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January 2016 Blog Posts (14)

My Sixth Year Without Him

Six years--how did that happen? Seems like just yesterday. What have I learned? That we can live without them, but, we never stop missing them--or, what we took for granted. I am now 2 years older than he was....our son has his bachelor's degree--and working on his master's....Our daughter gave birth to two grandchildren he never got to meet or hold in his arms.

But, I have came so far--I have to keep reminding myself. No more--should haves, would haves, or--could haves. It is…


Added by heart_and_soul on January 31, 2016 at 4:37pm — 1 Comment

some questions I am asking

Have you ever wondered why you react in certain ways to certain situation?  I know I am old, well past middle aged, over 60, over the hill, but am I still able to learn new things?  So can I change, be able to adapt and to let go?  So far I have done this slowly in my widowhood but this is a downhill run so I should be getting faster. I have been thinking over the past six weeks (school holidays so lack of routine activities and plenty of time to think) that I need to make some changes in my…


Added by only1sue on January 30, 2016 at 12:07pm — 1 Comment

2 years

It’s almost been 2 years. Does it feel like 2 years where you are? It feels like yesterday that you left. I can remember everything from those last days in Hospice. I can remember that, but I can’t remember where I put my keys…. I remember walking a lonely road there. I remember our last two arguments, involving your dying, of all things. It’s been a lonely road since you left. I’m usually walking alone,…


Added by [email protected] (Tracy) on January 27, 2016 at 8:42am — 1 Comment


It's been over 2 years since he died.

I feel lost.  I don't know where to go, what to do, who to see or even why I am here.

I sure didn't have this empty and lost void on my scope of experiences and I just can't even get a foothold, or even the will to climb.  I just don't know what it is that I could be even trying to achieve anymore.

Daily palliative radiotherapy immediately following a shocking terminal diagnosis robbed my husband of any energy, he slept on the lounge…


Added by smartyaligatorpants on January 24, 2016 at 2:22am — 2 Comments

reviewing life for 2016

One of the answers to a comment I wrote on one of the forums intrigued me.  The writer seemed to be saying that widows/widowers  recovering from looking after  a spouse long term tend to act younger, or what I think she was saying anyway.  I kind of understand this.  When you are a full time caregiver for many years (12 for me) it is like your life is put on hold so when the person you love so much and who you have been caring for so long dies it is like you want to revert to where you were…


Added by only1sue on January 22, 2016 at 1:30am — 3 Comments

Judging me "through" my Husband's eyes.

My husband's death was very public, tragic, & sudden. He was 49 years old and somehow his death became everyone else's tragedy.(It was on the TV, in several newspapers , & several magazines). I did my best to attend the public events in which he was honored or missed and have tried to represent him at certain functions he always attended. I have now been criticized for trying to be my husband or trying to take his place by assuming professional responsibilities. I even had a mutual…


Added by CinPan on January 16, 2016 at 8:32am — 5 Comments

A Conversation Thru Time

For those who don't know me I am 55 and a 2nd time widow moving through life with 3 kids, 1 son-in-law and various grandpuppies and kittens.  I'm also from Australia so you Americans will have to pardon the spelling etc hehehe.

I'm approaching 15 years since my first husband died from brain tumours.  And I can honestly say I still wish he were with us then I wouldn't…


Added by chez2all on January 11, 2016 at 7:13pm — No Comments

Taking down the Christmas tree

Kathy and I bought our house in the spring of 1984 and hosted our first Christmas that next December. With just two exceptions, we hosted every Christmas family gathering ever since. Both of our families came and in our heyday we had more than 35 people. Over the last few years, nieces and nephews who started coming as babies, came with husbands, wives, significant others, and kids of their own.

We spent a lot of time preparing and decorating. Over time we’ve accumulated lots of…


Added by alonenow (Betsy) on January 9, 2016 at 2:22pm — 1 Comment


I am wearing a pair of shoes

They are ugly shoes. Uncomfortable shoes. I get funny looks wearing these…


Added by Morgana (Janet) on January 8, 2016 at 4:10am — 3 Comments

Maintaining a positive attitude ( well trying to anyway)

One of the results about too much time spent on my own is that I can get super sensitive.  I am an extrovert so love to be around people, seeking people out in the way of belonging to organisations, going to meetings, etc. Today a friend of long standing said something really horrible to me.  I know you can catch someone on a bad day and although I wanted to make a remark as hateful as what she said I walked away instead.  I will see what the next encounter brings.  We all have bad days and…


Added by only1sue on January 8, 2016 at 2:28am — 1 Comment

i miss him

well its been around 20 mos. A lot of days i go w/out thinking about my husband or the sadness or i'll just think about him and i won't be hurt by it, but tonight i'm feeling really sad and really scared. I saw a friend of mine who had quit being friends shortly after my husband passed and just recently re-entered my life. He found out he had cancer the week he quit talking to me. Tonight he helped me out of a jam by picking me up from the bar and we went to eat. Frankie,my husband, meant a…


Added by littlelamb on January 8, 2016 at 2:15am — 2 Comments


It seems that there are times when I will piss someone off in Chat and that is okay but it really stems from people showing up asking for help and then just up and disappearing with a explanation of any kind. What gets to me is that members come into chat asking for help and when you try to help them they suddenly disappear as if they and not interested or want to hear what we are offering. There is no bbl or brb or anything and for me that is rude. It makes me feel like they do not care…


Added by Morgana (Janet) on January 7, 2016 at 2:07pm — 7 Comments

Reflections on the First Year on the Anniversary of My Husband’s Death

Today I came across a quote by Marcus Aurelius, “Tomorrow is nothing, today is too late; the good lived yesterday.”  What can he have meant by it?  I can only assume that he lost someone too, as that is how I felt nearly every day for an entire year.  The pain I felt on my husband's death was so intense that I thought the physical stress of it would carry me off as well.  Everything around me looked flat, as if the world itself was changed without his observation of it.  I didn’t sleep, and…


Added by Mary H on January 7, 2016 at 8:56am — No Comments

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