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April 2014 Blog Posts (39)

Reactions to Loss

 I just ran into someone I know who I haven't seen in a few years. During that time I met the love of my life, got married, and became a widow. Surely she had heard about these life events as we have many of the same acquaintances and I keep in touch with her sister. She immediately went into a series of questions about everything under the sun excluding any mention of my husband. She even went as far as to ask me where I got my ring, which is my wedding ring that I now wear on the right…

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Added by TracyB on April 12, 2014 at 7:02pm — 5 Comments

Drewlady/Confident Widow "You cannot change the wind but you can adjust the sails."

Hello All.

Very sad news.  My mother Mary Louise Harrod Washington  died Sunday April 6 at age 82. Long 10 year battle with Alz dementia and later end stage heart failure .  Sunday March 30 she received last Rites for the third time in her life.Two hours before she died her best friend and sister in law with Alz dementia and end stage kidney failure Doris, also was admitted to the same hospice.

Needless to say I am barely sleeping and besides the Bible, I have been reading…

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Added by Drewlady on April 11, 2014 at 6:07am — 5 Comments

Why don't widows wear black?

I've been reading an article on Queen Victoria, who when her beloved consort Prince Albert died closed Parliament for five years, dressed herself in black and mourned for the rest of her life.  I assume she had good and bad days after a while as we all do but she went on honouring her late husband by emphasizing her widowhood. Let's face it, if we did that we would be laughed out of town.

There doesn't seem to be a lot of ways in our society that we honour our widows.  We do honour…

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Added by only1sue on April 9, 2014 at 1:58pm — 4 Comments

Trail-running the stars

April. Said with a long inhale and a deeply exhaled sigh of relief, of respite.

It is April and finally I am free of anniversaries and holidays. One month of freedom before our wedding anniversary (no.13) and the second anniversary of Ron’s death. I don’t want to remember what happened in April and do I really have…

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Added by MissingRKK on April 9, 2014 at 11:38am — 9 Comments

The Underestimated Cider-Heap a/k/a The Second Act

I was driving to work last week, weaving along the lightly traveled highway I choose over the interstate each day, marveling at the way an early spring fog brought beauty and mystery to an average morning. The trees were still bare, and a thin veil of frost covered the ground which brought the Robert Frost poem, After Apple-Picking to mind.

The line about the apples that fell repeated over and over in my mind.

Those that struck the earth, no matter if not…

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Added by flannery on April 8, 2014 at 9:30am — 5 Comments

Life is suck!!!

Again, life is suck. I must start packing suitcases to fly back to Australia next Tuesday. Starting little by little everyday. Today I got suitcase out, still have stuff in it as I didn't take things out all yet. Bloody hell, our wedding cards, Valentine, Bday cards in there. Hit me hard.

I am now laying in empty room, looking at the ceiling thinking why the hell it happened to us??? Johns service will be on April 27. Suck!!! I should think of eulogy too. First time I know that word,… Continue

Added by Hanh on April 8, 2014 at 5:06am — 8 Comments

Feeling proud!

5 weeks, 4 days since my husband John died. I have never felt so alone in this world as I feel right now. To have amazing love and lost it, suck!!!

Today I pushed myself to turn on our laptop to compose an email for the Australian Immigration. They asked me to email them on my visa requirement. In my head, when it comes to Immigration, John is the one who helps me solve it. Check again, well, only me in this room, John is gone, his stuff is here, but John is gone. What the hell I am gonna… Continue

Added by Hanh on April 7, 2014 at 4:54am — 5 Comments

scared

Feeling scared. I'm homeless right now staying at my husband's cousin's house. I just can't function beyond going to work. A part time job at that. I have so much I need to do but I just can't. Not having a roof over my head and missing Nick is just too much.



Also realized I don't even know how to be single or alone. I met Nick when I was 19 and was with him ever since. Before him I was in 1 long term relationship for all 4 years of highschool. I don't know how to live alone. What to… Continue

Added by Frozen_Rose on April 6, 2014 at 8:00pm — 2 Comments

plod, plod, plod

"How are you doing?" so many kind people ask me that.  "Okay," I reply,"a little sad sometimes."  It is like describing the iceberg the Titanic hit as an ice block...something like the truth.

How am I really doing?  Okay - as long as everything goes well.  I can just get on with my life now, do the things that need doing.  If I know I cannot do something I know now to get someone in to help.  That is fine most of the time.  Now I don't go to pieces any time there is a crisis, I do try…

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Added by only1sue on April 5, 2014 at 9:00pm — 1 Comment

How to Handle a Conversation that References Your Late Husband

"Hello, how are you doing?"

