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January 2015 Blog Posts (33)

the loneliest place

 It is January, it is hot, it is holiday season here on the east coast of Australia.  I live in an area that trebles in numbers during peak holiday period.  So crowds are everywhere and It takes ten minutes for me to get out onto the main road some days.  So how do I feel ?  Lousy.  I feel disconnected,disappointed, out of the communal consciousness.   Because the focus of school holidays is  "families" and as a widow on her own I am not "families", I am a solo so nothing is geared…


Added by only1sue on January 6, 2015 at 1:48pm — 2 Comments


Fist thank you all for your comments and advice,it helps to know this can be doable and I'm not alone in this journey.I'm able to function because I have no choice.I was granted custody of 3 grandchildren ages 2,7,9  three months before my husband passed,their mother is incarcerated for 2 years and there father is a homeless drug addict whom I tried to help until he stole his children's nextbook and cellphone .I have to get up every morning,give them breakfast get them to school,make…


Added by susanfrmfla on January 4, 2015 at 8:23pm — 3 Comments

Hornet on Joy

I am reading here, the posts of those of us who lost our best friends suddenly, and it made me think that it is not only the shock of the event that we need to recover from, but the loss of joy.


You know, I didn’t realize how much joy I felt being alive…living with a man for 32 years who was not perfect, but who loved me without question…without hesitation…without…


Added by Hornet (Cindy) on January 4, 2015 at 5:57pm — 5 Comments

New Year

I find it odd that I still can't write about the holidays. Normally it's really easy to blog but I'm finding I don't know what to say. The holidays are bittersweet, as I expected them to be.

So here I am, facing the electronic equivalent of a "blank sheet of paper" and we're staring each other down.

In many ways the holidays were about retracing my steps. My husband was estranged from his mother for very good reasons – she's a bully and had done some very very cruel things… Continue

Added by Lakelady on January 4, 2015 at 3:00pm — No Comments

My Get out of Dodge Xmas Cruise

So this story is about my cruise, Christmas week 2014.

The purpose was to “run away” from staying home for Christmas, giving myself permission to do something different this year, and maybe in the future as well.  The related pictures are also on the site as well.

So on to the story…


The inspiration to actually do this, something I’ve never done and to go to a place I’ve never been came…


Added by Dave55 on January 4, 2015 at 10:00am — 3 Comments

Moving On

During my ship's 2001 deployment to the Persian Gulf, my wife, Bonnie, went back to stay with her daughter, Candy, in Indiana.  Candy was very depressed because of marriage problems.  One morning Bonnie realized Candy was missing.  Later that day she was found where she had committed suicide.  Bonnie never stopped blaming herself for not preventing it.


I soon retired and we moved back to Indiana, to be close to family.  As the years went by Bonnie fell deeper into depression,…


Added by KenC on January 4, 2015 at 7:47am — No Comments


Here it is night again and I'm going over the last days and hours of his life again.It's like I have a date with this every night.Am I setting myself up for it? Seems like my in-laws are avoiding me,maybe we all just need time to grieve on our own.It's been 2months today I read posts from people who are in this process for 2 years or more and it doesn't seem to get better.I feel guilty for eating especially if it's one of his favorite dishes.I know I have to eat so…


Added by susanfrmfla on January 3, 2015 at 7:39pm — 3 Comments

2 years today

Here it is 2 years later, I still feel like shit! I try to remain positive, but sometimes I can't imagine ever feeling like my old self again. I suppose I'm setting myself up for failure thinking I could feel like that again. The old me is gone forever, my old life is gone forever. So what now? Will I always feel like this? I hope not, it sucks!! I try to hang on to hope that someday it will be better. But I have my doubts. I hope for hope. I must say some days are better, but the waves still… Continue

Added by JK (OK) on January 3, 2015 at 5:26pm — 1 Comment


The reality that he's never coming back is setting in.I'll never ever see him again..I was less angry today but more sad.Who knows what it will be tomorrow.What will set me off?I disposed of his medications today after I thought about taking them all But just for a second I couldn't put that pain on my family.I'm not ready to pack his clothes thats too final.I couldn't bear it.So I just keep washing and wearing the same things so I don't have to go in the closet.And the things people…


Added by susanfrmfla on January 2, 2015 at 9:59pm — 2 Comments

Learning to Breathe Again

I am fairly new to this blog posting - but I would surely like to try it out. I have now been widowed for 2 years and I have, for the most part - kept my thoughts to myself. Finding my place in this world witout my husband of 21 years has been and continues to be a difficult journey. I am extremely high functionioning and have always managed to do what I am supposed to be doing when I am supposed to be doing it. That doesn't mean it is easy or that I have all of the right answers. I am now in a… Continue

Added by Tammy on January 2, 2015 at 9:25pm — 2 Comments

A Winter's Nap

I was recently taking a nap with my aging beagle beside me. It was one of those rare afternoons when nothing was actually required of me, not that something didn’t need to be done, but no one was expecting me anywhere so I threw in the towel for the day and headed to my studio. I tried to write, I tried to paint, I tried to read but all I had the energy for was laying down. So I grabbed some blankets and made a fort of sorts on the floor so I could wrap myself around Abbey the beagle and…


Added by flannery on January 2, 2015 at 9:00am — 7 Comments


My husband passed Nov 3 after a yearlong battle with cancer,we were married 41 years at first I was very sad and lost then about 3Days ago I got angry really angry so angry I've broken my toe and bruised my hands hitting and kicking things Will I always be this angry?

Added by susanfrmfla on January 1, 2015 at 6:24pm — 3 Comments

feeling self-pity on the first day of the New Year

It is a New Year - 2015. I am supposed to be happy.  That's the point of wishing people "Happy New Year" isn't it?  But it is a holiday which I approach with mixed emotions and another one I am spending alone - so poor me.  Poor all of us that are spending holidays alone.  Given the circumstances what other choices do we have? 

Tonight I am disappointed in life.  I was to go on a week's vacation to a friend's place starting in two days time.  This…


Added by only1sue on January 1, 2015 at 2:30am — 2 Comments

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