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May 2020 Blog Posts (6)


I haven't written here in quite a while. I have been dealing with the loss of my husband through the waves that hit me sometimes with knowing and sometimes without. It's a struggle day to day to move on and realize that my life does have meaning. Now my worst are the fears and anxiety that builds in me. I am so lonely for companionship. I know to some, this is wrong, but I can't help it. I want and need to feel alive again. The loneliness kills me deeply. I went on dating apps…


Added by AandC on May 31, 2020 at 4:06am — 16 Comments

Not the Plan

As a family we all enjoyed sitting together on Wednesday evenings and Watching Modern Family.  There was one particular episode in which the Claire, Phil and the kids were out with an old car and the car starts rolling down this big hill and Claire yells to Phil, "What's the plan Phil?"  After that episode the kids would repeat that line to their father countless times.... what's the plan Tom.... not once did in our wildest dreams think that this was the plan, because it wasn't, it isn't.…


Added by TeresaNY on May 29, 2020 at 4:45am — 3 Comments

The Loss

I speak

but no one hears

If in a dream

I scream

though no sound comes out

My head below the surface

of a water so deep

Comfort lies

in the deception

of an imposed silence

This second language

so painful to learn

I stumble on my words

that many will not hear

and few will understand

Added by Tess on May 27, 2020 at 6:00am — No Comments

Feeling more in control

It is raining the cold rain of winter. The weather changed last week, before that it was warm days, cool nights but now the nights are really cold. Yesterday afternoon I spent two hours looking for my hot water bottle. I knew it was in a blue, green and yellow cover I had knitted myself. When I finally found it it was in a bright pink cover on which the words "I'm a Hottie" were written in a bold black. This was a jokey gift from my son-in-law for my birthday last year. Now how did I miss…


Added by only1sue on May 24, 2020 at 7:00pm — 1 Comment

Its anniversary season

Arlene's birthday was 2 weeks ago, the first half of June brings the Strokaversary, the deathaversary and our anniversery of the day we met. So what happened yesterday, just to pile on? I had my job eliminated. 

Added by Don on May 20, 2020 at 2:16pm — 3 Comments

Grief waves

I've always found this to be the perfect explanation of grief waves.

Added by Don on May 7, 2020 at 10:42am — 3 Comments

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