It will be 5 years this March 2020 that I lost my Rock, my partner. Two years in I finally caved and said ok to selling our home and decided to buy a truck and travel trailer that year that I listed the property. So, for 3 months while the property was up for sale I just traveled and it was such a great relief. So here I am coming up on year 5 and realize I am missing him even more and the best medicine has always been travel.
So, if anyone is interested and ready, lets look at…Continue
I've done very little of it, and except for one place that we only went to three times tops, and I always have to set up a picture of Arlene on my phone to get thru it. I have been saying for the last 4 1/2 years that I couldn't see myself eating in our old places (thankfully most have changed hands aren't the same). Today I had this thought that its probably time for me to rip the bandaid off and go to one, or several, depending on how it goes. Just not THIS weekend, Effin V-day. But soon.…Continue
Due to the confusion of the seasons in the past few years, I have decided that seasons are irrelevant. We can have hot and humid days followed by a twenty degree drop in temperature and then grey skies for days. I remember my mother's expression: "It's just s phase we're going through" and I think that explains it. We are simply going through uncertain weather phases. We have taken those good seasons for granted, December warm, January and February hot, sunny days in school holidays for…Continue
I came across a necklace with this simple sentence, Just one more chapter. Immediately I thought sheesh isn't it enough to wear your heart on your sleeve, now it's going to hang around your neck. Of course, widow brain kicks in first, I'm sure it was really meant for book lovers. It made me stop and think how many times I've probably given thought to words spoken, read or even pictures with "widow brain" and had myself into an uproar over nothing.
Never once have I ever since…
It's been exactly 406 days since my Douglas went home..
It seems like it was just yesterday, and at the same time it feels like I haven't seen his handsome face and smile in forever.
First year was a blur of existence for me and I'm grateful for the blur.. It has been a brutal relentless heart ache
Now the loneliness is creeping in.. and the reality of it all
I miss our deep (and not so deep) conversations…Continue
Haven’t written for a while. Always difficult during the holiday season. Just returned from a two week holiday with my daughters. It was a lovely escape after the Christmas rush. But now we are back home and reality strikes when you realise how much I really miss my husband and the girls their dad it is so quiet without him. But life must go on.
Christmas is still hard. Since my late husband passed 4 years ago, I would often go and see his mum and his sisters would often be there. So…Continue
Reluctantly being plunged into a new year without the one and only person who knew me loved unconditionally it feels bitter sweet. No celebrating this year went to bed early hoping to dream of my love. I didnt wanna think about not having him not here to be with us . wishing we had never went to the lake that horrible terrible worse day of our lives. Not just the worse fathers day but the beginning of a start to the first of many horrible days. My sons…Continue
I'm beginning year 3 on my journey of grief. As so many of you predicted it has actually gotten softer. S O F T E R, that was a hard word to understand. I get it now, or at least I'm beginning to. I still love my darling Jerry more than anything however I'm also open to sharing my heart with another. (If another catches my attention and proves he deserves it.) Finally, when I'm asked how I'm doing I can say, "I'm doing okay." and mean it.
So many changes in the last 3 years. …
This christmas when I told my kids to write to santa I sorta knew what their one and only thing they truely wanted for christmas cause it was the only thing I wanted for christmas too. My husband back for them to get to have their dad back and us get to live happily ever after. But sad to say I just like them knew that he was gone and nothing not even santa could bring him back no matter how much we all wished and hoped and…Continue
Added by CryinCali on December 27, 2019 at 4:22pm — No Comments
Well Ladies and Gentlemen some of us just got through out first Christmas and Christmas Eve without our partners. I say to all of us, and to myself too, well done. We may have been a puddle of tears, we may have not been ourselves but the fact remains that we preserved. Honestly it was probably one of the most difficult things I have had to do other than get through this Thanksgiving. I hope everyone can get through New Years eve and day as best they can and I just keep reminding myself…Continue
Sometimes it is such a relief to have Christmas over. For the first time in five years it was family lunch my place for Christmas. Because I was busy volunteering with Lions, selling tickets in the Christmas raffle etc it was hard to find time to shop so I did a combination of gifts and money. Thankfully that went over well, and everything went well with the meal too. I was grateful that my oldest grand daughter remembered how we set up for family gatherings and helped with that. The three…Continue
Added by only1sue on December 25, 2019 at 12:00pm — No Comments
Don’t Look So Sad
He unfolded the note, the last note she ever wrote, and read…..
