This is the week.
This is the week Ron finally went to the doctor, after I came back to Jakarta from the US for my father's memorial service and came back with a raging respiratory infection and Samantha's asthma was acting up so Ron was 3rd to go to the doctor.
This is the week where Ron looked at me across our bedroom and said,"what if it is something serious?" and I said, "It won't be, but if it is, we will deal with it."
This is the week where after the ultrasound…Continue
Added by MissingRKK on October 3, 2019 at 4:30pm — No Comments
I went to the Lymphodema Clinic to get fitted with my new pressure garments, while the waist to knee garment was a good fit the stockings, knee to toe were too long. The fitter phoned the distributor to ask why the wrong size had been supplied the answer came back : " We no longer supply the size you requested....". That same answer applies to so many different aspects of my life for instance the spare parts for repairing taps etc, living in an older house as I do I can no longer get a…Continue
Just started to come out of my depression fog after losing my husband unexpectedly 15 months ago, today I get news that they found a lump on my brothers pancreas. He had been losing so much weight. I can't cope with this, I am not emotionally ready to even think about this. I want to escape again from reality. But also my brother will need me. So shattered. Life is exhausting.
Added by Kevin on September 19, 2019 at 6:00am — No Comments
Added by Kevin on September 19, 2019 at 3:54am — No Comments
So, last night was one of those nights, one of those times, where I just broke down into a deep sorrowful cry. It came out of nowhere. Maybe it was because I had things to do yesterday so I tried to be normal which is an understatement. Holding in your emotions to get through each and every day is rough, tough, and almost unbearable. It's so exhausting. So, at the end of the day when I could relax, I think it hit me. I usually cry throughout the day here and there, but yesterday I had things…Continue
I was with my spouse for almost 50 years. I have been widowed for three months. I miss his touch so much. When someone has touched you almost every day for 50 years how do you forget the feeling. I don’t want to forget the feeling yet I don’t want to remember the feeling because it hurt so much.I’m scared I’m going to forget the feeling of his touch . But yet it hurts to remember.
I have realized that I have been trying to find words to use that do not cause anyone pain or hardship. I have been trying to hold all my emotions in except in the early morning hours and late nights when I close myself off. Do you know how uncomfortable people become, even close family and friends, when you show your grief to them? I'm sure you do. I try so hard not to cause anyone pain or grief from my pain and grief. I made most of my family and friends stay…Continue
On July 27, 2019, my husband passed away unexpectedly where I was the one to discovered and held his lifeless body that I was sure someone could fix. But, even as he was rushed to the hospital, no one could bring him back to me.
It's still very raw and fresh: the stabbing aching pain, the breakdowns, the not realizing he is really gone on some occasions, the anxiety, the remembering looking into my husband's lifeless eyes when I pulled him into my arms. It's all so raw and…Continue
I’m blogging again on my site, the Hungover Widow, after being off for a year and a half. Blogging can be lonely. But I’m back with, “Recovering from Extreme Loneliness or Don’t Trust a Guy with 19 Guitars who Wants to Move in with You.” Its about how I wanted so much to be partnered,…Continue
I woke this morning to find you're still not there, a dream so real I felt your hand in my hair. At the window in a far-off stare, our last kiss still upon my lips. Your hand on my neck as I hold your hips, a dance of memories that never slips. To swim in your thoughts once more, holding your hand as the waves wash upon the shore, now in my dreams forevermore.
Watching the clothes tumble in the dryer
You by my side I could never be higher
As the memories spin through my mind
Just want to go back, just one rewind
All the things I want to say
More and more every day
Letters I've written, trying to mend
Lay under your pillow with nowhere to send
As your shadow crosses the room
A silhouette of you by the moon
Does not compare as you stand there
A familiar scent drifts through the air
Your breath on my ear is still there
A kiss on your shoulder, skin so fair
I lay awake to watch you sleep
Thoughts of you in dreams I keep
I am feelimg sorry for myself. I have been home from hospital for four weeks now. I have got over that first joyful feeling of being glad to be alive, over the dreading a ruptured aneurysm, grateful for the many people who supported me etc. My family love me but as they live a distance away from me it is easy to see it is out of sight, out of mind. My daughter said she would try to get down to see me every week but that was never going to happen was it? I know she is busy with her family and…Continue
My friends are taking my decision to leave Raleigh hard. And I love them all because they held me up when I couldn’t hold myself up. I can no longer deal with being stalked at church and on the internet by his family, and people who have issues because I still make sure I look nice each day. I don’t want to deal with all the things that come at me from his family and from people who mean well...and I have to remember that all the time.
I’m tired of crying when I go on the side of town…Continue
My name is Geoff. My husband Steve died 12/7/2018 after a 4 month battle with colon cancer. We were together for 16 years, married for 4. Being a gay couple has its own unique challenges, even in this day and age. Family will distance themselves and say cruel things. For the longest time, it was just Steve and I against the world. He taught me so much about life. How to believe in myself. What it truly means to be happy.
I remember the last 4 months of Steve’s life. The way his…Continue
I got back home from hospital Tuesday afternoon at the end of a six day stay. My daughter Shirley took me down to the hospital, stayed at my house overnight and came back the next day, then came down to bring me home and stayed overnight to make sure I was safe. Despite me being " an older woman" I healed at the expected rate with no unexpected complications. I was so glad to get home to my own bed!
The operation to clip…