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All Blog Posts (4,486)

Waiting for him to come home

My soulmate/husband passed away May 15, 2020 suddenly from Sudden Cardiac Death. 

He had no health issues and this was totally out of the blue.

I was with him just 30 minutes prior to his passing in a tractor he was driving and had spoken with him a few minutes before.

But here I sit.......waiting for the love of my life to walk in the door from work.

Im a logical person so I know it isnt logical.

They allowed me to sit with him in the field until…


Added by jpann39 on October 20, 2020 at 10:09am — No Comments

piece from fear

Going on 3 months since my Julie pasted on 7/24/20. Scared , lost with no direction.

Added by Hurt cyclist on October 12, 2020 at 10:24am — No Comments

And here I am...

I just happened on this supportive network on a day that I really needed it. It all seems to be adding up on me here in the current dysfunction of the USA. 

The levels of uncertainty seem to escalate every day. Aside from trying to deal with my multiple losses, from most recent:

my Dad: March 6, 2019

my Stepmom: March 12, 2019

my husband, Doug: March 25, 2019

my dear friend and love, Beth: June 15, 2020

my dear friend, confidant, and neighbor, Pam…


Added by LostInAlaska on October 10, 2020 at 3:34pm — 7 Comments

Is there an "after this"?

Remember when we were kids and sang the song "Rain, rain go away"? Well I think that about Corona Virus, except that I want it gone permanently. But I guess we all do. The authorities, that is Federal and State government bodies,are busy cancelling Christmas events. Street parades, festivals, performance art of any kind except for a select few and those all in Sydney are being cancelled or defunded. So we are looking forward to a Christmas with very little hope of celebration. There may or…


Added by only1sue on October 4, 2020 at 11:30pm — 7 Comments


I'm in Studio City. Can anyone recommend a grief & trauma therapist in the valley? 

Thank you.

Added by Daisy on September 21, 2020 at 11:08am — No Comments

Our experience helps others

Today I went to a morning tea with seven other women from a large group I belong to. Due to the pandemic a few had decided they are not ready to go out yet but we were out in the open on a lovely Spring day, social distancing, drinking coffee, talking, catching up. It was a great morning. Two of the women are recently bereaved and one was out for the first time. That was our reason for being there as none of us were at either  husband's funeral. One of the widows sat next to me and said she…


Added by only1sue on September 16, 2020 at 12:00am — 2 Comments

The Heart's Longing...

Early this morning, I took this picture while the sun was rising by the lake. I spoke out loud into the heavens and universe wishing and praying my husband could hear how much I love, miss and still need him... I wrote this shortly after and thought I would share, in hopes that someone, somewhere could…


Added by AnderHeights on August 27, 2020 at 1:06pm — 7 Comments

No place like home?

I hate the end of winter with the wet cold blustery days.  The first of September is officially the first day of Spring here so hopefully there is more temperate weather ahead. I had three old friends die last week, not of Covid but age related illnesses. BUT because of Covid safe regulations the funerals were "invitation only" to comply with the present regulations of fifty booked in attendees. I was close to one couple but did not get a phone call from their…


Added by only1sue on August 25, 2020 at 10:17pm — 3 Comments

Erasing My Husband

Today makes 2 months and 5 days since my husband left this world behind.   I have a lot of trouble when it comes to putting things in my name.  I feel like I am erasing every bit of our lives together.   I had to change the lease the utilities even the maintenance on our car was under his name.   Our online bank accounts were in his name we used the same one for both of us that had to switch too.  Does anyone else struggle with this?   I just feel like he is…


Added by navigating life on August 25, 2020 at 1:54pm — 14 Comments

Bad nights, dreary days.

It seems as if time goes slowly now but suddenly a month has gone by. I have had a few bad nightmares lately.  I have a few nightmares from time to time, usually around the time of anniversaries, it will be eight years as a widow   for me in  September, not a good month for me with Father's Day, Ray's birthday and the anniversary of his death all in the one month. Add to that all the worries of Covid particularly the doom and gloom of the second wave we are experiencing now,  that is on my…


Added by only1sue on August 14, 2020 at 10:30pm — 3 Comments


When Tom first died I didn't have many dreams.  It may be because I didn't sleep much and when I did it was only for short periods of time.  After a few months and things started to "settle" (for lack of a better term) did I begin to have dreams on Tom.  The majority of my dreams were that he was still alive and this was a big mistake.  He was pulling off a massive prank and he was indeed live and well.  Dreams of this sort have continued until last night.  Last night is the first time I had…


