Widowed Village

A community of peers created by the Soaring Spirits Loss Foundation

All Blog Posts (2,971)

BUCKLE UP BOYS..... IT'S GOING TO BE A ROUGH RIDE.

I get it.  I've got it.  I understand.  STOP beating it into my sorry ass brain!  You all tell me at 3.5 months I am still too early, too raw, too new, too whatever.  WHAT EVER!!!!  If ANY of you have seen my entire blog (are you kidding, four entries!) you know my soul.  PERIOD.  

I need some input.  There are a lot of people out there who will look at this.  MOST of you have been where I am right now.  Because of my effort and many people I have had in my life, I think (don't hold…

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Added by Paulie on May 25, 2013 at 4:59am — 2 Comments

What to I do with our Anniversary on 5/26?!

Sunday 5/26 is our 27th anniversary. It's also the day my husbands obituary us running in the SF Chronicle. Talk about timing! I didn't plan that it should take so long for his obit... But I'm disabled and on a fixed income and had to wait for available funds to pay for the obit. None of his children would pay for it. I won't go there, it hurts too much! So it runs this Sunday. It's Memorial Day & he was a Marine Veteran so that makes it a bit bearable. What do we do with our anniversaries?… Continue

Added by Grammie59 on May 24, 2013 at 11:31pm — 3 Comments

Without Tyler

It's been 3 weeks now since my best friend and husband had to go. Why do people say that they are sorry for my loss or ask how I lost Tyler? He's not lost, I know exactly where he is, in heaven. The day that Tyler went to be with God actually began as one of the best days of my life. We got to find out the sex of our baby that I am currently 23 weeks pregnant with, a girl. We went to register and took gender reveal pictures in front of a tree that blossomed pink. The day was amazing. Then… Continue

Added by TylerandShane on May 24, 2013 at 10:54pm — 1 Comment

ouch

It was on this Friday before Memorial Day, a year ago, that the doctor took me into the hallway and told me that it would be irresponsible of him if he didn’t tell me that he thought Ron had 24-48 hours to live. A year ago that I asked Susan to bring the girls to the hospital to say good bye to their daddy in case he didn’t make it home. A year ago that I chose the wrong hospice to help us.  A year ago that Anne called Steve and Ed and told them to hurry back home from Indiana and Colorado.…

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Added by MissingRKK on May 24, 2013 at 4:27pm — 1 Comment

What might have been

Earlier this month, I went to the funeral for Tom’s Dad.

At the luncheon afterward, I took up Tom’s great-nephew, Parker, the little guy who was born…

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Added by Tomsgirl on May 23, 2013 at 9:37pm — No Comments

What might have been

Photo courtesy of Kookai_nak at freedigitalphotos.net

Photo courtesy of Kookai_nak at freedigitalphotos.net

Earlier this month, I went to the funeral for Tom’s Dad.

At the luncheon afterward, I took up Tom’s great-nephew, Parker, the little guy who was born too soon, little over a month after Tom’s death, to a…

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Added by Tomsgirl on May 23, 2013 at 9:04pm — No Comments

handling the jagged memories

I think what is so unfair about those long term illnesses is that they rob so many people, yourself, your family, the siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins, old friends and neighbours, of what life would have been like if you were your normal, healthy self. I think back to the 13 years Ray lived here with me looking after him and see the toll it took on our relationships with so many people.  The reason no friends come around now to comfort me is that one by one they faded away, unable to cope…

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Added by only1sue on May 23, 2013 at 8:00pm — 2 Comments

I Hate Dreamin'

I just dozed off watching TV a little while ago and apparently fell into a deep enough sleep to dream. I dreamt that there was a lot of racket going on in the next room, people talking and laughing. I remember thinking I need to wake up to see what's going on. I walked into the room and there was David. I was so shocked and he was talking to everyone except me.



Then suddenly it was just me and him in the room. Without him saying anything, I knew he wanted a divorce. I said, "You want… Continue

Added by MyNewLife on May 22, 2013 at 10:16pm — 7 Comments

Avoiding tragic national news

In the time since Tom’s death, there have been four major national news stories that consumed the air waves and newspaper pages.

First there was the Newtown shootings; then the Boston Marathon bombings; in Cleveland earlier this month three women who’d been kidnapped years ago were found in a house, where they’d been held captive for years; and now, there is the Oklahoma tornado. (I opt to not provide links because, if you wish, you can Google the events named above, it would…

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Added by Tomsgirl on May 21, 2013 at 7:49pm — 5 Comments

Is this the new me?

