All Blog Posts (2,963)

In the time since Tom’s death, there have been four major national news stories that consumed the air waves and newspaper pages.

First there was the Newtown shootings; then the Boston Marathon bombings; in Cleveland earlier this month three women who’d been kidnapped years ago were found in a house, where they’d been held captive for years; and now, there is the Oklahoma tornado. (I opt to not provide links because, if you wish, you can Google the events named above, it would…

Before you choose not to read this, that is not a declarative, TMI statement about my hygiene routine.

It is a “working title” for a theoretical book I would write about grief.

If you’re a woman, maybe you can appreciate how significant an act shaving of the legs is. It is something we all do frequently during the week without giving it much thought beyond “is it bad enough that I have to shave today?”…

I just returned from my California trip.  My Mother and Aunt reuniting after not seeing each other for years was heartwarming.  I am happy that I could make that possible for my Mother.  I had a okay time, was mainly thinking of my Husband, who died 69 days ago.  I didn't want to be a downer, so I put on a smile and acted like everything was fine.  I was glad to get home this morning to my own surroundings where I feel comfort.  I don't feel like I fit in anywhere.  I don't want to be around…

I was widowed in November 2011.  It's a shame that I didn't find this site at the time, a blog like this would have been useful as I was trying to make sense of where I was and where I was going. All-in-all I'm OK at the moment, but I've still got quite a lot to work out about this…

Some days, if I just don't let myself look back, I can forget all that has happened. But then May comes along and the memories of the lack of help, overwhelming stress, heartbreak at seeing Michael so ill, missing having time by his side as I tried to 'do it all and please all' instead of anyone around me looking to cover and care for me...without directions...just hits me. I want to go back and say to hell with everyone and be a "B" and tell all to 'F off'. Michael asked me to 'just take me…

“Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.”

―Phillip K. Dick, I Hope I shall Arrive Soon…

I can hardly stand hearing that other's have moved on.....should I really be happy for them? Gawd that sounds horrible. I can't even feel happy for myself. 

Having lost my Daddy 7-1-12 then my spouse 10-1-12 I don't really understand how others can be happy and still talk of marriage I just flat out don't get…

June 2nd is fast approaching. The one year anniversary of John's passing is approaching. Each day I have had him in my mind, though I will be perfectly honest  in the beginning I mourned the loss. No more. I will NOT look on the day with dread, with mourning. I thought that's what I was suppose to feel,but I should not conform to what society expects me to feel.  I spoke to my ministers (I know two of them) and they put things in a…

It started 6 years ago, I’d patched him together so many times, but the stitches just wouldn’t hold.  Dialysis would help give him time until he could get a kidney they said; more patchwork on the worn afghan that was his life.  But it caused more stress on the worn yarn.  And the well loved life of my dear Mark was starting to fade, all the patches made that afghan…

It seems like we have instructions for everything.  Instructions for putting things together like bicycles, grills, using hand tools, coffee pots, microwaves, washers, dryers, lawn mowers, downloading and installing software.  I have found that LIFE does not come with a set of instructions nor does this journey through widowhood.

We just muddle our way through the journey of widowhood stumbling along the way, falling down, getting back up with some scrapes and bruises along the way. …

So I sit here tonight in a down mood.  I spent most of the morning looking at grief websites.  Trying to figure out where I am in my grief and how many steps I have to take to get out of the stage I am in.  I really want to be farther along than I am!  I found out from the sites that…. well nothing, because it all varies for each person.   Another morning gone and nothing accomplished.  That depresses me…

 Hello WV friends,

I would like to share with you all, the good news, 

I will marry Lee Sherry (also of WV) on June 1, 2013 @ 1pm. In his home state of Washington.

I will be moving there this next week.

We will of course still be here, to love and support each other.

God Bless,…

I an having a tough week for some reason.  My students have been with me on this grief journey, so they are able to recognize "those" days.  Yesterday, one of my sweet girls handed this to me after class.  

THE HARDEST OF TIMES

I know that you're in

   the hardest of times

And I know it's a tough

   uphill climb, but

things get better, and

I know it was supposed 

   to be forever.

But forever…

I am an introvert.  That does not mean that I don't like other people, or that I prefer to be alone.  It means that I use up energy when I have to interact with others, and that I restore my energy when I don't have lots of people to deal with.  I actually am a pretty good public speaker, and have spoken to groups large and small all over the country.  I've been interviewed on the radio and on television.  I am the director of a private school, so speaking to others is something that I have…

This is a photo of Cindy on graduation day. We sat next to each other during the ceremony. Shared some champagne. Stood in line together.  Little did we know that day, what life had in store for us in terms of togetherness. 6-1/2 years later we were married. Married for 27-1/2 years. Traveled the world together. Had so many adventures together. Raised two wonderful children...

My daughter is graduating from college tomorrow. We have survived the loss of Cindy (just over 11…

From the first moment, my first emotion (besides gut wrenching sadness) was guilt. I can remember screaming to myself: "This is not your fault-shut up!" But still I fought the battle internally. The "what if's", and the "but maybes" nearly killed me. Friends and Family backed up the small voice of reality in my head. They insisted I not feel guilty. So I stopped talking about the guilt. I locked it away in a corner of my soul, and tried to look past it, but I never let it go. This here, my…