Added by TeresaNY on August 9, 2020 at 5:23am — 4 Comments

My Fading Memories

I've always had a bad memory.  So bad my mother has once commented that she would never want me to be her alibi since I don't even remember what I did yesterday and she would surely go to jail if she had to rely on me to bail her out.  My husband was my memory.  He would remember all the places we took the kids, or the little stories when we were there.  Don't get me wrong I do remember things, just not everything.  He remembered everything.  My kids ask me now about stories and they just…


Added by TeresaNY on August 5, 2020 at 4:57am — 1 Comment

Highly Sensitive Person - navigation without you

I know I never heard of this term or came to the realization that I was “different“ in having this trait until after you were gone, but somehow it seems such a weight to carry without you. 

It is worse as I get older, but I suppose that is not unusual. The loud noises, bright lights, crowds, and so much information coming from all directions. Sometimes it all overwhelms me.

Yesterday was our grandson’s 11th birthday, which I can hardly believe such time has passed. He enjoyed…


Added by Tess on July 20, 2020 at 2:30am — 3 Comments

The silence is deafening, the loneliness is unbearable!

Hello, everyone.  I am new to this club.  I lost my husband of 35 years ( 2 1/2 weeks short of 36 years) on May 8th, 2019.  Wow, writing that was hard!  I have a hard time expressing myself, so I will keep this short.  My husband was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer on Jan 30th, 2019.  He went fast.  In 36 years I had only seen him sick once, he had a very bad case of bronchitis.  I still can't believe he is gone, I am lost without him!  I have no support system whatsoever.  The last 14…


Added by GlorWyo on July 14, 2020 at 8:21pm — 15 Comments


It will be 2 years August 16 that I found my husband dead in our car, he was waiting for me while I had my Mom at an appointment. I came out and he was slumped over steering wheel, I thought he was sleeping, but when I touched him, I knew. The EMT worked on him for over 15 minutes, then transferred him to the hospital where a Doctor pronounced him dead.  The rest of that afternoon is still a blur, and the days following.  The past couple of months I am more sad and depressed, our 30th…


Added by Lost on July 14, 2020 at 2:37pm — 6 Comments


20 yrs ago i net her in an aol chatroom. we did chat alot then phone till late at night a yr later she moved from rockwood tn. to here. we had so many great yrs. she loved to mow the yard,watch the walking dead and go to wal-mart. about 2 yrs ago her back got worse so i did everything  . was glad to do it. last winter she got a sore throut that was more in her mouth. first doctor thought thrush. then different medicine then specialist. said burning mouth syndrome ,no cause no cure.she could…


Added by darren on July 12, 2020 at 10:15am — 7 Comments

What you are missing...

I reflect a lot of the state of the world and how you would feel were you still here. I secretly am glad you are not. I will persevere on behalf of us both. It is my sacrifice to you as I know your temperament could never tolerate for very long all the chaos erupting daily. At least not without putting individuals in their places, perhaps not in such a socially accepted manner : - 0

That leaves me with the double labor of complaining and being on the opposite side of the world…


Added by Tess on July 12, 2020 at 7:26am — 8 Comments


It has only been 2 months since George's death and the loneliness clings to me like a wet shirt.  I knew when I married him that this day would come too soon as he was 14 and a half years older than me.  Even with his death, I don't regret my decision to marry him.  As the Garth Brooks song says... I could have missed the pain, but I would have missed the dance.  For me, one of the worst things is having to put on the act of a happy face when I am dying inside as no one wants to be around…


Added by Snowhite on July 12, 2020 at 7:15am — 6 Comments

This reminds me of a previous battle

In 199O I was a very busy person. I had two teenaged boys and a 21 year old daughter, I was doing a course in Office Management at a local Technical College and still doing Tupperware parties, church activities etc. I badly needed a break. Our local radio station had a competition where you answered five questions for $90. This was the exact price of a flight to one of the country towns we had lived in when Ray was a Fisheries Officer where old friends had asked us to an anniversary party.…


Added by only1sue on July 10, 2020 at 7:19pm — 2 Comments

Hitting the one year mark

In less than a month I will be hitting the one year mark of losing my husband.  I am a mix of emotions.  I'm amazed that the year has gone so quickly and I accomplished the things I did, not because I was so motivated to do them but because they were a necessity.  It saddens me that I had to make decisions on my own.  Tom and I made decision about the house, a new car, kids, family, trips, money, even what to have for dinner, we made those decisions together. For the past year I have made…


Added by TeresaNY on July 10, 2020 at 5:55am — 5 Comments

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