fault on most things. He could squeeze a nickel until the Indian rode the buffalo. But now I am reaping the benefits of those years of frugality, I just wish he were here to enjoy it with me.  He was also a TERRIBLE…"
Jan 17
vintage56(barb) replied to Soaring Spirits's discussion JANUARY Anniversaries, Birthdays and Other Special Days
"Today it is 3 years. I had a fragmented night's sleep last night, lots of bad dreams."
Jan 16
vintage56(barb) replied to Rainy (Misty)'s discussion Unfinished plans and a watchdog.
"Rainy, you should talk to Don, he went to NOLA by himself."
Jan 15
vintage56(barb) replied to Rainy (Misty)'s discussion Practical Questions as a NEW WIDOW
"I thought about getting AAA but I have roadside assistance through my car insurance (Geico). Frank and I always did the financials together so I knew as much as he did.  My big problem was a few weeks after he died, I needed to buy another car.…"
Jan 12
vintage56(barb) replied to JK (OK)'s discussion Tired of recieving mail in spouses name? Heres the number to opt out.
"About the only mail I get for Frank is from the Salvation Army, I donated to them and his name was on the check. I don't mind getting the occasional mail, after 3 years. No credit card offers though, that would tick me off."
Jan 12
vintage56(barb) replied to Doug02122014's discussion What to do with spouses personal effects and when?
"really nice result though!!"
Jan 9
vintage56(barb) replied to Soaring Spirits's discussion JANUARY Anniversaries, Birthdays and Other Special Days
"I find that as the date of his death approaches, I am thinking of things and places from that time 3 years ago, almost involuntarily. Like the long drive to the medical center where he was being treated."
Jan 8
vintage56(barb) replied to Soaring Spirits's discussion Let's Get Acquainted
"what was the present you were displaying? Beautiful picture, brought tears to my eyes."
Jan 1

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Comment Wall (3 comments)

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At 1:33pm on January 3, 2017, diacon said…

Thank you. I don't know what wanting to be my friend means - but thank you for wanting to be my friend!  I appreciate your understanding and acknowledgement of the differences among lonely, alone and lonesomeness.  When I was in a grief group shortly after my spouse died, I collected things that people (albeit well meaning) said and sent them on to  the facilitator.  She (thankfully) is using them.  They are similar to something I saw on this site.  In many ways I would like to move on and in many ways I really don't want to.  Anyone relate?  Thanks.  

At 12:44pm on January 28, 2016, Ted'sRed said…

Thank you for the comment and the friend request, Barb.  I couldn't agree more.  My profile picture was my husband's favorite one of us because it captures the essence of our love (well, at least mine for him - LOL - but it was very much mutual).

At 10:48pm on February 6, 2015, eliana said…

Welcome to Widville, vintage56. I am truly sorry for your loss, and hope you find caring support and friendship here.

Here's the best place to start: Need help using the site? Ask here!  You can join the Groups that fit you to connect to others with similar experiences. Share your story. Take a look at our Forum discussions where you'll find meaningful conversations taking place. I look forward to getting to know you here in Widville. Take care of yourself.


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