I just love it when I speak to my parents. They are in their seventies and eighties and I can hear it in their voices the happiness they feel when I call. Not that they do not have the same happiness with my other siblings but since I live over four hundred miles away, I really believe that their emotions (as well as mine) are a bit "turned-up" a bit…

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Added by Sabra on April 5, 2014 at 5:00pm — 4 Comments

Vigil May 2012

When I first listened to the song "lullaby" by the group "the Tenors"  It brought back a ton of emotions related to my last hours with my beloved Wayne. 



What follows are my thoughts as best I…
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Added by Patience (Diane) on April 3, 2014 at 8:00pm — 6 Comments

On Letting Go

This week my therapist bluntly asked me, “Are you having a hard time letting go?” I cringed at the words, they sound so harsh and cold and unfeeling. This was John! This was my life! This was great love! And I have been working so hard, so hard to heal, to acknowledge reality, and so yes in many ways I have been working hard I suppose to “let go” of a life, a beautiful life, that isn’t coming back to me. As I opened my mouth to respond all that came out was silence and then tears as I bobbed…

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Added by flannery on April 3, 2014 at 9:00am — 14 Comments

5 weeks without my honey John

What can I say? It sucks!!!! Life without you is suck. Hang on, I can't say this is a LIFE. I am not living, just existing, so it can't be called life. Life was John and Hanh, together as husband and wife, cooked together, ate together, went to picnic together, slept together, talked to each other, argued to each other, understood each other... This is not our plan. John didn't want to leave me alone in this life with all unsolved problem, after married 7 months. So why John had to… Continue

Added by Hanh on April 3, 2014 at 2:31am — 2 Comments

Attempting a night out

(This was an entry I wrote out in the end of January 2014. I find in comical now, but I was so pretty mad when I wrote it out. )

I got a call from my best friend to please come with her and her husband to a company 50th birthday gathering.  She didn't want to sit by herself at the function and her husband would be busy with coworkers.  So, hesitantly, I agreed. Most of the night was easy.  Light conversation with people at the table we shared.  Later in the evening, after…

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Added by IndiaKai on April 2, 2014 at 10:30am — 2 Comments

Oasis and my first son.

Craig, my husband would be so very proud of our boy. 

Jack is 2.5 years old and he's the coolest kid.  Craig's been gone for 2.5 years.

Craig, my Chitty, would be so very proud of me.  His Smitty.

I've found love again.  A man who needed me as much as I needed him.  And his girls,…

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Added by smit09 on April 2, 2014 at 9:00am — 1 Comment

Hard start to a month.

      No matter how positive you try to be, bad days sneak in. I've having a hard start to this month and no matter how hard I try I just can't pull myself out. Today it was the 2nd anniversary of my BIL committing suicide in my husbands car just 7 months after my husbands passing. On top of that it's my Fathers Birthday on the 4th after just losing him on Feb. 17th. On May 14th it will be the 3rd anniversary of my husbands passing, and the day after that the one year anniversary of my best…

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Added by Lisa (lost) Lamb on April 1, 2014 at 8:41pm — 1 Comment

Is the second year harder than the first?

lifeafterwidowhood.wordpress.com  (This is my url. I have many entries in chronological order. I started the blog in January 2014.)

About a year after Tom died, I felt a bit of relief from grieving. It was my goal to get through that first year, thinking I'd feel better afterward. Well, I felt the weight of the sadness lift and, shortly after, embarked on a few adventures out of my comfort zone.

Initially, this felt good, and I…

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Added by lifeafterwidowhood on April 1, 2014 at 8:31am — 2 Comments

How I Met Your Mother - Finale

That was a tough one to watch...

Added by Mac on April 1, 2014 at 5:41am — No Comments

Everyday

Everyday is so bloody hard for me. Waking up is hard, waking up seeing the empty side, John is not here for me anymore to hold. I used to wake up and hold him on the back, kiss him and hug him so tight. Used to say good morning honey to him n we kiss... Why now nothing like that anymore?

I let you go, and next thing I know was you died, due to accident. The thing that I scared the most since we got back to Vietnam. Stupid me to let you go, you said you only wanted some space, you would be… Continue

Added by Hanh on April 1, 2014 at 3:57am — No Comments

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