Don’t look so sad, my darling husband, I know it’s over. But life will go on, and the whole world will just keep right on a turning. Just be glad we had some time to spend together. There’ll be time enough for sadness when I’m gone. So, lay your head upon my pillow, and hold my warm and tender body next to yours, And let's pretend we still have forever………
…….. He stopped there, for he couldn’t…
Ricardo i love u mi amor my heart breaks everyday alil more without u. A lil longer from the last time i saw your beautiful smile your deep dark eyes and your flawless olive skin. How i wish oh how i wish for one more kiss one more touch one more moment of anything with u. I feel lost and lonely like a child that has lost there way home . you ment so much to us .i have been trying my best but i fear so many things for my future without u. This is likec a nightmare that i will never…Continue
Oh baby my sweet husband i scream uuuugggh then one heavy sigh as i look at your beautiful face in all the pictures around the house. I get up and walk to another room as if for a second trying to get away from the saddness and weight of grief i feel weighing on me after times of looking at photos until my mind goes to that unfullfiled future that we had talked about always together even growing old but then that when it happens the feeling of having to get away…
This time of the year is hard for me. We don't have Thanksgiving in Australia, the convicts hauled from England to colonise our country didn't have much to be thankful for. We have summer and school holidays and the run up to Christmas all lumped in together and life gets very busy. Add unseasonable heat and drought and bushfires causing smokey air all over the coast and all the external circumstances and it gets pretty tiring. So sometimes I want it to just be over. December is party…Continue
When I count my blessings true, on this day of thankfulness, and find you there still in my past, I count the memories sweet and true, how I remember you and smile.
I cuddle up next to a warm thought, a memory I find of you, and count my blessings of days gone by, when love was new, and love was true, and danced around within my heart, treasured thoughts I find of you.
It hurts to see you gone, and feel the loss of your sweet love and the pain of losing you, and I'm thankful…Continue
The Essence Of A Name
And Its Unspoken Nature
Sleepless In Seattle captured the heartbreaking essence of widowhood. I was watching it unfold layer by layer the unthinkable loss of widowhood when I signed up with Soaring Spirits. It spoke to me from the sadness of my heart. They said I needed a fictitious name. That was all I could think of at the time. So I became “Sleepless In Seattle” in more ways then I care to be, I became like all of you, the essence of the…Continue
Does anyone out there do homeschooling?Continue
Added by Sleepless In Seattle on November 26, 2019 at 5:58pm — No Comments
Touched When You couldn’t Be Helped
The Velvet Writer
There was a man, who, in the course of time was lost in a crash. He never disappeared nor was he ever found. It seemed as though he had vanished, as though in a fog, but still there, and yet, he just couldn’t be found in his present state of being, he was lost in another place frozen in time. His voice fading in the distance could still be heard drifting nearer than ever. When you looked, he was quite…Continue
Added by Sleepless In Seattle on November 26, 2019 at 5:44pm — No Comments
When Love Dies
When love dies it’s hard to resurrect no matter how many tears you shed to water it.
Ther’s a bittersweet misery in missing someone you’ve lost that’s hard to understand and impossible to explain. It drawls you close while tearing you apart. It’s like confetti coming down on a melancholy moment, celebrating the life you had together, somewhat like snow in the dead of winter, a lifeless time in your life. Your numb, you feel nothing, but every thought…Continue
Added by Sleepless In Seattle on November 23, 2019 at 4:51pm — No Comments