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June 2013 Blog Posts (49)

When life gives you lemons

Photo courtesy of debspoons at
Photo courtesy of debspoons at

Right after Tom died, I created a …


Added by Tomsgirl on June 6, 2013 at 1:30pm — 2 Comments

Another Anniversary... Funny, I didn't really see this one coming

Well... I have been back to work for exactly one year as of today. It has been one heck of a year. So many learnings and so much personal growth. A lot of lessons about survival, self reliance, acceptance, forgiveness (of self and others).

I think one of the hardest lessons was learning how to be kind to myself. To allow myself the same latitude that I would extend to someone else in my situation. To not sit in judgement of myself but to embrace the lessons that each of my experiences…


Added by jenco2244 (jen) on June 4, 2013 at 12:08pm — 3 Comments


This post is not easy to write. It’ll be more difficult to push publish. The reason is, the subject is, well, subjective, and the fear is someone will…


Added by Tomsgirl on June 2, 2013 at 10:36pm — 5 Comments

It's our anniversary tomorrow

My husband has been gone for 11 months.

His family came for Memorial Day Saturday and Sunday - much as in the past - and I was very weary when the two days were done.  But I was happy to spend Memorial Day Monday in the cemetery in the rain with my husband.  The services had been moved to a building due to weather - I was delighted to be among the families who spent their time in the real world, where uniformed service men were saluting the veterans' grave sites.  It was…


Added by Pat on June 2, 2013 at 7:34pm — 7 Comments


It still takes my breath away when I log onto the site and see my own pictures of Rod and I. When I look at them at home, or on Facebook, of course I miss him and cry and wish he were still here. But seeing them on Widowed Village is always a reality check of sorts for, that really happened. He really died. He really died almost two years ago and I will never see his face again. It's one of those heart punches that knocks the wind out of you and leaves you gasping for air. And they…


Added by rodsgurl09 on June 2, 2013 at 6:32pm — 6 Comments

What you may not want to talk about

A friend’s husband died in April, after lingering on machines in the wake of a Feb. 14 massive heart attack. It’s left my friend, and her son, without their rock and with mounting medical bills.

So, the local music and arts community where I live had a celebration of his life and benefit for the family Friday night.

I was reluctant to go, I hate going to those things alone. Once I got there, I was reluctant to leave, I hate leaving gatherings where I’m having a good…


Added by Tomsgirl on June 2, 2013 at 3:35pm — 11 Comments

Wedding #2

I went to my second wedding (since Cindy passed) yesterday. Wedding #1 was at 5 months. It was my niece's. Lots of family there. A fun time. Cindy really liked this niece. It was a fun and very unusual wedding.

Yesterday was wedding #2. I didn't rsvp until the last possible moment. It was for a co-worker that I don't particularly like or respect. I decided to go because I knew that she wanted to have…


Added by Mac on June 2, 2013 at 9:30am — 9 Comments

To be honest, "I'm Sorry" doesn't help

I recently found this community and am thankful I did. Everyone seems so supportive and understanding, and there are so many groups/forums/issues being addressed, it seems that when I sign in I can find a place to address whatever I'm feeling at that moment.

I do have a little complaint, however- I've noticed that most members begin their messages, replies, etc. by saying "I'm sorry for your loss."    To me, that sentiment is overused and thus ineffective for conveying a caring…


Added by CatherineAmerica on June 2, 2013 at 8:00am — 12 Comments

broken dreams

Some days I am fine, full of energy, able to focus, able to process information, almost back to where I was in 1999 before Ray's major strokes.  Then the next day I am back in bereavement mode, fogged in mentally, hemmed in by those “if only” thoughts, quite unable to do whatever it is I need to be doing right now.  I wonder why I keep going back to that wishful thinking? I ask myself (and the universe) :”WHY????”. It may be hot or cold, summer or winter, an…


Added by only1sue on June 2, 2013 at 12:00am — 3 Comments

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