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April 2019 Blog Posts (10)

Easier? Not yet...

Well, they say it gets easier. I wish I knew, if that were true. It’s almost been five months now, and it still doesn’t even seem real. I find my mind wandering, in a fog, just not even functioning at all. I guess if I were to take a poll, people would think that it looks like it’s getting easier, easier than it was 3 months ago at least. Every day, I miss him. Every day, I miss Ericka. I shut my eyes and I imagine them as they were, Ericka in Washington, Rick in his chair. They visit me in…

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Added by Marina on April 29, 2019 at 10:08am — 5 Comments

I need some advice

I'm a few days away from it being 4 months since Jim passed away. A couple people I know and respect came to me last week both with the same concern that I'm not grieving, I'm avoiding. Aside from all the stuff I have had to take care of in the beginning, like we all do, Jim gave me a list of things to do. The first was I couldn't run away, the second make all my appointments and take care of me. Over the last few years I haven't done much of that and he was…

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Added by Ozzy turtle on April 28, 2019 at 4:33pm — 8 Comments

i got some great news recently, and I can't be happy about it.

As some of you might know, I've been having one bad thing after another happen recently. Roof leaking, dishwasher breaking, me breaking stuff in the house, never ending home repairs, plus an ongoing health problem. So I was told recently, that my nephew and his girlfriend are expecting a child, this will add Great Uncle to my current title of Crazy Uncle. I am beyond thrilled that this is happening, except for one thing, my nephew's girlfriend and the new addition, will never know Arlene.…

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Added by Don on April 25, 2019 at 2:55pm — 6 Comments

I MISS... YOU'RE SMILING FACE

I MISS...  THE SOUND OF YOU WALKING AROUND IN THE HOUSE

I MISS...  THE CLOTHES YOU ALWAYS LEFT ON THE CLOSET FLOOR

I MISS...  YOU TOUCHING ME WITH YOUR FOOT IN BED

I MISS...  BEING ABLE TO TALK TO YOU

I MISS...  YOU'RE SMILING FACE

I MISS...  US SITTING WATCHING TV TOGETHER

I MISS...  YOUR BOISTEROUS LAUGH

I MISS...  YOUR TOUCH

I MISS...  THE…

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Added by jlsrdh on April 25, 2019 at 11:06am — 4 Comments

2019

Iwell started off the year unemployed. Found a job but then my roommates decided to downsize and asked me to move out.  Found a side gig to help me make ends meet but it wipes me out. Looking forward to a trip to Alaska and everyone around me is so negative about me going and enjoying myself except a few. I haven’t had a real vacation in over 12 years and these people just can’t stand it that I might actually have some fun and have something positive to talk and laugh about.…

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Added by Daisy on April 18, 2019 at 7:46am — No Comments

Trying to find my way,

Husband died July 11, 2019 At this point in time, I still cry a lot and feel scared of what’s ahead. Others think we should have moved on at this point. Little do they know, that there is no moving on but moving through. It is a long process and I have accepted this. No easy way, no easy answers. Just taking baby steps so to speak. Read all I can to heal. Have several wonderful books to carry me through and my church. Just checking in to say hi and you are all in my thoughts. I know what it…

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Added by Julie on April 16, 2019 at 4:36pm — 4 Comments

Oops, I did it again!

Got a call on my cell while I was at work today asking for the diabetic in the family, meaning Arlene. So I reacted the way I usually do now, I nicely tell them that she isn't here, but that I can give them the phone number where she is. Then I gave them the phone number to the cemetery, and tell them not to take "There is nobody there by that name" for an answer, because I then tell them "I was there yesterday, she is there, but she didn't say a word". 

I'm going to Hell…

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Added by Don on April 15, 2019 at 12:10pm — 4 Comments

4 months and counting

 When will I stop counting the days?

Loneliness seems deeper daily.  I miss Rick. I miss Erica. Apparently this is the new normal.

I’m trying to find joy, but it’s so hard. I know this will never be easy, people say it will get easier. I think I would be happy with just easier. Each day seems to  last forever. I’m looking for an escape route. But there isn’t one. I don’t ever wanna forget, I just wanna be able to get through the day without crying. They say if you hold your…

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Added by Marina on April 14, 2019 at 9:14am — No Comments

Remember Me...brought me to tears

I just returned from my son's elementary school performance. The chorus sang 'Remember Me', from the movie Coco.

Could not hold it in, the tears were flowing. Every time I hear this song, I hear my husband singing the words to me and also have flashes

of him singing and rocking his sons to sleep when they were newborns. Cherish the memories, yet so painful that he is no longer physically present.

Here are the lyrics:

Remember me

Though I have to say goodbye…

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Added by Lostmyeverything on April 10, 2019 at 7:00am — 1 Comment

Rollercoaster

I wish I could get off this roller coaster,

I wish I could get off this ride. 

I wish I could get a refund.  

You will be just fine - they lied. 

Or maybe this is a merry-go-round,

At this point I’m just not sure. 

My fear is that it’s only begun,

And my existence is just a blur.

Added by Marina on April 7, 2019 at 12:30pm — 3 Comments

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