Added by The Hungover Widow on June 29, 2017 at 4:18am — No Comments
I hate that helpless feeling that comes when something goes wrong in the family and I just know there is nothing I can do to alter what is happening. I know if Ray were still alive that he would have a contribution to make in the present situation. I know that on my own I will not jump into the car and go out and help, but if there were two of us that would happen. This is when being a widow sucks, when you need two wise heads in a situation. So I consulted my daughter and she said:…Continue
‘There is nothing that can replace the absence of someone dear to us, and one should not even attempt to do so. One must simply hold out and endure it. At first that sounds very hard, but at the same time it is also a great comfort. For to the extent the emptiness truly remains unfilled one remains connected to the other person through it. It is wrong to say that God fills the emptiness. God in no way fills it but much more leaves it precisely unfilled and thus helps us prese…Continue
I just came to work. I didn't know what else to do. I don't really want to be here, but I think home would just be depressing. Well, it's all depressing. But I didn't want to be alone, and I still hear a voice telling me that no one cares and to shut up and get over it. So I didn't want to ask anyone to come over, just to keep me company. So work it is.
Once I thought I'd love to not have to go to doctors appointments every week, multiple times a week. Now I'd give…Continue
Winter weather is cold and wet again, we need the rain for crops further up the valley and to refill the local water supply so not a lot of point in complaining, winter will pass in time and it will be Spring again. I have been doing some of the needed outside work between rain periods so managed this afternoon to repot some of the bromeliads and weed some of the many pots around my back yard. It is not what I want to do but provides a reason to get up each morning and gives me something…Continue
My latest article is in the wonderful online publication "Modern Loss." It's a father's day tribute to my dad who raised me after my mom died when I was ten. We became even closer when he helped me see that life could still be worth living after I lost my George in 2013. Here it is if you'd like to read it: http://modernloss.com/father-grief-mentor/ I so appreciate your patience with my posting links instead of actual…Continue
I know Pandora learns its listeners preferences, but I still don't think it's a coincidence that tonight I've heard If I Die Young, I Can Only Imagine (Shane's funeral song), Die A Happy Man, and now Marry Me (Shane and I's song). I think this was to get my attention, and then the next couple of songs played, some new to me, some I needed to listen again to the lyrics:
You're Not Alone by Meredith Andrews
Today is Bob's 10th year anniversary ...
Today our 23 year old daughter was diagnosed with MS ...
Today my 32 year old nephew was diagnosed with tumors on his pituitary gland ...
Two days after Bob's death, I had a dream of my daughter & nephews w/ravens flying around ...
Never could figure out why this particular nephew was in the dream instead of his brother who died 9 months prior ...
Not only is today's date darker, it is sadly more meaningful…Continue
Hello. I am new to this site. I lost the love of my life to cancer two weeks ago. We were married for 21 years and have two children ages 18 and 15. Beyond the feeling of grief I have never felt before in my entire life- that comes in incredible waves out of nowhere at any time of the day...I find myself having trouble grasping that this is my new world. Who EVER thinks they are going to come part of a sight like this. I find it surreal at times. To think about the fact that John will no…Continue