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March 2016 Blog Posts (33)

Limiting time on the pity pot

Having a bit of a cry tonight.  I have home hosted three people over the last five weeks, my third cousin and her cousin on her mother's side (for two weeks) and his wife who stayed on.  The two women spent a lot of time talking about their relationships, one with a husband the other with a partner of 20 years plus.  It is hard to listen when I now have nothing to contribute to the conversation. Tonight it…

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Added by only1sue on March 13, 2016 at 12:00pm — 5 Comments

Four Years and counting...

Forgive me if I seem a bit distracted tomorrow.  You see it's my anniversary of sorts...the sort other widowed people know and wish they didn't.  

You've been on my mind lately and I knew it was approaching...consciously or unconsciously the mind remembers and has ways of reminding me when I need to slow down and allow the memories to wash over me.  I stopped fighting the process a long time ago, it only makes it worse for me I found.  So I sit quietly, alone, welcoming whatever…

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Added by chez2all on March 13, 2016 at 4:55am — 2 Comments

FLOWER POWER

flowers.JPG      Five years ago as I began this journey I started keeping fresh flowers in my home.  I had lost the most important element that made a house a home. I had lost my bride. Now I had given her flowers on those usual occasions and we would have fresh flowers on…

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Added by katpilot on March 12, 2016 at 5:43am — 1 Comment

A TRUNK OF AFFECTION

A TRUNK OF AFFECTION

I went through the old trunk today

Filled with cards and letters

That you and I wrote each other

Anniversary, birthday, Valentine’s Day and Christmas

And some written as spur of the moment spontaneous…

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Added by Hope on March 10, 2016 at 4:00pm — 1 Comment

A HINT OF RESURRECTION

A HINT OF RESURRECTION

 

The first signs of spring are beginning to bring life to what feels barren

The robins have returned and the red winged blackbirds

I hear bird songs I have not heard since last year

And while they used to greet my…

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Added by Hope on March 8, 2016 at 4:47am — No Comments

Empty Days

A while back I was able to write my feelings and emotions, my thoughts, my sadness.....on here some but on a FB site and in a journal.

I have been feeling very lost for 4 or 6 weeks or so.....probably longer. I am actually forcing myself to type this in tonight. I just have felt empty and no urge to express or communicate.

I do have a couple friends that are very supportive. One is a widow, about the same length of time as me, that is an old school acquaintance. I was…

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Added by DavidB on March 7, 2016 at 8:39pm — 2 Comments

Starting a new journal today

I'm starting a new journal today.  I've been journaling for over 8 years.  My grieving didn't start when my husband died, it started when his sickness took over his body.  All of my thoughts, dreams, anxieties get recorded.  Sometimes I write letters to express to some what I can't in person.  But these journals have been my safety net.  I have fancy ones, but this month just a plain red one without any pictures on front or any inspirational words…

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Added by djunclerell on March 6, 2016 at 8:00pm — 3 Comments

Oh Sheryl Sandberg, what have you done?

So it's apparently "news" that Sheryl Sandberg, Facebook's COO, may be dating less than a year after her husband's death.  Really?  Why is that any of our business?  And why on earth are people being so judgmental in their comments?  This is her life. She does not need your permission to date nor does she need…

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Added by Dianne in Nevada on March 6, 2016 at 7:59pm — 3 Comments

first time out

Not sure how this works, but here goes.  It'll be 11 months on Friday.  I'm still struggling so.  I have good days, but when I do something brings me down, or I feel guilty that the day is going well.  I'll hear a song on the radio or I'll see an old couple at work and just think about how we would have been an awesome old couple.  It's hard for me to do the basic day to day stuff, I don't know if I'm being lazy or what.  Laundry, dishes, cooking, it just piles and piles.  A few weeks ago I…

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Added by kte on March 6, 2016 at 7:58pm — 4 Comments

YES I AM MAD AND I AM SAYING IT!

YES, I AM MAD!

I am not beating a pillow today

I did that yesterday

I am not screaming and cursing

I did that yesterday

But I will tell you I am still mad

Raging from my innermost being

It rises up in my consciousness and…

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Added by Hope on March 5, 2016 at 5:52am — 1 Comment

ANGST ANGER AND RAGE

ANGST, ANGER AND RAGE

I didn’t know I was angry

Anger was never in my DNA

It was something I avoided all my life

And so I had been burying myself in sadness

Over his dying and leaving

And then one morning it hit me

This is…

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Added by Hope on March 5, 2016 at 5:35am — No Comments

FROM A DISTANCE

From a distance I can see a different side to death

Because from a distance I realize that all of life is transient

And that God’s universe is far greater than anything I can imagine

My darling lives in the vastness of the cosmos now

And yet the miracle of that is that he also lives here…

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Added by Hope on March 2, 2016 at 9:16am — No Comments

WANTING TO DIE OR DYING TO LIVE?

WANTING TO DIE or DYING TO LIVE?

I don’t want to die although

I have often proclaimed in my grief “I want to die”

Because the deep pain seems to wash over me relentlessly

Bruising my heart with the unbearable knowledge that he is gone

Day…

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Added by Hope on March 1, 2016 at 8:37am — 3 Comments

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