If you are new to my blog I thought you might want to start at the beginning. This is my…
I can’t say I’ve ever felt a phantom limb pain, nor do I want to minimize anyone who is or has, but it’s the closest thing I could think to compare the “feeling” of your person being there only to look over and realize they are actually not. For me it’s a feeling of total surprise and heartache each time. Each time the loss is fresh and hard and cold. Each time I’m sent to that unbelieving space of early on, even if only for a moment. Each time I catch my breath a little and mourn a little…Continue
The night we met was a town celebration... it was July 3rd and your little town was known for its 4th of July fun. A couple of friends and I loaded up in my 68 mustang and decided to make a day of it... we had just graduated from high school a month earlier... we were young and had the whole world ahead of us! The first time I saw you, just saw you...we all stopped without saying a word and looked back... when I asked who you were, they couldn't believe we hadn't met. You were on the…Continue
In ten days it will have been 2 years. Sadness isn't as much a part of my experience anymore. Extreme emotion and some tears at times, but not sadness. Strong feelings of gratitude for much, including the 27-1/2 years of marriage and 37 years of friendship.
Of course I think about Cindy all of the time, two truly do become one.
My children are happy and we are thriving as a family, grateful for that. All of us did struggle so much initially. Do I feel somewhat…Continue
How long do those dreams go on? there are the nightmares where someone is calling my name in the dark, it sounds like his voice and he sounds distressed as he often did in the end times. There are the ones where I am calling his name and the car is just disappearing around the corner. Last night I had a new one. I could see him barbecuing out the back of the house but the doors and windows were locked and although he looked my way I was unable to get out to where he was. I woke up crying…Continue
A faded yellow post it,
Hastily stuck to the cupboard
Above the kitchen sink
Bearing your distinct scrawl
Declaring your love, and mine.
“I love you honey! Be back soon!”
Seven words I’ve poured over
Too many times since you left it,
Since you left me.
Seven simple words,
Of mundane daily life
And extraordinary love
Became your last gift.
A faded yellow post it,
Hastily stuck to the…Continue
Added by flannery on June 3, 2014 at 7:30am — No Comments
I Love my Backyard. It's not very big, but it was perfect for us. Toby and I worked very hard to make it into a backyard oasis. We wanted a place that felt magical, warm, and inviting. It took us many years to bring the little neglect home we found in 2001 back to life. Every year it looks more and more beautiful and takes on a magical essences that some days is breathtaking. …Continue
Added by Not4naught on June 2, 2014 at 7:03pm — No Comments
I just wanted to introduce myself and tell a bit of my story. On November 10, 2012 my husband and his father died in plane accident. I was 38 years old and the mother of 3 sons ages 17, 16, 13 and a daughter age 10. My fairy tale world was shattered. I lost…Continue
The first active thing I remember doing after I emerged from my bedroom two or three days after John died was setting the tea kettle on the stove. Something I would have done "Before" everyday to prepare tea for myself and John. With that seemingly small action I was very aware of all eyes turned on me from the dining table and all conversation immediately silenced round me.
I didn’t say anything for several minutes as I waited for the normal, everyday sound of the teapot’s shrill…Continue
Yesterday was a really bad day for me. I was fine during the early morning but then things went from S to S at noon. I was taking my dog to a play date and all of a sudden it hit me that I haven't had a hug in 6 weeks. My husband used to hug me several times a day. He'd just walk up to me and wrap his arms around me and hold me for minutes (burned dinner a couple of times). It was the most wonderful feeling in the world. Now it's gone. It's not something that I'm going to get…Continue
Today would have been our 23rd wedding anniversary. How have I already spent this day alone 3 times? I have no idea. Don't ask me what I did the last two years, I haven't a clue. I am sure I will reflect next year back to this year and also have no idea how I spent today either.
I do remember our 20th anniversary - our last. We never did much for our anniversaries, but we figured this one was special, so we snuck away for an overnight and booked a golf getaway. I think you golfed…Continue
I got up this morning and the sun was shining and everything sparkled after an early morning rain shower. It is another reminder that life goes on. Whatever is happening in our own personal space life goes on all around us. We are just tiny specks on a tiny planet spinning in the Milky Way.
It was a busy weekend for me so today I am going to take life easy, or that is what I promise myself. Actually I have to take it easy today as I am taking an…Continue
Added by only1sue on June 1, 2014 at 2:47pm — No Comments