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February 2014 Blog Posts (34)

Valentine's Day - 25 Months Out

Before our big downsizing after Don’s stroke, I collected greeting cards. Fifty years’ worth of collecting went up for auction along with more than half of our possessions and I never started collecting cards again even though the inclination to do so pops its head up from time to time. Of my card collection, I only saved a few things including an old leather suitcase full of Valentines from the 1800’s that came down through Don’s family and an 8” x 10” Valentine's…

Added by Blue Snow on February 12, 2014 at 5:30am — 5 Comments

17 months out

Starting off with a question for those further out than I am.  How did you establish a new routine?  This has been hard for me after being a visitor to Mum for 11 years and full-time caregiver and then nursing home visitor to Ray.  I am 17 months out and I still feel as if I am groping in the dark for a torch to illuminate my path. Just don't know how to find my way forward.

This time of the year (late summer) the days just seem to run into one another, good days, not so good days,…


Added by only1sue on February 11, 2014 at 1:00pm — 4 Comments

Happy Birthday, My Darling Phillip!

Phillip died on January 22nd last year (2013).

Today - yesterday would have been his 54th birthday.  I celebrated it by buying him a birthday card and crying all day.

Just looking at all the photos, of him, of me, of us -…


Added by WhereNow? on February 11, 2014 at 2:28am — 4 Comments

Snowy Memories

I write a lot these days, but I don't share any of it.  I keep them to myself.  I recently had a friend say I should share some of my writings. Good or bad. I've heard I don't allow anyone in to see my pain.  It is true, but what people don't realize, I go through my day in a fog. I really don't have a clue what I am doing right, wrong, what I am sharing not sharing, or saying not saying. I get up (point A) go to work (point B) get home (point C) before I crack from the stress of my new…


Added by IndiaKai on February 10, 2014 at 7:00pm — 2 Comments

The Heroic's of a Wounded Soul

Last Wednesday I went to book club. At sixteen months out I’ve tried to keep this monthly lifeline to the outside world intact, as this is a small but devoted group of friends who have been there for me for over a decade now. As an introvert, I realized early on that it would be all too easy for me to retreat from the world, even the good and supportive parts of it, after John died. Therefore, I have tried to find a balance in the seeking of outside support and being my own support since…


Added by flannery on February 10, 2014 at 9:00am — 3 Comments


It has just been a little over 3 monthes since I lost my husband. I don't seem to be getting over it, as my no sleep has seemed to get worse and worse I just miss him so much all the time. I don't feel like doing anything but sitting and just begging out. I used to love to go into my craft room and scrapbook and he would always come and see what I was doing and it used to irritate me and I so would give anything to have him come and bug me. If I could just sleep better I know I would feel… Continue

Added by Leosadie on February 9, 2014 at 11:15am — 5 Comments


"Scattered pictures,

Of the smiles we left behind

Smiles we gave to one another

For the way we were"

 'The Way We Were" - written by…


Added by hendrixx2 on February 9, 2014 at 3:00am — 4 Comments

My Love

I got up this morning, trying not to think about this day 3 years ago. Oh how I wished I could have known it would be our last day together.

When I went to bed this night 3 years ago, he was quietly sleeping, looking so frail. Not at all the big strong man I knew him to be. We had full confidence he was going to be okay after the surgery and things were improving.

The next morning I woke up to the most terrifying day of my life. The last thing he said was”I am going to pass…


Added by AuntT (Steph) on February 8, 2014 at 7:27am — 5 Comments

Two Scenes, Same Day: Grieving and Parenting

Grieving and Parenting

Two scenes, same day.

I have been a rough patch for a while. The girls have been good. They are upbeat and energized and have even been getting along really well and playing together without screaming or fighting. I hope putting those words to paper didn’t jinx it.  But I am in a rough patch where I have to actively fight sliding into depression. I feel it. I feel the heaviness that makes me want to stay in bed, curl up on the couch and do nothing, say…


Added by MissingRKK on February 7, 2014 at 5:19am — 1 Comment

On My Own-But How?

At fifteen months out from the initial impact of the devastation of my life I sat in the office of a new therapist who asked me straight away, “What are you dreams and goals for your life now that your husband has died?”

I stared blankly, because honestly I didn’t have any, not one. Because as most people who have lost their “person” their “partner” will tell you attempting to cobble a life or even a vision of what you want your life to be after the death of your partner is a…


Added by flannery on February 5, 2014 at 8:21am — 4 Comments

18 Months and back to Day 1

I have wrote about my husband, Steve and how he passed away, yesterday they started Depositions and I spent 4 hours going over our life together 11 years and I did really good until we got to the accident and then the last few days of his life.  Having to tell what happened again and going over the details tore me up.  What got to me worse than anything else was the Doctor was there and it seemed like they did not even care, there was no sign or indication they were even sorry I lost my…


Added by Aeleice on February 5, 2014 at 3:34am — 3 Comments

life simply goes on

I had a busy January so didn't do as much reading as usual. It even included a couple of funerals. I lost so many old friends last year that I seemed permanently sad. I am resolved not to be that way this year. Yes I do miss Ray, no I don't need to say that to everyone I meet now.

I call January "reading month" it is a chance to relax…


Added by only1sue on February 4, 2014 at 12:33pm — 2 Comments


I am stuck. Physically, emotionally, occupationally, domestically. Stuck. Inert.  Muscles frozen, breath tight. Stuck in this body, stuck in this life. Stuck in this house, this town, this region.  I can’t get away from myself.

I keep reading these blog posts about how widows have changed from their loss.  I don’t  feel changed in a good way. I feel removed from where I was and sent to the back of the line.  I feel myself slipping. I was doing pretty well for a while, feeling pretty…


Added by MissingRKK on February 4, 2014 at 9:49am — 3 Comments

1 year down, forever to go

As I sit here, a year after his death, I think of all I have lost without him: his physical presence, his love, his warmth, his hugs, his friendship, his advice, the calmness that no one else but him could make me feel in a frazzled situation, how he would tug at my hands exactly twice as we held hands to cross the street, his scent, his smile, those eyes… any and everything that he was, is what I miss, with every fiber of my being. However, I can also count my blessings: a closer…


Added by Jolie.P on February 2, 2014 at 5:33pm — 4 Comments

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