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April 2014 Blog Posts (38)

My Interview Podcast

Podcast #7 Meet Mark: Carolyn interviews me. She was able to elicit much and bring back the emotional memories of Donna’s caregiving and death. As painful as it was it’s a window into why I am doing this and what I’ve learned. You’ll love the part about whole brain radiation evidence vs. quality of life.…


Added by Mark99 on April 30, 2014 at 3:34pm — No Comments

My Interview Podcast

Podcast #7 Meet Mark: Carolyn interviews me. She was able to elicit much and bring back the emotional memories of Donna’s caregiving and death. As painful as it was it’s a window into why I am doing this and what I’ve learned. You’ll love the part about whole brain radiation evidence vs. quality of life.…


Added by Mark99 on April 30, 2014 at 3:32pm — No Comments

The Reluctant Student

Recently I had someone, truly trying to be helpful, suggest that because I am relatively young, 38, that I could start my life all over again now. I could remarry, have babies and raise a family, again. I should look at this as a blessing in that I could get to do it all twice. This was said as if it was a good thing, an enviable thing. I could only shake my head slowly and reassure her that I would likely be grandmother in the next ten years and had no desire to “do it all over”. She…


Added by flannery on April 29, 2014 at 9:00am — 3 Comments

Lists: Wishes, Anger and Hope

Sorry for another long post but I have a lot that needs to get out these days....

Lists: wishes, anger and hope                                                                    April 28, 2014

Wish List

I wish Ron was here. I wish Ron did not die. (duh)

I wish my family and closest friends would remember that our wedding anniversary is next week and that it makes me cry to think about it and I would like some company and some help…


Added by MissingRKK on April 29, 2014 at 8:30am — 28 Comments

May. Wedding Anniversary (death anniversary, too but that is another post...)

May. So it was going to arrive one way or another. I wish my brain and heart would have given me these final days in April to rest.  But no, that is not what is happening. 6 days until our wedding anniversary and I am plunged back into a deep grief I haven’t felt for a while. Scattered, fragile, overwhelmed by grief, overwhelmed by each task large or small, doubting myself, my decisions, wondering what the hell am I going to do with my life now, wondering how another year could have passed…


Added by MissingRKK on April 29, 2014 at 6:00am — 2 Comments

Long Time No hear!

Miss you guys. How is everyone?

James Pinnick

Added by james7 on April 24, 2014 at 8:40pm — No Comments

Even baby Elephants grieve and cry real tears - poor little soul

My Roses

We are not alone in our grief.....

Look at this link for the story of this baby elephant who cries for 5 hrs after being rejected by its mother.

Newborn Elephant Weeps Uncontrollably After Mother Rejects Him.  The vets did not realise what was happening. …


Added by my roses on April 23, 2014 at 8:42am — No Comments

Drewlady/I am Thankful

Hello All.

Thank you thank you for all your thoughts, prayers,and  kindnesses after my mother's passing.

I miss her terribly but going one step at a time. I miss Drew terribly of course  and now  I am crying and hollering for them and others  as I prepare another bubble bath to try to relax.

The other half of the  Pepsi Cola scholarship girls  as the neighborhood called them, entered hospice two hours before  Mom died. Auntie is still in hospice, end stage Alz…


Added by Drewlady on April 21, 2014 at 1:38pm — 1 Comment


The table filled to the brim with food. It was barren and grey to me. Her unplaced place setting were glaring.  Its gaze was more than I could bear.  Fuck holidays

Added by Spazzola (JohnLee) on April 20, 2014 at 11:01pm — 2 Comments


My Roses


This is the true story of a man grieving the Love of his Life...He has written 2 books.   I found it moving and as he spoke I was saying YES, YES THAT'S TRUE.   I found this because as a former counsellor I had  been looking at a new diagnosis of grief called Complex Grief.  The 'symptoms' were those  of a Love of your Life grief. But it was being seen as a new category of grief.  I felt deep within that it was important to find out more - because the grief feelings…


Added by my roses on April 19, 2014 at 10:43pm — 1 Comment

I Don't Want to Be Nice! I Don't Want to Be Good!