I feel like a totally different person than I was with Ed. I'm still surprised I'm still here and have no idea how I got here. I started dating someone. We've been seeing each other for about a month now. He is very sweet and understanding. I have moments of feeling so guilty for being with him, for being happy, for not thinking of Ed at every waking moment. Does that get better? Or do I just need to get used to this feeling? I'm not as lonely as I have been, but I still feel out of place. I… Continue

Added by edswife(Paula) on May 21, 2013 at 5:24pm — 2 Comments

I shaved my legs today

Before you choose not to read this, that is not a declarative, TMI statement about my hygiene routine.

It is a “working title” for a theoretical book I would write about grief.

If you’re a woman, maybe you can appreciate how significant an act shaving of the legs is. It is something we all do frequently during the week without giving it much thought beyond “is it bad enough that I have to shave today?”…

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Added by Tomsgirl on May 20, 2013 at 8:39pm — 10 Comments

Trying to fit in! (my new life)

I just returned from my California trip.  My Mother and Aunt reuniting after not seeing each other for years was heartwarming.  I am happy that I could make that possible for my Mother.  I had a okay time, was mainly thinking of my Husband, who died 69 days ago.  I didn't want to be a downer, so I put on a smile and acted like everything was fine.  I was glad to get home this morning to my own surroundings where I feel comfort.  I don't feel like I fit in anywhere.  I don't want to be around…

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Added by lizbeth4 on May 20, 2013 at 3:40pm — 3 Comments

My first blog post

I was widowed in November 2011.  It's a shame that I didn't find this site at the time, a blog like this would have been useful as I was trying to make sense of where I was and where I was going. All-in-all I'm OK at the moment, but I've still got quite a lot to work out about this…

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Added by Patrick on May 20, 2013 at 5:34am — 3 Comments

Life's a beach!

May 20, 2013:  Ahhh Tomorrow...Fives years ago tomorrow I woke up in an instant and looked down at the foot of the bed to see something!  A shadow that broke into my sleep filled eyes and a sudden realization..That Cathie was looking at me with a smile.  In a moment she was there and then gone..in a moment I looked at the shell that lay there next to me and realized my life as i knew it was changed forever.  Five years and here I am with so many…
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Added by SpiritWalker on May 20, 2013 at 3:02am — 3 Comments

My May story...

Some days, if I just don't let myself look back, I can forget all that has happened. But then May comes along and the memories of the lack of help, overwhelming stress, heartbreak at seeing Michael so ill, missing having time by his side as I tried to 'do it all and please all' instead of anyone around me looking to cover and care for me...without directions...just hits me. I want to go back and say to hell with everyone and be a "B" and tell all to 'F off'. Michael asked me to 'just take me…

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Added by TimetoFly on May 19, 2013 at 10:21pm — 7 Comments

Knowing Now

“Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.”

―Phillip K. Dick, I Hope I shall Arrive Soon…

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Added by hendrixx2 on May 19, 2013 at 4:51pm — 6 Comments

Moving on 'WHEN?"

I can hardly stand hearing that other's have moved on.....should I really be happy for them? Gawd that sounds horrible. I can't even feel happy for myself. 

Having lost my Daddy 7-1-12 then my spouse 10-1-12 I don't really understand how others can be happy and still talk of marriage I just flat out don't get…

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Added by M'LADY on May 19, 2013 at 12:30am — 7 Comments

Hoo What a difference a Year Makes

June 2nd is fast approaching. The one year anniversary of John's passing is approaching. Each day I have had him in my mind, though I will be perfectly honest  in the beginning I mourned the loss. No more. I will NOT look on the day with dread, with mourning. I thought that's what I was suppose to feel,but I should not conform to what society expects me to feel.  I spoke to my ministers (I know two of them) and they put things in a…

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Added by Emy on May 18, 2013 at 10:00pm — 9 Comments

The unraveling of a life...

It started 6 years ago, I’d patched him together so many times, but the stitches just wouldn’t hold.  Dialysis would help give him time until he could get a kidney they said; more patchwork on the worn afghan that was his life.  But it caused more stress on the worn yarn.  And the well loved life of my dear Mark was starting to fade, all the patches made that afghan…

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Added by Lori on May 18, 2013 at 5:48pm — 9 Comments

MIA - - INSTRUCTIONS

It seems like we have instructions for everything.  Instructions for putting things together like bicycles, grills, using hand tools, coffee pots, microwaves, washers, dryers, lawn mowers, downloading and installing software.  I have found that LIFE does not come with a set of instructions nor does this journey through widowhood.

We just muddle our way through the journey of widowhood stumbling along the way, falling down, getting back up with some scrapes and bruises along the way. …

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Added by janet on May 18, 2013 at 1:47pm — 9 Comments

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