My Roses This is a review worth reading
March 07, 2014
Carl Steinbaum was diagnosed with Stage 4 colon cancer in December 1995 and died 10 months later. He was 58 and left behind his wife, Ellen, and their three daughters. College sweethearts, the couple married when she was 20 and he 24.
I would like to share with everyone two novels that my husband had written and published on Smashwords in December 2012. Jim was very proud of his writing and the two novels he created. When I was…
Judy, Alex and Cornelius Roeland
It was over 24 years ago that I first laid eyes on Judy, I was with friends at a nightclub in NYC Emerald City. I saw a girl that I knew Valerie, she said hello and she told me who she was with, as she looked over her shoulder there was Judy! She had a small wall in front of her, she was wearing a white halter top and I was immediately drawn to her. I said to Val, “hook me up she is cute” I remember Valerie’s exact words, yea she is cute, you too…Continue
Tonight I sit here on my one month anniversary of my new marriage. My life is wonderful right now but it was a long time coming to this point. Life is hard and we aren't promised smooth waters but I never could have imagined the depth of grief or loss that I experienced with losing my husband Don almost 4 years ago. It has been a journey that has changed me forever. It isn't over - I believe our grieving is forever , just the intensity changes, eases, but our loss is always present. I…Continue
I don't know where to begin or how to just open up and talk to anyone about what has happened to me. This is a deeply personal time and it drains every bit of strength I have in me just to speak the words that hes gone. Yet I have had to say them over and again. They could be in a response to a question or just in my mind. I still struggle to accept what has happened. Don't get me wrong, my mind knows but my stubborn heart keeps telling me he is still here. There is a part of me…Continue
I seem to be going along just fine and then something tips me over into grief again. I think it is the approaching St Patricks' Day which was always celebrated as my father's birthday. Dad died in 2000 but somehow he is always here with me. One reason is because I didn't have time to grieve his death as I was still caring for Mum with Dementia and Ray with brain damage and lots of deficits from multiple strokes so it was bury Dad and get on with life. No time to grieve. Too many things…Continue
It's been nine months since Dan died. Time has truly flown.
It's spring again in the midwestern part of the USA. At least the calendar says it's spring in five more days. Hopefully the weather stays as nice as it has been for the last couple of days. We've had such a bad cold, snowy, LONG winter. It could be worse, I could live in the northern states or the eastern states.
I'm doing very well. I'm still going through "stuff" and trying to decide what to keep, what to…Continue
I signed up on Widowed Village some time ago but have yet to participate. So today I thought I'd share something I wrote a while ago. I'm now approaching 18 months since my wife Jackie died (10/1/12). I originally wrote this at almost 3 months (12/22/12). Obviously life has changed since then. I probably wouldn't write this the same way again but here it is...
I found this blog (…Continue
Special Dates can stir up difficult memories. As time goes by, it is possible to choose new ways of noticing the day and honouring the memory of your partner.
Here are a few that I practice or have seen. Let these…Continue
Another day without you, A day without my love another day with you not here… with you, above.
Each day I wake up sleepy, and roll to see your side empty as my heart, since the day that you died.
Each day I must wake, and face the brand new day Just to realize once again, that you've gone away.
It’s often just too painful and more than I can bear to face the world alone, for we are no longer a pair.
My partner in love, my partner in life, we…
A beautiful video about the power of being able to grieve with others.
"We try to protect ourselves by not allowing our hearts to be broken. But a broken heart is not the end of anything. It’s the beginning of everything"
I was asked yesterday to look through Brennan's paperwork. We are currently dealing with the estate and I was tasked to find anything that was related. I really knew nothing about his finances. What RSP's or investments he had. We had only just gotten married. I thought we had forever to go through those things, get life insurance, write or re-write wills...guess not. So I began my job in the office searching through papers. I found myself 4 hours later on the floor in tears after I had…Continue
I’m floating down this river
Where it’s taking me I just don’t know
Sometimes I feel like I am using the oars
Somewhat controlling where this is all going
Other times I feel like I don’t have much control at all
Hitting the rapids at times
They can be pretty rough
But usually trusting in the journey
And wondering where it is leading to
I feel stuck... and yet restless. There is a part of me that wants to go out and get busy and be more productive and then there is that other part that wants to protect myself. Stay cocooned and surround myself with peace and tranquility. The uncomfortable truth is that I feel I sacrificed enough. I've given up enough. I've given away enough of myself over my lifetime. And I'm tired of giving myself away.
Before meeting Edd I gave myself away in a 20-year marriage that…Continue
I am finally starting a long overdue clean up. I need to move boxes out of the cabin up the back and now have space in the garage to store them temporarily. I filled the 3 cubic meter skip and that went on Wednesday so it is pile the rubbish up and store it until I get another one at the end of the month.
It is so hard to throw away…Continue
I always was awed by how Liam Neeson kept working on film after film after his wife's sudden death in a skiing accident 5 years ago. After I lost my husband 6 months ago in an accident, I realized how he can do that...we just try to keep ourselves busy to not wallow in pain all the time...successful career and money are just bi-products of all the hard work. He confirms that thought and shares much more of his grief journey in this interview:…Continue
Added by Asha on March 4, 2014 at 7:58pm — No Comments
March 4, 2012 was the last day of my old, normal, life.
It was a Sunday.
We went to Target so Patrick could walk around for a little while (no where in this town is flat, so we walked around the stores to get his walking in). Then we started our spring cleaning. Little did I know that spring cleaning was going to take me over a year to finish because I couldn't bare to get rid of the piles, but I couldn't bare to go through them to put them away either. …Continue