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Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

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All Blog Posts (4,460)

Loneliness

I haven't written here in quite a while. I have been dealing with the loss of my husband through the waves that hit me sometimes with knowing and sometimes without. It's a struggle day to day to move on and realize that my life does have meaning. Now my worst are the fears and anxiety that builds in me. I am so lonely for companionship. I know to some, this is wrong, but I can't help it. I want and need to feel alive again. The loneliness kills me deeply. I went on dating apps…

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Added by AandC on May 31, 2020 at 4:06am — 4 Comments

Not the Plan

As a family we all enjoyed sitting together on Wednesday evenings and Watching Modern Family.  There was one particular episode in which the Claire, Phil and the kids were out with an old car and the car starts rolling down this big hill and Claire yells to Phil, "What's the plan Phil?"  After that episode the kids would repeat that line to their father countless times.... what's the plan Tom.... not once did in our wildest dreams think that this was the plan, because it wasn't, it isn't.…

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Added by TeresaNY on May 29, 2020 at 4:45am — 4 Comments

The Loss

I speak

but no one hears

If in a dream

I scream

though no sound comes out


My head below the surface

of a water so deep

Comfort lies

in the deception

of an imposed silence

This second language

so painful to learn

I stumble on my words

that many will not hear

and few will understand

Added by Tess on May 27, 2020 at 6:00am — No Comments

More in control

It is raining the cold rain of winter. The weather changed last week, before that it was warm days, cool nights but now the nights are really cold. Yesterday afternoon I spent two hours looking for my hot water bottle. I knew it was in a blue, green and yellow cover I had knitted myself. When I finally found it it was in a bright pink cover on which the words "I'm a Hottie" were written in a bold black. This was a jokey gift from my son-in-law for my birthday last year. Now how did I miss…

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Added by only1sue on May 24, 2020 at 7:00pm — No Comments

Its anniversary season

Arlene's birthday was 2 weeks ago, the first half of June brings the Strokaversary, the deathaversary and our anniversery of the day we met. So what happened yesterday, just to pile on? I had my job eliminated. 

Added by Don on May 20, 2020 at 2:16pm — 3 Comments

Grief waves

I've always found this to be the perfect explanation of grief waves.

http://allthroughthestorm.blogspot.com/2017/08/grief-is-like-shipwreck.html

Added by Don on May 7, 2020 at 10:42am — 3 Comments

Niki from Florida

I lost my husband Feb 1. My grandson saw him have the heart attack. He had COPD for many years and was diagnosed  with heart failure  in Nov. He went  downhill  so quickly.  He had a valve that was regurgitating and nothing they could do.  He could not eat, drink, he lost weight like crazy. He never lost his mind....always sharp. I am 52, he was 69. We met in church.  We were best friends  before we ever dated. In fact I became a Christian  at that church.  I…

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Added by Green Machine on April 29, 2020 at 6:13am — 2 Comments

Self isolating.

I have been self isolating for over six weeks. Yesterday I heard someone complain she had been home from work for two weeks. I guess that is the difference between being young and being old. I see the sense in self isolating if the over 70s seem to be the target group for this virus but it is hard for a socially minded person like me to be held to ransome by this situation, my isolation for the good of my health. I feel as if I am being robbed of something special. I think it is a common…

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Added by only1sue on April 29, 2020 at 12:23am — 7 Comments

Silent Tears again

      This morning while doing my norm, having coffee talking to friends, reading over the FB happenings.  I found my eyes leaking. I wiped away the first few teardrops but they just kept coming.  To my shock, I realized I was crying big silent tears.  Why?  I had to search myself for a reason, I'd like to say I was crying real grief tears because then I'd…

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Added by Rainy (Misty) on April 27, 2020 at 11:08am — 3 Comments

Sadly celebrating 11th No-nniversary

    Eleven years yesterday my beloved and i would have celebrated being married for 11 years.!  As i think feeling gutted as i do that i wanted; wait no;  The kids and i needed at least 10 more years forsure at the very very least, but then on the other hand, i think well at least we had those 10years, begrudgingly though, i really wanted at least 50 more... And then i think about the kids and how i have been lucky to have both of my parents still to this day and how i couldnt imagine my…

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Added by CryinCali on April 25, 2020 at 8:16pm — No Comments

Tendrils of Grief Podcast

I love podcasts and enjoy listening to anything positive and uplifting. While I was grieving I couldn’t find any meaningful podcast on grief. I was looking for something real and relevant that would provide me with practical advice on how to get through the fog of my grief. I decided as part of my healing and grief journey to start my own podcast. This isn’t a venture to make money but to help other grievers find useful tips.  The podcast consist of interviews with other grievers and grief…

