This site is run by widowed people, for widowed people

Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

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  • Arlington, VA
  • United States
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Widow85's Friends

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widow85's Discussions

Polling our loyal readers -- best place to retire?

Started this discussion. Last reply by Patience (Diane) Jan 26. 1 Reply

Any tips on retirement locations? I'm not there yet, and I could just stay where I am (Gee, why not live in one of the most expensive areas in the ENTIRE country?!) but it's good to plan ahead.I like…Continue

Veterans Day Greetings! (to U.S. Widville friends)

Started this discussion. Last reply by david1980 Nov 11, 2015. 3 Replies

Just a note of thanks and remembrance for all our vets, both widowed and on the site, AND our significant others who served and are not with us anymore. Would love to hear your memories of service.As…Continue

Tax Time Sucks!

Started this discussion. Last reply by kln82 Oct 19, 2014. 5 Replies

Have just about finished my (extended deadline) income tax filing for 2013. I now realize why I had put it off so long, even though I'm a CPA and should know better. It was almost unbearable. I had…Continue

Need advice WNers, so overwhelming to plan a second memorial event

Started this discussion. Last reply by widow85 Mar 31, 2014. 1 Reply

The girls and I are planning to scatter my husband's ashes in the ocean off Long Beach, NY, where in his younger days he worked at his grandfather's deli. We thought this would be a good time to get…Continue


widow85's Page

Latest Activity

widow85 replied to Sissy's discussion How Do You Live As Half of a Person...
"More like a single person who has been ripped in half and is all raw edges . . . Been about 3 1/2 years and my brain is finally re-engaging. I have not much recollection of year 1 and year 2 was just a painful slog. I have started doing some…"
May 8
widow85 replied to Imogen's discussion Stupid People
"Oh lordy, "I wish my husband was dead" just takes the cake. My weirdest comment was from a co-worker on the elevator one day, "I probably should have sent you a condolence card, but I just don't deal well with death.""
May 3
widow85 replied to Jill's discussion What's scaring you these days?
"Such an interesting discussion. I was  in the Fuzzy camp -- for about two years after my husband died (I'm now 3 years, 4 months out) I feared nothing except if something were to happen to our grown daughters. I wasn't…"
Apr 24
widow85 replied to ashleynicole8378's discussion Need some advice please?
"Wow, there is a lot of wisdom in these postings. I just had a huge crowd, family and friends, over for Passover. (Card tables in the living room, somebody got the wonky chair, etc.) My late husband was Jewish, I was raised Catholic so we basically…"
Apr 19
widow85 commented on MyJoyMyLightMyLove's blog post No Title
"So maybe you need to take out an ad "Wanted:  Pictureless widow to take my brother off my hands.""
Apr 13
widow85 commented on Orb101214's blog post Small Rant
"Ugh, What sales-hungry dunderheads. I got a nice Verizon rep who suggested I close my husband's account -- then she opened a new one for me just to give me a bunch of discounts as a new account holder. She was a sweetheart, kept saying…"
Apr 13
widow85 commented on Jerseygirl2525 (Andrea)'s blog post I don't know where he's buried
"Wow. I am so sorry about your horrible treatment. The family connection of this cousin should mean nothing to you at this point, right? The problem is he will likely do this again and again to other people. If you have the stomach for it, maybe…"
Apr 13
widow85 replied to ashleynicole8378's discussion Need some advice please?
"If, and only if, you feel up to it, maybe talk personally with the person you are closest to in that group of friends, something like "I know we didn't make the last camping trip but I and my son are still really interested in being…"
Mar 31
widow85 commented on Soaring Spirits's group Widowed in 2013
"Whatever you and he had, however flawed, crooked, weird, wonderful, or whatever, was yours and his alone. Also, other people's lives ALWAYS seem so much more put together from our outside view, don't they? Hang in there. "
Mar 30
widow85 replied to Mary H's discussion Faking it to Make it Didn't Work
"This old camp song/story came into my head, Can't go around it, can't go over it, can't go under it, gotta go through it. My sincerest sympathy and long-distance hand holding to you. I'm a little over 3 years out, and for me, 2nd…"
Mar 22
widow85 replied to ashleynicole8378's discussion Rant!
"But what would Mark want you to do? Other than "honoring" him by joining the church you've been going to? Probably he would have wanted you to do what's right and a good fit for you, yes? I understand wanting to scream. Early on,…"
Mar 15
widow85 replied to Rich's discussion What's the point?
"I am so sorry you (and we) have to go through this. If you had had a choice, would you have given up the wonderful depth of loving and being loved that you experienced in order not to have this pain? Or, like that science fiction movie, would…"
Feb 23
widow85 replied to Patricia's discussion I Forgot His Voice
"I am so very sorry for your loss. Sounds like you had a wonderful close relationship. That hole just feels impossible to fill, doesn't it? Do you by any chance have a voice message on a phone? I stupidly lost my spouse's voice message when…"
Feb 23
widow85 replied to WittyBlondeWolverine's discussion The Mountains of Paperwork
"I applied for my own Home Depot card at the store. The clerk must have wondered why I was crying . . ."
Feb 21
widow85 replied to Nance63's discussion the brain on grief
"It was 3 years ago; it's funny now. He had several other silly, and even painful suggestions, which I posted about awhile back under the stupid-things-people-say thread. I would still recommend him if, say, your kids are fighting with you, he…"
Feb 15
widow85 replied to Nance63's discussion the brain on grief
"Second on the new counselor/counselor. I went back to a therapist who had been very helpful, briefly, on other life issues, and he was frankly dreadful at bereavement counseling. Suggested I take a community center cooking class to "move…"
Feb 15

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At 9:15am on February 26, 2014, Lisa (lost) Lamb said…

I'm so sorry for your loss and the reason you are here, but I hope you will find the same hope and understanding that I have. This is a safe and soft landing for all of us! Welcome!

At 5:59pm on February 25, 2014, Joyce said…

Welcome widow85: I'm sorry for your loss but I'm glad you found your way to this site. I hope you will find the same comfort and understanding here at Widowed Village that I have. In the beginning I just read the blogs and posts and lurked in chat. Post and join in chat when you feel comfortable. It is nice to be among people who "Get It"


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