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All Blog Posts (4,114)

His First Birthday In Heaven

Happy Birthday in Heaven....

I Miss you Husband
My Beloved Best Friend..
Your smile, your laugh
Your love that transcends...

On this, your first birthday
That we are apart
I draw strength from our love
And when the tears start.....

I'll cry my river
While deep within my soul
I feel you with me
And for a little while, I'll pretend I'm whole.
©lindaferrier_february2017

Added by spiritual dragonfly (Linda) on February 21, 2017 at 4:30am — No Comments

Letters: I Don't Want to Forget

It’s been five months since I have seen you, and I feel like I am starting to forget. Even though remembering hurts, it hurts even worse to forget.  When I dream about you, it is sometimes not your face I see, even though I know it’s you. How can that be? Where is your face when I need it so much?…

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Added by lowrsr (Sherry) on February 19, 2017 at 7:11am — 3 Comments

Yesterday

Had a rough day yesterday....

The worst since he left.

Tears, sobbing and puffy eyes

Left me feeling spent....



It was a long time coming

Something I've put off

Avoidance isn't the answer

Acceptance at all cost....



I know time is a healer

There is no calendar with grief

I'm grateful for the purge I had

It did bring some relief.....



Today is a new day

Sun is shining bright

The purge left me lighter

I know… Continue

Added by spiritual dragonfly (Linda) on February 18, 2017 at 11:48am — No Comments

A step out of my comfort zone

I am in my fifth year as a widow. I am to a certain extent “over it”. I am settled into a routine. I go out to coffee with other widows and occasionally a few couples from groups I belonged to while Ray was alive. I don't have much contact from his family. I do still talk to one sister-in-law occasionally. That's fine. At first I missed the contact but now I don't. I live in a sort of widow bubble, alone yet bumping into others, enough contact to keep me from feeling isolated yet not enough…

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Added by only1sue on February 17, 2017 at 7:00pm — 1 Comment

Five years ago was our 'Houseaversary'

My husband wasn't the typical romantic.  I didn't get huge bouquets of roses on Valentine's Day or candlelit dinners for the night of the anniversary of our first kiss, but he would always surprise me in the best way when I really needed it.  Five years ago I was very pregnant and my husband sent me this Edible Arrangement.  I had no idea what day it was, but when I read the note I realized it marked one year since we moved in to our house.  He wasn't typical, but he was romantic.  He made…

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Added by Orb101214 on February 17, 2017 at 3:03pm — No Comments

Week 18...Day 126..Without You

Today is Week 18...Day 126 since he left...I know my heart and soul are slowly healing, but I lost a huge part of myself that day.....

You departed unexpectedly
And left me alone.

Alone in limbo
Belonging no where.

I am a refugee
Wandering
Looking for my missing soul....
©lindaferrier_january2017

Added by spiritual dragonfly (Linda) on February 17, 2017 at 6:15am — No Comments

New Beginnings...

This popped up on my newsfeed in FB yesterday.....



(The endings in our lives are just doorways through which we pass in our ever expanding journey through eternity into greater and more magnificent love.



In human form, we cling to the familiar. That is the way our brain wires itself. Still, the unknown offers adventure, growth, new possibility!



What is ending in your life right now? What promise of new beginning does it hold?



Rather than looking back,… Continue

Added by spiritual dragonfly (Linda) on February 16, 2017 at 10:00am — 2 Comments

How taking my four year old to the Twenty One Pilots concert saved my Heavy Dirty Soul

This past Sunday I took my son to go see Twenty One Pilots perform in Sacramento.  It had been my husband’s idea to take him because our son loves their music and sings along to most songs from their Blurryface album.  Shortly after I bought the tickets my husband was diagnosed with leukemia and 5 short months later we lost him.  He was an amazing person and trying to pick up pieces after losing him has been near to impossible.  I wasn’t sure if I would be able to get through the concert,…

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Added by Orb101214 on February 15, 2017 at 8:43am — 3 Comments

A Widow's Galentine to Her Girlfriends

My Valentine to my yoga tribe is in Modern Loss, an online journal about coping with grief. This is the link to the article: A Widow's Galentine to her Girlfriends.  It's about how making women friends really helped me to cope with my loneliness as a widow.  It's a turning point for me because I was a crazy online dater for a while after George died and this is in part how I got healthier about…

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Added by The Hungover Widow on February 13, 2017 at 1:00pm — No Comments

VALENTINES DAY CHAT

Some of us thought it might be helpful to share with each other and give each other some loving support and hugs on chat on Valentines Day. If you are so inclined come to the chat room  at 8 pm eastern which is 7central and 5 pacific.

