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June 2015 Blog Posts (27)

I search for you

I search for you in all the places

I know you can't be

And yet I still strain to catch a glimpse of your face.

I hear echos of your voice-

Your answers are ever present,

Your absence is unfathomable

In a world where you were part of myself.

I bide my time in this fake world-

Crumbling mirrors,

Little wonders,

They are the tethers keeping me from the abyss.

I dream of other days in a time where you were ever present,

Your words carried… Continue

Added by OriRising on June 8, 2015 at 6:17pm — 1 Comment

some days are diamond, some days are stone

I still miss him.  Every single day. 

It's been 6 years.  It always seems like yesterday.

Most of the time I get on with my life with no major meltdowns.  Of course I've gotten through the hurdles of this year that trigger my sadness- the holidays,…

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Added by bis4betsy on June 8, 2015 at 4:45pm — 2 Comments

My heart hurts

Today my heart just hurts.  Over the weekend I went to visit our godchildren for the first time along since his passing.  I went to the aquarium for our godson's 3rd birthday and my other godson's baseball game.  I kept thinking how much Ray would have loved those moments, especially the baseball game.  He loved those kids so much; he would have been such a wonderful father.  An now my heart hurts because I had to experience the weekend alone.  It also hurts because those boys will never…

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Added by H2obapper on June 8, 2015 at 12:16pm — No Comments

From the Book Second First

What I Know for Sure

The way I see the world after loss is not very traditional.

But it is one that has saved my life and the life of many others.

This is what I know for sure.

  1. You can find joy after loss in the most unexpected things and…
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Added by Camaro1969 on June 5, 2015 at 12:56pm — 2 Comments

4 years

If you had told me 4 years ago that someday I would be looking back and saying, "Wow....it's been 4 years....how can it be 4 years?" I would have told you that you were insane. Because 4 years ago, my world was a bleak existence that all I wanted was out of, and fast, please. 

It's been 4 years. Rather, in 24 days, it will have been 4 years. (Not that I'm counting....stupid countdown clock.) 

4 years since I heard his voice, saw his smile and his handsome face, felt myself…

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Added by rodsgurl09 on June 4, 2015 at 7:53pm — 3 Comments

Looking back from the perspective of 5 years

This was a milestone year. 5 years. how it happened I don't know I think the below makes so much sense where I am right now

I did not write this but I think that after five years these are indeed the things I have learned. I wish I knew who wrote it because I would give them credit, but whoever wrote it really gets it.

A time finally comes when you "get it" ... when, in the midst of all your tears and insanity you stop in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head…

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Added by Paula on June 2, 2015 at 6:33pm — 15 Comments

the stolen years

Does anybody else feel as if their years as a caregiver were stolen from them?   I feel that sometimes.  I look back at all that work, worry, expense and angst and wonder what all that achieved.  I know it was a big part of our married life as Ray had his first stroke at the age of  48.  We had been married 22 years. When Ray had his first stroke in 1990, I was 43.   I had been a Tupperware lady for the previous eight years as Ray didn't want me to work away from home and i could choose my…

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Added by only1sue on June 1, 2015 at 2:00pm — 3 Comments

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