I've mentioned that I feel both pride and guilt about my sons feelings of responsibility for me. This was his post on FB to me today:
My entire life, I've been blessed with the opportunity to learn from and be loved by one of the most amazing women in the world. She is fierce, and she is fearless. She works harder than any single person I know. She is caring and selfless and never forgets to do for others what she does for…Continue
It's been a quiet weekend so far. It's been raining for days here in Denver. I don't mind the rain. It looks so green outside. The creek is flowing fast and high. I'm having a relaxing morning. Cleaning some, goofing off some, making a slide show to honor/remember Cindy... My children's dogs are gone for the weekend, that's a nice break.
So I here I sit. Looking through the photos. Feeling so blessed. I had such a kind and loving mom. She was happy most all of the time. Super…Continue
I got a phone call from a trusted and loved friend who had some bad news to relay to me. I prepared myself for the worst, "They found a spot on Mary's liver. . . ."
I remember hearing those same words about my husband and trying to be positive but knowing that the outcome might not be what I expected.
As my friend proceeded to fill me in about Mary's current situation I stood there in stunned silence. Everything from that time in my life came rushing back- the doctor…Continue
in 9 days it will be 6 months since my beautiful man was killed. It is hard to believe that much time has passed already.
This weekend his parents and I went to install his headstone. On Saturday (which would have been a special anniversary for us, if he had survived) we went out to the cemetery to talk to the grounds keeper and make sure what we were doing was ok. There was a rather chatty older gentleman who was there (it was decoration day, so they were having…
I woke up crying in the middle of a nightmare. Don't you just hate that? Don't know what it was about except that feeling that you have lost someone or something and it is never going to be the same. I don't have them often now so obviously something in my daylight hours triggered an old memory and here I was, in that dark place, again. The best thing to do is just get up for a while and think about something else.
Winter is starting to close in. Rain, rain and more rain, rain and…Continue
I'm having a rough couple of days. I've been so busy since Philip died. I've traveled and visited old friends, I had a job interview in another state, I've been planning my move back to Florida this summer, and I've been working on finishing my dissertation. I have kept so busy and only had a few breakdowns or anxiety attacks--everyone keeps telling me how great I seem to be doing.
The truth is I'm trying very hard not to burden other people with my grief. I'm doing this…Continue
Added by CandJ02 on May 1, 2015 at 11:30am — No Comments