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February 2016 Blog Posts (21)


Our Bed

Laying here in bed at this time….

I don’t miss your intellect right this minute

I don’t miss your laugh right this minute

I don’t miss your smile right this minute

I don’t miss talking with you right this minute…


Added by Hope on February 28, 2016 at 6:14pm — 3 Comments

Just in my opinion.....

In my opinion, there is no time frame on anything pertaining to grief and how we handle the loss of a loved one.  Just day at the time & we do the best we can until we can do better.

Added by Bj on February 26, 2016 at 3:41pm — 2 Comments


When you walked into my life my whole world changed for the good

The day I fell in love with you was the day my soul lit up

And there was nothing I wanted more than to be with you

And every day was a kind of paradise…


Added by Hope on February 26, 2016 at 3:30pm — 1 Comment

The Music Still Plays

I keep wanting to post on Forums and Blogs. But I don't know how. My husband of 25 years of marriage unexpectedly died on January 27, 2016.He was 52.  This month,26 years ago he proposed. He  told me..we may not have a lot of money, but we will  laugh and love a lot. ..and we did. He Loved Music..we played it all of the time and when the radio wasn't on he had his i pod..or mine.  We have 4 beautiful daughters ;one is 17 the other 3 are 12 1/2 ( yes they are triplets). I am reading and…


Added by ItsOtto on February 25, 2016 at 8:42am — 2 Comments

The Week So Far.....

    Another week closer to the four month mark.   It seems like time should be dragging by but it is going just as fast or faster that it ever has.  I asked a close relative yesterday if it was awful that I was starting to make decisions about my home that my spouse probably wouldn't have been on board for.  This afternoon, a load of crush and run is being delivered for the space in front of the new barns and parking areas that were dug out…


Added by sunfeathers on February 25, 2016 at 5:48am — 3 Comments

Struggling with the transition

Tonight I went to a dinner for an organisation I have belonged to for many years.  I usually sit among the couples but tonight for some reason was surrounded by women.  One of them asked me loudly if I had found myself a man yet, when I said "No" she said: "I thought this year would be good for you because it is Leap Year."  I don't think she meant to be unkind but she certainly was playing it for laughs.  I have known her for many years and wondered if she knew she was being hurtful.  I am…


Added by only1sue on February 25, 2016 at 4:22am — 4 Comments


Lone Pioneer

I am a lone pioneer on a journey I never imagined or wanted

Leaving behind a shared rich experience for a land unknown

This journey is lonely and long and I have no idea in what direction it is leading me

It leads me as I cannot lead it, it calls me wherever and…


Added by Hope on February 24, 2016 at 11:47am — 1 Comment

We didn't need to say goodbye.

Sometimes people seem to feel that it must have been hard for me not to have had the time to say goodbye to my husband Ken. He died so quickly in bed within a matter of minutes and there was no goodbye. It never occurred to me until someone said it. I don't really regret we didn't have a last goodbye. I feel like in our whole life we were so connected and the love was so great that no goodbye or closing comment was necessary. We knew how we felt about each other and never took each other for…


Added by Hope on February 23, 2016 at 2:55pm — No Comments

I am not Ulysses S. Grant :-)

I like music. I am not a fanatic to know every detail of a song, though. Generally I know the tune but seldom know the lyrics. I use music as more of a background while working.

I chose that title because he was tone deaf. He once said "I know only two tunes: one of them is 'Yankee Doodle', and the other isn't. That always makes me laugh.

I had been hearing a particular song for a while, several months at least. It sounded kind of sad and I…


Added by DavidB on February 20, 2016 at 6:49pm — 3 Comments

Remember Your Story

I met my wife Laura when she was a 17 year old farm girl from Upstate New York. Her life evolved from milking cows to working for a Silicon Valley tech company. Over the years she grew in beauty, maturity, sophistication and worldliness. She evolved in her spiritual maturity to understand more of who she really was.

Seventeen years after initially meeting her, we got married. Our lives together were full of adventure, self discovery, spiritual growth, family, work and travel.…


Added by Preblehiker on February 16, 2016 at 1:55pm — 3 Comments

Paperwork, if I ever get caught up.....

