Hi everyone, it is awhile since I posted. I have just gotten through the 1st anniversary of my husbands death. It was a very sad day but not as bad as I thought it would be. I went out with a friend who had lost her husband 18months before I lost mine. We went to a movie and then went to his favourite Thai restaurant for lunch, i had a glass of wine to toast him as he loved a glass of wine. My family and friends all posted lovely messages on facebook and my beautiful granddaughter sent me a…

Tomorrow, Feb. 17th, will mark 4 years since my husband's death. That was the last "normal" day of my life.  I died that evening too, and can't seem to come back to life.

I met my husband when I was 16, married at 18, and was 64 when he died.  So we were together for 48 years.  He was my first and only love.  He died in an instant from a blood clot to the heart.  He was a strong, healthy man who loved life.  I…

I thought I was doing better. I survived ,Thanksgiving, Christmas was disappointing, and I made it through January 1st. I am into February and I am having the hardest time since last May. I had to go to the Dr. and get more medication. I am so angry. I am not angry at my husband. I am angry at people. Everyone that gets in my way. People sincerely annoy me. I have been trying to close on a house. The only thing I needed was a deposit from my military pay. I gave it to them on the 1st of…

Sometimes I am just plain lonely. I might do something in the morning, come home and do a few simple tasks, cook a meal and wham! there it is, the loneliness,it comes rolling in like a wave. It affects me more on Friday nights and Sunday nights, those were the debriefing times when Ray and I had good health. Friday nights we would discuss what we had done through the week and Sunday nights we would talk about what happened over the weekend. I was thinking about that tonight,  without  a…