Added by Hope on February 13, 2017 at 6:42am — No Comments

3-years ago today.

Well 3-years ago today 2-12-2017, at 2:05 a.m. I said goodbye to my first wife Darlene when she took her last breath. We were married 19 years, 4 months, 27 days; kiddo we almost made it to the 20-year mark.



God had other, bigger plans than either of us could have imagined.



You helped to further medical research into Gerstmann-Sträussler-Scheinker disease (G.S.S.) and even contributed in some small way to the awareness of this disease. I recently found out about a TV… Continue

Added by Doug02122014 on February 12, 2017 at 11:30pm — No Comments

Baby Steps...

Yesterday marked day 120 since I lost My Jim. He took care of everything...and I mean everything.....So, I found myself in a quandary of what to do about getting my taxes done as he'd always done them himself. Not knowing who to go to, my son sent me to Sharon, who is, as far as I'm concerned, one of many Angels I've been Blessd to cross paths with. She was so incredibly helpful and kind and made the process as painless as possible for me. I left feeling a teeny bit lighter, knowing another box… Continue

Added by spiritual dragonfly (Linda) on February 12, 2017 at 7:47am — No Comments

The Last Centurion

Unpacking continues. I'm more or less settled in, but there's still random boxes and not everything quite has a home yet, but it's a liveable space, and I'm content. There's pictures on the walls, Hestia is on the mantle, and I've put my new vinyl cutter to good use, and there's a ton of different quotes, sayings, etc. on the walls. My seneschal said that even after under a month, it's clear that I've put down roots. That this is my HOME, and I'm staying here and it feels like…

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Added by Medea on February 12, 2017 at 5:01am — No Comments

Week 17....Without You

With your last heartbeat
My life was forever changed......

Added by spiritual dragonfly (Linda) on February 10, 2017 at 9:23am — No Comments

Yes, I'm still a Widow

5 years post loss and people around me no longer see me as a widow.  I haven't remarried. I haven't even officially dated. Not to say that I wouldn't want to, but life is super busy as a solo full-time working parent with two kids who have learning differences and other unique needs. People who meet us now don't know our story- our full story.  The story of us before sudden debilitating loss. They may casually ask about their dad- "oh, does he get his hair color…

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Added by OriRising on February 9, 2017 at 10:31am — 4 Comments

Valentine's Day

11 years ago I was in the grocery store and on a whim, bought a little valentine stuffed animal for a man I had been running into at my kids' school and talking to. He had asked me out but I said it was too early (I was still going through a divorce). We talked on the phone a couple of times, and then when I saw all…

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Added by lowrsr (Sherry) on February 8, 2017 at 4:52pm — 1 Comment

November Dragonfly

November Dragonfly



An afternoon stroll

Thoughts of you on my mind

Tears began to fall

Cause you left me behind....



Found myself by the lake

Sat a spell on a rock

Looking up at the sun

I knew I'd be asking a lot.....



Though the sun was shining

The November air was cold

To think a dragonfly would be near

I couldn't have foretold...



A few moments later

It was apparent to me

You heard what I was… Continue

Added by spiritual dragonfly (Linda) on February 7, 2017 at 9:44am — No Comments

How Do I?

How do I pick up the pieces?
How do I go on?
In the blink of an eye
My life has changed.
The fact is....
Your gone.

Your gone from this physical world,
But deep inside me you'll remain.
I feel your are with me,
And that will have to do,
Today I begin a new chapter
For moving slowly forward is what I have to do.
©lindafedroff-ferrier_october2016

Added by spiritual dragonfly (Linda) on February 3, 2017 at 11:48am — 3 Comments

Groundhog Day

There's a comedy called Groundhog Day with Bill Murray where he's forced to live the same day over and over again. I feel like the same thing is happening to me, and it isn't funny. The days are flying by and I'm standing still. I almost forgot to change my calendar. It's like I'm in some sort of time warp. I'm just going through the motions and barely doing that. At least I did laundry today, though. That was a good thing. I'm trying to take it one day at a time as someone suggested, but…

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Added by Jerseygirl2525 (Andrea) on February 2, 2017 at 3:30pm — 5 Comments

Therapy

This is my first blog post. I've been going to see a grief therapist. I've never gone to therapy before. Since my husband died though, I've been struggling with this mountain of grief, anxiety, and depression that's so overwhelming, I thought I was going to die myself at times.

Before my husband died, I was already under a tremendous amount of stress and my primary care doctor gave me some anti-anxiety medication and recommended I should see a grief therapist when I told him about how…

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Added by Jerseygirl2525 (Andrea) on February 1, 2017 at 5:13pm — 2 Comments

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