     Usually, I am a pretty organized person.  I devised a household bookkeeping method years ago that , if kept up with, made tax time much less of a headache.  I should mention that my beloved was happy to let me handle filing our joint return.  I always laughed when I told him that he only cared about the yellow sticky note I gave him every year showing how much of a refund we were getting. I will miss that ritual…


Added by sunfeathers on February 16, 2016 at 5:47am — No Comments

Survived My First Valentine's Day Since

      I thank God everyday for my children.   They have been so incredibly strong for me and the love I have for them is so deep that words are inadequate and pale.   Thanks to them, Valentine's Day weekend was not only bearable but actually enjoyable.   Saturday was spent in the North Carolina Mountains, antiquing and having lunch, then pizza and a movie that night.  Valentine's Day was spent being…


Added by sunfeathers on February 15, 2016 at 4:54am — 2 Comments

An Unexpected "Gift"

Did you ever have a day so bad, you just feel like "crying in your beer"? This is not due to grief but is kind of related, if he were still here, these things would not happen. Plumbing problems. Have several and looking for a good plumber right now. Well, this AM while I was still half asleep, heard what sounded like a small explosion of sort. Also, a metal scraping sound. When I went around surveying this morning, all I found was my snow shovel lying in front of my car. That's strange, I… Continue

Added by Callie2 on February 14, 2016 at 11:23am — 1 Comment

The Unknown Journey, 3 Months, 4 Days In

    Ok, here's my story:  Just having celebrated our 35th wedding anniversary, I lost my love, my best friend, my soulmate, my lifebonded partner three days before his 56th birthday in November.   In seven months, we went from everything looking good and in the clear to losing him from metastasized colon cancer. Our son got married in November and my beloved lasted until the day after the wedding,…


Added by sunfeathers on February 14, 2016 at 7:14am — 2 Comments

The Barbs and Cortege of Memories

February 14th 2016 is Valentines Day for all of us. For Donna it would have been her 64th trip around the Sun. This annual sojourn of circling the Sun ended in 2011. Yet her ashes and memories continue to race through my personal solar system. “All we are is what we leave behind." I am left behind, your memory is not.…


Added by Mark99 on February 10, 2016 at 1:56pm — 1 Comment

A Hazy Shade Of Winter

Barb died in September 2015.  But I didn't just lose my wife.  When she lost her life, I lost my own life too.  

Over-dramatic?  Not so much.

She WAS my life.  And not only her, but her family and friends.  Her conversations.  Her thoughts.  

Hey, now I really believe it where the Bible says "The Two Shall Be As One".  

I can't go to any of our former friends or her family and just call and talk or visit.  They have all moved on.  They were really close to Barb.…


Added by Jere-Nine on February 7, 2016 at 9:30am — 6 Comments

Feeling lost

Waking up everyday and having to face life without my love is becoming more difficult everyday. How do people do this? All I wanna do is talk to him, hold him, kiss him. People just don't seem to understand I just lost my other half. Even though we had problems neer the end the good times were so good. I know I need to go through this and feel all these emotions, but I wish I could just turn them off.

Added by Lonely and lost on February 6, 2016 at 12:47pm — 6 Comments

Fourth Sadiversary on Widowhood Lane

My mom died on Easter thirty-two years ago, my dad died on Christmas fifteen years ago and my husband passed away four years ago the middle of Janurary. With Mom and Dad’s deaths both falling on holidays it’s impossible to let their sadiversaries slide by without thinking about them. With Don’s I get through the holidays before the anticipation of his sadiversary gets kick-started on New Year’s Day. Even though he died on a nondescript day in the middle of a nondescript month I doubt I’ll…

Added by Blue Snow on February 6, 2016 at 5:00am — 3 Comments

Is this real?

Coming up on 8 months since my wife passed (16th). I guess I am adjusting somewhat. We have to, we can't live in the same spot emotionally. Life has to go on even as difficult as it can be sometimes.

I am trying to rebuild my business and that keeps me busy, when I can stay focused. Priorities changed after Linda became sick 4 years ago and I lost a lot of clients. I have no regrets of that. I wanted to spend every possible moment I could with her. We knew from the start there…


Added by DavidB on February 5, 2016 at 7:00pm — 1 Comment

Losing myself in a time warp

 I am getting to the stage now when I remember not the rough and tumble of life of how my marriage really was but more the images of perfection. I think this is a dangerous time as it idealizes the person we have lost and makes it impossible to find another partner.  And I do want at least a chance of having another partner.  I know now I can't find a partner that was all the things Ray WAS.  I mean the…


Added by only1sue on February 5, 2016 at 6:30pm — 3 Comments

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