It is January, it is hot, it is holiday season here on the east coast of Australia. I live in an area that trebles in numbers during peak holiday period. So crowds are everywhere and It takes ten minutes for me to get out onto the main road some days. So how do I feel ? Lousy. I feel disconnected,disappointed, out of the communal consciousness. Because the focus of school holidays is "families" and as a widow on her own I am not "families", I am a solo so nothing is geared…Continue
Fist thank you all for your comments and advice,it helps to know this can be doable and I'm not alone in this journey.I'm able to function because I have no choice.I was granted custody of 3 grandchildren ages 2,7,9 three months before my husband passed,their mother is incarcerated for 2 years and there father is a homeless drug addict whom I tried to help until he stole his children's nextbook and cellphone .I have to get up every morning,give them breakfast get them to school,make…Continue
I am reading here, the posts of those of us who lost our best friends suddenly, and it made me think that it is not only the shock of the event that we need to recover from, but the loss of joy.
You know, I didn’t realize how much joy I felt being alive…living with a man for 32 years who was not perfect, but who loved me without question…without hesitation…without…Continue
Added by Lakelady on January 4, 2015 at 3:00pm — No Comments
So this story is about my cruise, Christmas week 2014.
The purpose was to “run away” from staying home for Christmas, giving myself permission to do something different this year, and maybe in the future as well. The related pictures are also on the site as well.
So on to the story…
The inspiration to actually do this, something I’ve never done and to go to a place I’ve never been came…Continue
During my ship's 2001 deployment to the Persian Gulf, my wife, Bonnie, went back to stay with her daughter, Candy, in Indiana. Candy was very depressed because of marriage problems. One morning Bonnie realized Candy was missing. Later that day she was found where she had committed suicide. Bonnie never stopped blaming herself for not preventing it.
I soon retired and we moved back to Indiana, to be close to family. As the years went by Bonnie fell deeper into depression,…Continue
Added by KenC on January 4, 2015 at 7:47am — No Comments
Here it is night again and I'm going over the last days and hours of his life again.It's like I have a date with this every night.Am I setting myself up for it? Seems like my in-laws are avoiding me,maybe we all just need time to grieve on our own.It's been 2months today I read posts from people who are in this process for 2 years or more and it doesn't seem to get better.I feel guilty for eating especially if it's one of his favorite dishes.I know I have to eat so…Continue
The reality that he's never coming back is setting in.I'll never ever see him again..I was less angry today but more sad.Who knows what it will be tomorrow.What will set me off?I disposed of his medications today after I thought about taking them all But just for a second I couldn't put that pain on my family.I'm not ready to pack his clothes thats too final.I couldn't bear it.So I just keep washing and wearing the same things so I don't have to go in the closet.And the things people…Continue
I was recently taking a nap with my aging beagle beside me. It was one of those rare afternoons when nothing was actually required of me, not that something didn’t need to be done, but no one was expecting me anywhere so I threw in the towel for the day and headed to my studio. I tried to write, I tried to paint, I tried to read but all I had the energy for was laying down. So I grabbed some blankets and made a fort of sorts on the floor so I could wrap myself around Abbey the beagle and…Continue
My husband passed Nov 3 after a yearlong battle with cancer,we were married 41 years at first I was very sad and lost then about 3Days ago I got angry really angry so angry I've broken my toe and bruised my hands hitting and kicking things Will I always be this angry?
It is a New Year - 2015. I am supposed to be happy. That's the point of wishing people "Happy New Year" isn't it? But it is a holiday which I approach with mixed emotions and another one I am spending alone - so poor me. Poor all of us that are spending holidays alone. Given the circumstances what other choices do we have?
Tonight I am disappointed in life. I was to go on a week's vacation to a friend's place starting in two days time. This…Continue