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We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

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  • Thetford Center, VT
  • United States
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vintage56(barb)'s Discussions

the little things

Started this discussion. Last reply by soulmate Jul 29. 16 Replies

I have been thinking about the silly little things, inside jokes and sayings we used to share. Like if someone passed us on the road in a big hurry, Frank would say "He must have a promise". Or after…Continue

Plans for the holidays

Started this discussion. Last reply by SweetMelissa2007 Oct 25, 2017. 12 Replies

As Frank and I did the "snowbird" thing for 30 years, we were never around family for the holidays. Now I am staying in the frozen north year round and am within driving distance of most of my…Continue

After almost 2 years, little things can still set me off

Started this discussion. Last reply by vintage56(barb) Oct 26, 2016. 9 Replies

looking through FB, someone had a post about their husband getting a knee operation. Just seeing a picture of an older man in a hospital gown with IV started the tears flowing. Does it ever end....Continue

How to feel old

Started this discussion. Last reply by Callie2 Jun 19, 2016. 1 Reply

#1 - Drive to local Social Security office to complete application for widows benefits (turning 60 soon).#2 - Drive past a bunch of young people doing THIS on the way.…Continue


vintage56(barb)'s Page

Latest Activity

vintage56(barb) replied to Soaring Spirits's discussion Introduce yourselves, please!
"Hi Ronda, welcome and (((hugs))). You need to be strong for YOU too. You need to take care of yourself. We are here when you need to talk."
Dec 7
vintage56(barb) replied to Blithe's discussion 6 month grief burst
"you are having a "perfect storm" of grief-inducing events. Any one of these would be bad enough. I hope when you get back to your family and their support, things will be a little better. In the mean time we are here to chat when you need…"
Dec 4
vintage56(barb) replied to Soaring Spirits's discussion Introduce yourselves, please!
"Welcome Lon."
Nov 22
vintage56(barb) replied to J in Florida's discussion Health insurance coverage for surviving spouse
"If you have assets but low income, you will qualify for great savings on ACA insurance. I pay about $75 a month for great coverage and the feds and state pick up the rest. If I had to pay the whole thing it would be almost $500 a month."
Nov 20
vintage56(barb) replied to Lostandlonely's discussion Holidays
"This will be my 4th year.  Second completely alone. First two winters, I was down south with snowbird friends. I just try to muddle through and not think about it too much. Are you going to be alone? Do you have someone to be with, and does…"
Nov 18
vintage56(barb) replied to Maggie's discussion Snowbird Home
"We used to snowbird but always rented a condo, never owned. In fact he passed away down there (AL). I went down a couple of years by myself but finally gave it up and stayed up north all last winter. I didn't like the 3 day drive by myself and…"
Oct 25
vintage56(barb) commented on jlsrdh's blog post 2 months
"I was like you after Frank died. I no longer wanted to cook or bake like I did for him. I lived off Lean Cuisine. I went to a psychic fair about 5 months after he died and the psychic told me, out of the blue, "You aren't cooking or baking…"
Oct 24
vintage56(barb) commented on MidnightBear (Tony)'s blog post Not So Subtle Reminders
"I doubt people even take note of the day my DH passed. It has been 3.5 years and his whole side of the family treats me like a thing of the past. Which I guess I am."
Oct 24
vintage56(barb) commented on Miss Em (Emma)'s blog post Birthdays
"I went through my birthday in August. People say Happy Birthday but how can it be happy, when the person who made it special for me, is no longer here? They just don't get it."
Oct 12
vintage56(barb) replied to Lost's discussion Lost
"yes, here you are not alone. We have all been through it and still go through it. Listen to yourself and don't get caught up in the "shoulds" -- I should be doing this or that. You will know when the time is right, and in the…"
Oct 10
vintage56(barb) replied to Soaring Spirits's discussion What is the most insensitive thing someone has said to you about your loss?
"I think it would be OK to shut down anyone who starts with a "Who had it worse?" by saying, "It's impossible to compare two people's pain and grief, let's not even go there.""
Sep 11
vintage56(barb) commented on Dianne in Nevada's blog post I fell for a scammer ....
"Dianne,you listened to your gut and it steered you right. At least you did not lose any money. I have been contacted by several through FB but they were pretty easy to spot. I would be suspect of ANY man who claims to be military, retired military…"
Sep 9
vintage56(barb) commented on MidnightBear (Tony)'s blog post Socks! Really?
"Athena, I know what you mean. Frank kept falling and scraping his knees, even falling on a carpet would result in a bloody mess. So I had a large ziploc bag with oversize bandages, tape, etc, that I couldn't get rid of for many many months. I…"
Aug 22
vintage56(barb) replied to Rainy (Misty)'s discussion Poems, songs and sayings...
"now that made me cry."
Aug 13
vintage56(barb) commented on MidnightBear (Tony)'s blog post Finding Random Treasure
"Tony, if she was hand quilting the Snoopy quilt, I would be happy to finish it for you, no charge."
Aug 10
vintage56(barb) commented on MidnightBear (Tony)'s blog post The Missing Look
"my story is a little different, we were both very frugal. After he passed, it took me some time to get used to spending money on things we wouldn't have bought before. But it seems whenever I did, Frank would signal his approval by dropping me…"
Aug 10

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Comment Wall (4 comments)

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At 8:16am on August 2, 2018, Rainy (Misty) said…

Barb,  I just wanted to say Happy Birthday!!!  I hope you'll be able to go out (or stay in) and have the best day possible!  You are so special and today is your day!!!  

At 1:33pm on January 3, 2017, diacon said…

Thank you. I don't know what wanting to be my friend means - but thank you for wanting to be my friend!  I appreciate your understanding and acknowledgement of the differences among lonely, alone and lonesomeness.  When I was in a grief group shortly after my spouse died, I collected things that people (albeit well meaning) said and sent them on to  the facilitator.  She (thankfully) is using them.  They are similar to something I saw on this site.  In many ways I would like to move on and in many ways I really don't want to.  Anyone relate?  Thanks.  

At 12:44pm on January 28, 2016, Ted'sRed said…

Thank you for the comment and the friend request, Barb.  I couldn't agree more.  My profile picture was my husband's favorite one of us because it captures the essence of our love (well, at least mine for him - LOL - but it was very much mutual).

At 10:48pm on February 6, 2015, eliana said…

Welcome to Widville, vintage56. I am truly sorry for your loss, and hope you find caring support and friendship here.

Here's the best place to start: Need help using the site? Ask here!  You can join the Groups that fit you to connect to others with similar experiences. Share your story. Take a look at our Forum discussions where you'll find meaningful conversations taking place. I look forward to getting to know you here in Widville. Take care of yourself.


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