I just ran into someone I know who I haven't seen in a few years. During that time I met the love of my life, got married, and became a widow. Surely she had heard about these life events as we have many of the same acquaintances and I keep in touch with her sister. She immediately went into a series of questions about everything under the sun excluding any mention of my husband. She even went as far as to ask me where I got my ring, which is my wedding ring that I now wear on the right…Continue
Very sad news. My mother Mary Louise Harrod Washington died Sunday April 6 at age 82. Long 10 year battle with Alz dementia and later end stage heart failure . Sunday March 30 she received last Rites for the third time in her life.Two hours before she died her best friend and sister in law with Alz dementia and end stage kidney failure Doris, also was admitted to the same hospice.
Needless to say I am barely sleeping and besides the Bible, I have been reading…Continue
I've been reading an article on Queen Victoria, who when her beloved consort Prince Albert died closed Parliament for five years, dressed herself in black and mourned for the rest of her life. I assume she had good and bad days after a while as we all do but she went on honouring her late husband by emphasizing her widowhood. Let's face it, if we did that we would be laughed out of town.
There doesn't seem to be a lot of ways in our society that we honour our widows. We do honour…Continue
April. Said with a long inhale and a deeply exhaled sigh of relief, of respite.
It is April and finally I am free of anniversaries and holidays. One month of freedom before our wedding anniversary (no.13) and the second anniversary of Ron’s death. I don’t want to remember what happened in April and do I really have…
I was driving to work last week, weaving along the lightly traveled highway I choose over the interstate each day, marveling at the way an early spring fog brought beauty and mystery to an average morning. The trees were still bare, and a thin veil of frost covered the ground which brought the Robert Frost poem, After Apple-Picking to mind.
The line about the apples that fell repeated over and over in my mind.
“Those that struck the earth, no matter if not…Continue
"How are you doing?" so many kind people ask me that. "Okay," I reply,"a little sad sometimes." It is like describing the iceberg the Titanic hit as an ice block...something like the truth.
How am I really doing? Okay - as long as everything goes well. I can just get on with my life now, do the things that need doing. If I know I cannot do something I know now to get someone in to help. That is fine most of the time. Now I don't go to pieces any time there is a crisis, I do try…Continue
"Hello, how are you doing?"
I just love it when I speak to my parents. They are in their seventies and eighties and I can hear it in their voices the happiness they feel when I call. Not that they do not have the same happiness with my other siblings but since I live over four hundred miles away, I really believe that their emotions (as well as mine) are a bit "turned-up" a bit…Continue
This week my therapist bluntly asked me, “Are you having a hard time letting go?” I cringed at the words, they sound so harsh and cold and unfeeling. This was John! This was my life! This was great love! And I have been working so hard, so hard to heal, to acknowledge reality, and so yes in many ways I have been working hard I suppose to “let go” of a life, a beautiful life, that isn’t coming back to me. As I opened my mouth to respond all that came out was silence and then tears as I bobbed…Continue
(This was an entry I wrote out in the end of January 2014. I find in comical now, but I was so pretty mad when I wrote it out. )
I got a call from my best friend to please come with her and her husband to a company 50th birthday gathering. She didn't want to sit by herself at the function and her husband would be busy with coworkers. So, hesitantly, I agreed. Most of the night was easy. Light conversation with people at the table we shared. Later in the evening, after…Continue
Jack is 2.5 years old and he's the coolest kid. Craig's been gone for 2.5 years.
Craig, my Chitty, would be so very proud of me. His Smitty.
I've found love again. A man who needed me as much as I needed him. And his girls,…Continue
No matter how positive you try to be, bad days sneak in. I've having a hard start to this month and no matter how hard I try I just can't pull myself out. Today it was the 2nd anniversary of my BIL committing suicide in my husbands car just 7 months after my husbands passing. On top of that it's my Fathers Birthday on the 4th after just losing him on Feb. 17th. On May 14th it will be the 3rd anniversary of my husbands passing, and the day after that the one year anniversary of my best…Continue
lifeafterwidowhood.wordpress.com (This is my url. I have many entries in chronological order. I started the blog in January 2014.)
About a year after Tom died, I felt a bit of relief from grieving. It was my goal to get through that first year, thinking I'd feel better afterward. Well, I felt the weight of the sadness lift and, shortly after, embarked on a few adventures out of my comfort zone.
Initially, this felt good, and I…Continue
That was a tough one to watch...
Added by Mac on April 1, 2014 at 5:41am — No Comments
Added by Hanh on April 1, 2014 at 3:57am — No Comments