This site is run by widowed people, for widowed people

Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

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  • Yorba Linda, CA
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Wannabmartha's Friends

  • KC81
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  • AZBlueLady
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  • dougn52
  • Mporras
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Wannabmartha's Blog

The "Mean Season"

Posted on March 24, 2013 at 6:04pm 1 Comment


I’ve named it………’s the “mean season”. …



Posted on July 26, 2012 at 8:28pm 7 Comments

I swam laps in the pool early this evening.........hard laps. Angry laps, then sad laps. It all ended in tears. At least I got some exercise!

Lately, days with Patrick's children end in tears because I'm really sad and angry that he's missing them. He's missing the delight that I'm experiencing with his children. It's getting to me. Patrick couldn't believe that he was having a girl and today, with Reese, all I could think of is Patrick laughing while her and I paint each others…


Father's Day

Posted on June 12, 2012 at 8:47pm 4 Comments

My heart is breaking as I realize that Father's Day looms! 

My "Dear Ole Dad" is recently gone and my husband's death still reveals 

an emptiness that hurts deeply. 

Then comes the realization of the loss of my oldest…


The Circle of Life

Posted on May 20, 2012 at 5:57pm 5 Comments

I take things in much deeper now that I've experienced the loss of my husband and son. My joys are so much greater but my suffering seems more excruciating. My heart bleeds for others like never before and the pain that others are going through touches me deeply. I guess that's the way God intended it.

My third grandchild was born at the end of April and what a marvel it was to experience her coming into the world. She's absolutely beautiful (if I do say so myself!) and her…


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At 6:09pm on January 7, 2017, KC81 said…

Thank you Wannabmartha for the kind welcome.  Everything is still raw and I'm just emerging from the haze and numbness of the initial shock..
Today had been a slightly better day and I'll take it.  I'm still in Survival mode 2 months in and some days it's so difficult. 

Can you point me to how to set up with a pen-pal  with a fellow young widower?  I'm 35 years old, with a 4 month old baby.  Thank you so much in advance!

At 4:53pm on December 10, 2016, dougn52 said…

Thanks for the welcome.  I'm sorry for your loss.  It's been almost three years for me and  I am constantly amazed how we all share such similar, feelings, reactions, fears, etc.   It does help to know I am not different.

At 6:12pm on October 4, 2016, JustLola said…

Thanks so much for the warm welcome. I can't believe I'm here but so glad I found it. I'm so sorry for your loss! I can't imagine what that's been like for you.

I'm six months in - March 28 - and the shock and pain of it knocks me over the head sometimes. Friends have been truly amazing and supportive, coming when I call and even when I don't. Still, most haven't been through this and I'm looking forward to connecting with people who have.

At 10:34pm on September 18, 2016, Edrienne Calugay said…
Thank you
At 8:39am on September 6, 2016, Mporras said…

Hi wannabmartha, God bless you for the word of encouragement...Thank you so much

At 5:42am on August 18, 2016, Snowy58 said…

Thank you for the friend request, my heart breaks for you and your loss. I'm newly widowed but I don't think you ever get beyond the heartbreak, I'm glad to hear this site has helped you, I'm hoping for the same. My husband passed away the end of May, he had cancer and we thought it was beat but it came back with a vengeance and he was gone in less then 3 months, right up to the day before he left me, he thought he was coming home and when he realized it wouldn't be he got so angry.  He didn't want to leave me and we both cried at the loss of our life. It's a tough transition, but all I can do is take it one day at a time. 

At 4:06pm on June 29, 2016, Saggit Spirit said…

Hi and thanks for writing... I am so sorry for your tragic loss.  I became a widow recently (April 22).  My husband and I were married for 35 years.   During the last several years of his life he suffered from alzheimer's  disease.  It was quite a challenge for him because he was so active mentally when he practiced law.

What has been so comforting to me is that I have a very strong spiritual connection with him now.  So I am learning to be with him in a different way.  We did not have any children and both of us came from small families closest relative is my younger sister and that is about it.  

I think that this community will offer a wealth of support, connection to something larger than myself and a source of learning.


At 5:55pm on May 31, 2016, Soriana said…

Thank you for welcoming me. I'm very sorry for your loss of both your husband and son. :-( My husband died in late August of last year at age 54 after a 10+ year battle with diabetes. He wasn't managing it well, and had begun to have some serious health issues (heart attack & quadruple bypass surgery at 48). Still, the end was sudden with little warning, and now it's just me and my sons who are now 18 and 19. I have a strong faith in God as did my husband, and that has what has gotten me through. Missing him so much, and there's so many challenges to this new life without him, I don't feel like I 'belong' anywhere anymore. Very glad I found this little community where others understand!

At 9:02am on May 31, 2016, tonedeaf said…
Hi thank you for saying welcome. My husband passed away in 2015 after a two year battle with Cancer. His father passed away six months before him. Basically it is me and my daughter, son and his family left behind. It's been eight months and I'm still taking life hour by hour. I'm not mad at God I am way mad at Cancer and can't get past it... I will write more later hoping I find friends on here to help get through the waves and silence some of the thunder. Sorry you lost two loved ones at the same time. Once I went to a support group and we questioned if losing someone instantly or over a period of time which was worse.... I feel there is no answer for that....
At 1:46pm on April 25, 2016, itsjustde said…

Thank you for your welcome message. My husband Steve just died on April 2, and I'm happy to have found this community. It is indeed a community no one would want to be a part of, but it's so helpful to know there's others going through similar thoughts, feelings, and experiences. 


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