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Added by Weemunk on April 14, 2020 at 9:55am — 6 Comments

Can never forget

Everyday I wake up to be in this nightmare of a life that is not one that I want to be in,  instead of this nightmare being when I sleep it exists while I am awake where I  remember you are no longer with me and I need to navigate this by myself.   At night, I have the possibility of dreaming with you, hugging you and kissing you the way it should be when I am awake but it is not.   I keep wondering when will this life feel different one day, will I be able to move on or is this what my new…

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Added by Shugarts on April 9, 2020 at 12:16pm — No Comments

Sadness

She knew that a bay and rocks and trees bending over the surf cannot relieve sadness---can sadness be relieved, or can one only pass it by very slowly?

A day in the radiant sunlight and the sky’s blue, in the shadow of a proud dark sail, over rustling waves, along new coastlines, wouldn’t that help to get past sadness?---for a while, for that one day at least.

Maria Dermoût --- The Ten Thousand Things

Added by pricytapestry on April 3, 2020 at 6:30am — No Comments

Quieting Our Inner Critics in the Time of Quarantine.

With the current crazy times, I'm trying to blog a few times a week. Here's my latest (My first in along time) about trying not fall into self-doubt while having more time alone. Take care. http://www.thehungoverwidow.com/our-inner-critics-in-the-time-of-quarantine/.

Added by The Hungover Widow on April 1, 2020 at 12:15pm — No Comments

My "after" blog

Has the world gone mad? My last blog was only two weeks ago and I was reminiscing about my cruise telling you my operation was coming up and resting up so I would be fit for whatever lay ahead. Well was I the innocent one? I never imagined the mess of life as we know it that a tiny international visitor called Covid-19 would make to our lives. Who would have thought that from remote China it could spread around the world so quickly and so plunge the world into chaos? It wasn't in the news…

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Added by only1sue on March 28, 2020 at 3:29am — 6 Comments

And So It Begins...

The flowers from the funeral are just about dead. All of the out of town relatives have left. The food that people brought over is just about gone or ready to be thrown out. The phone doesn't ring that much. Not very many texts coming in. No more sympathy cards in the mail. Tomorrow will be two weeks since my partner of 15 years, John, died of what is assumed to be a massive heart attack. He was already gone by the time I found him.  He was 54 years old. The last two weeks have been a blur.…

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Added by Impala Princess on March 22, 2020 at 6:41pm — No Comments

My "before" blog.

I am thankful I went on my cruise before the cruise companies decided to cancel future cruises for six weeks or more. I could have missed that time of exploration and relaxation. I am having another operation next week so I thought I would do a "before" blog and an "after"blog. I am feeling fine, I went to my doctor today and all of the conditions he was worried about have  marginally improved so he was no longer anxious to get me on all sorts of medication. This is good as at the beginning…

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Added by only1sue on March 12, 2020 at 9:00pm — 5 Comments

The Couple in The Picture

I look at a picture taken for church in 2013 and I see this woman in the photo. She looks familiar; a distant memory of someone I once knew comes to mind. She is so happy, and her eyes are lit up like the beautiful stars of the heavens in an evening sky where all you can see is their brilliance, their amazing bright twinkle. How lucky that woman is, how very lucky. And I think to myself what I would give to be her and have that love that is so vibrantly shown in the smiles of…

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Added by Gypsy on March 8, 2020 at 12:00pm — 1 Comment

2020 Travel

It will be 5 years this March 2020 that I lost my Rock, my partner. Two years in I finally caved and said ok to selling our home and decided to buy a truck and travel trailer that year that I listed the property. So, for 3 months while the property was up for sale I just traveled and it was such a great relief. So here I am coming up on year 5 and realize I am missing him even more and the best medicine has always been travel. 

So, if anyone is interested and ready, lets look at…

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Added by Gypsy on February 15, 2020 at 9:17pm — 2 Comments

Eating in restaurants alone

I've done very little of it, and except for one place that we only went to three times tops, and I always have to set up a picture of Arlene on my phone to get thru it. I have been saying for the last 4 1/2 years that I couldn't see myself eating in our old places (thankfully most have changed hands aren't the same). Today I had this thought that its probably time for me to rip the bandaid off and go to one, or several, depending on how it goes. Just not THIS weekend, Effin V-day. But soon.…

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Added by Don on February 12, 2020 at 12:58pm — 8 Comments

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