This site is run by widowed people, for widowed people

Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

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  • Arlington, VA
  • United States
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widow85's Discussions

Polling our loyal readers -- best place to retire?

Started this discussion. Last reply by Patience (Diane) Jan 26. 1 Reply

Any tips on retirement locations? I'm not there yet, and I could just stay where I am (Gee, why not live in one of the most expensive areas in the ENTIRE country?!) but it's good to plan ahead.I like…Continue

Veterans Day Greetings! (to U.S. Widville friends)

Started this discussion. Last reply by david1980 Nov 11, 2015. 3 Replies

Just a note of thanks and remembrance for all our vets, both widowed and on the site, AND our significant others who served and are not with us anymore. Would love to hear your memories of service.As…Continue

Tax Time Sucks!

Started this discussion. Last reply by kln82 Oct 19, 2014. 5 Replies

Have just about finished my (extended deadline) income tax filing for 2013. I now realize why I had put it off so long, even though I'm a CPA and should know better. It was almost unbearable. I had…Continue

Need advice WNers, so overwhelming to plan a second memorial event

Started this discussion. Last reply by widow85 Mar 31, 2014. 1 Reply

The girls and I are planning to scatter my husband's ashes in the ocean off Long Beach, NY, where in his younger days he worked at his grandfather's deli. We thought this would be a good time to get…Continue


widow85's Page

Latest Activity

widow85 replied to Former Yooper's discussion Losing their voice on the landline voice mail.
"Lost the voice mail recording when I finally changed the Verizon account to my name. My daughter said the universe was saying it was time to let go of that . . . she is wise young person! I do have a YouTube of him talking about voter rights…"
Aug 7
widow85 replied to HelensRay's discussion Do others have problems with photo's
"I'm not quite sure where my wedding album is! My husband was an avid amateur photographer (he had a gallery show at some point), and if he could have taken our wedding photos himself he would have. Anyway, he didn't really like our…"
Aug 7
widow85 replied to soul's discussion Overwhelmed ...
"I must add I am not a lawyer and this doesn't constitute legal or professional advice -- just a suggestion for you to consider."
Jul 6
widow85 replied to soul's discussion Overwhelmed ...
"Like you don't have enough on your to do list already, Do you have a tough-minded friend who could help with this? Ask them to write a letter just as you have expressed above, and either 1) send the letter to him with a check for $350 or…"
Jul 6
widow85 replied to desare's discussion what to say to people who tell you how to handle things.IM STUCK.
"I totally agree with the advice to say "Thank you, but I need to grieve in my own way."   Sounds like they would be more comfortable if you would just act more "normal" (as defined by them) --…"
Jun 26
widow85 replied to Rich's discussion Would you do it again?
"Hell to the Yes!!"
Jun 19
widow85 replied to NoLongerInBergenJC's discussion Discussion thread -- for those who had to "pull the plug"
"In my case, I had to decide yes or no call 911, so a little different scenario. My husband had respiratory failure at home about 48 hours after his stomach tube surgery (10-15% chance of this for ALS patients, so we knew it could happen). I had a…"
Jun 16
widow85 replied to Susan's discussion Recipes For One
"Well sauced (think of Stouffer's frozen lasagna) seems to work best for me with regard to mush. I don't know why; not a chemist or whatever."
Jun 13
widow85 replied to Suz's discussion Do you ever get annoyed at the price of funerals?
"Ignore them all. Not worth the mental energy. Feel fine about your choice, and making all the hard decisions you've had to make."
Jun 12
widow85 replied to Susan's discussion Recipes For One
"Frozen pasta blobs. This takes awhile to prepare, but so worth it to have on hand. Put a pot of water on to boil. Brown up to  a pound, whatever you have, of ground meat, bite size raw chicken, or loose sausage/sausage…"
Jun 7
widow85 replied to Nance63's discussion the brain on grief
"I am almost 3 1/2 years out, and my brain is finally starting to functioning in a sort of sputtering way. Earlier this year, I suddenly realized I don't need disability insurance anymore. Also why am I carrying all this life insurance? I had…"
Jun 6
widow85 replied to Suz's discussion Do you ever get annoyed at the price of funerals?
"What awful stories! I did a cremation and a plain cardboard box for about $1,600. The funeral home messed up getting the death certificate, so my husband was not "present" (in his box) at his own memorial service -- 2 1/2 weeks after…"
Jun 5
widow85 replied to Soaring Spirits's discussion US: SOUTH - ATLANTIC in the group Connect with others in your area
"Anyone in DC metro area into theater and wanna get together for a Capital Fringe Show and coffee or drinks? Fringe season runs July 6-30. WARNING: Possible exposure to vicious satire, gender queer issues, body parts, non-kumbaya race relations,…"
May 30
widow85 replied to Doug02122014's discussion What to do with spouses personal effects and when?
"Heartily second, yes, do what feels right and you will know when. The universe will speak to you in some way. My spouse's van, which functioned as a sort of man cave, was totaled when someone sideswiped me in it about a month after his death. I…"
May 30
widow85 replied to Susan's discussion How Do You Live As Half of a Person...
"More like a single person who has been ripped in half and is all raw edges . . . Been about 3 1/2 years and my brain is finally re-engaging. I have not much recollection of year 1 and year 2 was just a painful slog. I have started doing some…"
May 8
widow85 replied to Imogen's discussion Stupid People
"Oh lordy, "I wish my husband was dead" just takes the cake. My weirdest comment was from a co-worker on the elevator one day, "I probably should have sent you a condolence card, but I just don't deal well with death.""
May 3

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Comment Wall (2 comments)

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At 9:15am on February 26, 2014, Lisa (lost) Lamb said…

I'm so sorry for your loss and the reason you are here, but I hope you will find the same hope and understanding that I have. This is a safe and soft landing for all of us! Welcome!

At 5:59pm on February 25, 2014, Joyce said…

Welcome widow85: I'm sorry for your loss but I'm glad you found your way to this site. I hope you will find the same comfort and understanding here at Widowed Village that I have. In the beginning I just read the blogs and posts and lurked in chat. Post and join in chat when you feel comfortable. It is nice to be among people who "Get It"


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