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June 2014 Blog Posts (54)

Phantom Spouse Pain- It Really Is A Thing

I can’t say I’ve ever felt a phantom limb pain, nor do I want to minimize anyone who is or has, but it’s the closest thing I could think to compare the “feeling” of your person being there only to look over and realize they are actually not. For me it’s a feeling of total surprise and heartache each time. Each time the loss is fresh and hard and cold. Each time I’m sent to that unbelieving space of early on, even if only for a moment. Each time I catch my breath a little and mourn a little…


Added by flannery on June 5, 2014 at 9:24am — 7 Comments

recently widowed as of Feb 26 2014

I am new to this world of widowhood as much as I had wished it would never have happened . My husband was diagnosed with stage 4 Colon cancer in 2010 and fought so hard to remain with us . in 2013 of Nov he was diagnosed with a second cancer which was found in his throat and by the time it was found it had spread to his lungs,ribs, and brain they gave him 3 months to live there was nothing more they could do for him .on Feb 26 th he passed in my arms he suffered so much in the end he and I were… Continue

Added by 2angelwings on June 5, 2014 at 9:20am — 3 Comments

The night we met...

The night we met was a town celebration... it was July 3rd and your little town was known for its 4th of July fun.  A couple of friends and I loaded up in my 68 mustang and decided to make a day of it... we had just graduated from high school a month earlier... we were young and had the whole world ahead of us! The first time I saw you, just saw you...we all stopped without saying a word and looked back... when I asked who you were, they couldn't believe we hadn't met.  You were on the…


Added by sugr-plum (shelly) on June 5, 2014 at 2:33am — 1 Comment

Soon It WIll Have Been 2 Years

In ten days it will have been 2 years. Sadness isn't as much a part of my experience anymore. Extreme emotion and some tears at times, but not sadness. Strong feelings of gratitude for much, including the 27-1/2 years of marriage and 37 years of friendship.

Of course I think about Cindy all of the time, two truly do become one.


My children are happy and we are thriving as a family, grateful for that. All of us did struggle so much initially. Do I feel somewhat…


Added by Mac on June 4, 2014 at 5:41pm — 4 Comments

My Dog is still Grieving

She's really Wayne's Dog. It's been two years and every day she waits. She lays in the driveway, just where she always waited for him. Like Hachiko, the loyal Japanese dog, patiently waiting for his deceased Master, for 8 years.

Today I noticed something different. Patience, yep, she's Patience- I know. .. She seems like she's aging overnight. I heard for us humans 2 years is when we start to realize, "They're not coming back."

What about dogs? Is Patience finally realizing Wayne's… Continue

Added by Patience on June 4, 2014 at 4:30pm — 11 Comments

wanting the impossible

How long do those dreams go on?  there are the nightmares where someone is calling my name in the dark, it sounds like his voice and he sounds distressed as he often did in the end times. There are the ones where I am calling his name and the car is just disappearing around the corner.  Last night I had a new one.  I could see him barbecuing out the back of the house but the doors and windows were locked and although he looked my way I was unable to get out to where he was. I woke up crying…


Added by only1sue on June 4, 2014 at 2:57pm — 2 Comments

A Faded Yellow Post It

A faded yellow post it,

Hastily stuck to the cupboard

Above the kitchen sink

Bearing your distinct scrawl

Declaring your love, and mine.

“I love you honey! Be back soon!”

Seven words I’ve poured over

Too many times since you left it,

Since you left me.

Seven simple words,

Of mundane daily life

And extraordinary love

Became your last gift.

A faded yellow post it,

Hastily stuck to the…


Added by flannery on June 3, 2014 at 7:30am — No Comments

Kitty Cat Cocktail Hour... Yep this is my new normal

I Love my Backyard. It's not very big, but it was perfect for us. Toby and I worked very hard to make it into a backyard oasis. We wanted a place that felt magical, warm, and inviting. It took us many years to bring the little neglect home we found in 2001 back to life. Every year it looks more and more beautiful and takes on a magical essences that some days is breathtaking. …


Added by IndiaKai on June 2, 2014 at 9:30pm — 4 Comments

From the Beginning... and Before the Accident

From the Beginning... (link)

From the Beginning...

Once upon a time...

If you are new to my blog I thought you might want to start at the beginning.  This is my…

Added by Not4naught on June 2, 2014 at 7:03pm — No Comments

For those of you who are new to this page...

I just wanted to introduce myself and tell a bit of my story. On November 10, 2012 my husband and his father died in plane accident. I was 38 years old and the mother of 3 sons ages 17, 16, 13 and a daughter age 10. My fairy tale world was shattered. I lost…


Added by Not4naught on June 2, 2014 at 7:02pm — 1 Comment

Ritual Of Tea and Healing

The first active thing I remember doing after I emerged from my bedroom two or three days after John died was setting the tea kettle on the stove. Something I would have done "Before" everyday to prepare tea for myself and John. With that seemingly small action I was very aware of all eyes turned on me from the dining table and all conversation immediately silenced round me.

I didn’t say anything for several minutes as I waited for the normal, everyday sound of the teapot’s shrill…


Added by flannery on June 2, 2014 at 9:00am — 7 Comments

Bad Day

Yesterday was a really bad day for me.  I was fine during the early morning but then things went from S to S at noon.  I was taking my dog to a play date and all of a sudden it hit me that I haven't had a hug in 6 weeks.  My husband used to hug me several times a day.  He'd just walk up to me and wrap his arms around me and hold me for minutes (burned dinner a couple of times).  It was the most wonderful feeling in the world.  Now it's gone.  It's not something that I'm going to get…


Added by Storm-Dancer on June 2, 2014 at 5:57am — 4 Comments

Anniversary Today

Today would have been our 23rd wedding anniversary.  How have I already spent this day alone 3 times? I have no idea. Don't ask me what I did the last two years, I haven't a clue. I am sure I will reflect next year back to this year and also have no idea how I spent today either.

I do remember our 20th anniversary - our last. We never did much for our anniversaries, but we figured this one was special, so we snuck away for an overnight and booked a golf getaway. I think you golfed…


Added by icecream on June 1, 2014 at 3:00pm — 8 Comments

maintaining hope

I got up this morning and the sun was shining and everything sparkled after an early morning rain shower.  It is another reminder that life goes on.  Whatever is happening in our own personal space life goes on all around us. We are just tiny specks on a tiny planet spinning in the Milky Way.

It was a busy weekend for me so today I am going to take life easy, or that is what I promise myself. Actually I have to take it easy today as I am taking an…


Added by only1sue on June 1, 2014 at 2:47pm — No Comments

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