“I don’t want to be nice! I don’t want to be good!” Years ago while working in a department store I heard a four year old shout this over and over again all the way out the door. It has given me a chuckle off and on over the years ever since because, haven’t we all felt that way at one time or another? But recently, in the face of grief, protracted angst and yes-depression, I don’t just feel that way-I get it-to my very bones. I’m tired of making nice to casual friends who want me to make…


Added by flannery on April 17, 2014 at 8:36am — 11 Comments

keeping busy helps

I have gone back to having dreams again, although they are sad dreams they are not the nightmares I had for the first twelve months after Ray died. These dreams are gentler and I wake slowly from them, not with that sudden breaking away I used to with the nightmares.  It is still frightening sometimes to wake up to a dark room and realise I have only been asleep for an hour or two not a week or two as it has seemed in the dream but apart from that it is okay.…


Added by only1sue on April 16, 2014 at 3:22pm — 2 Comments

A Birthday and a Hope


DSC_0025-2 Happy Birthday my big one year old! Wow, what a day! Did you realize that 38 people came to celebrate your life today? Did you also realize that all of your friends, “brothers” and “sisters” (the kids) outnumbered the mommy’s and daddy’s? Just so that you are aware, we are not doing this every year. You will not  have your own memory of this day, so I am going to do my best in giving you some of my favorite highlights.


I was holding you as the…


Added by Gina on April 15, 2014 at 7:00pm — 2 Comments

Dance in the Downpour

Dear Gabby,

Today as you were busy giving sloppy open mouth kisses to your adoring grandparents, your Uncle Dan and I spent our day listening with our ears and digesting with our hearts a host of information, wisdom, and advice from writers who have already gone ahead of us. I am listening to these writers because I want to learn how to write my story and your Daddy’s story so it will not be lost, and that it can be a part of your…


Added by Gina on April 15, 2014 at 6:59pm — No Comments

A Grief Observed Part 2 "Mysterious Love"


Everyone, who has gone through sorrow or tragedy, asks “Where are you God?” Maybe not out loud or maybe they try to dismiss it but deep within them it’s always wondered. C.S. Lewis describes when you are in most need of Him that it feels like, “a door…


Added by Gina on April 15, 2014 at 6:57pm — No Comments

I Don't Have a Grief Problem - I Have a Family Problem

One of the uglier parts of grief (not that any of it is nice), is that it uncovers issues that have nothing to do with the death of a loved one.  The anniversary of Nathan's death is approaching. This time last year, he was in and out of the hospital, but I thought he would get through it as he always did.........unfortunately, the last time he didn't and he died on May 19th, 2013.   I'll freely admit that even though I've been doing ok for the last few months, I've been in a bit of a funk…


Added by NZJGirl2009 on April 15, 2014 at 12:58pm — 8 Comments

I Just Need to Hear "I Love You"........Full Stop

I grew up in a family that held the view of "blood is thicker than water". Growing up, my mother would often tell me that my friends would come and go, but my family would always be there when I needed them. When my significant other, Nathan, got sick and died in May 2013, I learned how wrong that statement is.  When I needed them the most, my family ran the other way.  They pretended that nothing changed.  They accused me of hurting them with my pain and said that I was killing my parents…


Added by NZJGirl2009 on April 14, 2014 at 11:43am — 2 Comments

Grief leads to a broken heart -- literally

2014 starts, and I’m convinced this year will be better that the last three. I have a nice New Year’s Eve and a more positive, overall feeling about my life moving forward without Tom.

Then the other shoe drops.



Added by lifeafterwidowhood on April 14, 2014 at 11:38am — 4 Comments


My Roses

WOW WHAT WE DO FOR GRIEF....              

Just got an email from a Chinese Friend who is a surgeon and lost his beloved

about 18mths  ago.  I would like to honour him for his work.  He has volunteered in  Cancer clinics

and  helped another clinic develop new ways of healing cancer patients.

Recently  he began volunteering in the outback of Australia without any pay.  He said it kept his mind

off his loss. That he still missed her so much in…


Added by my roses on April 14, 2014 at 4:02am — 2 Comments

Our New Reality

I juggle the kids, the bills, the life

Trying to run from the label: lonely wife

I miss you so much, it hurts so deep

It's 3am, I'm still unable to sleep

Your touch, your kiss, your love - all gone

I'm a shell of a person, without you to lean on

You made me better; you made me complete

It should have been someone else when God hit "delete"

Couldn't he see we were a pair?

A love beyond measure, no one could compare



Added by icecream on April 13, 2014 at 9:02am — 10 Comments

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