Today would have been our 32nd wedding anniversary...She's been gone for 3yrs. I feel so numb, empty and lifeless.
Nobody loves me. I don't mean nobody cares about me, I am sure my family does and maybe a few special friends but nobody LOVES me. I am not the centre of anyone's world. I am not needed by someone, I am not someone's main concern. I know it doesn't make sense that I am crying for that reason but I am. I am crying because I see couples all the time sitting together, shopping together, talking together and I am envious. I want to be part of that kind of world. I don't want to be part of that…Continue
It seems like it has been a really long time since I last posted. Still not having any issues with loneliness like I had in the past, but I have also been reluctant to claim victory because I have not accomplished all my goals. One of my goals is to obtain work where I can afford not just to financially support my self but also to have a life outside of work. Right now my job is making that impossible. It’s one thing to want to live with someone else when it’s your choice to live with them.…Continue
Added by Daisy on June 27, 2018 at 10:00pm — No Comments
My husband passed in August 2012. I was in a grief group, an excellent group, for a couple of years and I was also active on this site for a while. I have not been on it for a couple of years. I’m not so sure that I am making good progress in getting on with my life. I cry every day, not much, not long, but I still cry. I have one son who is 46 who has had a physical and learning disability since he was eight. I am trying to think of good words to say this but I don’t know how much longer…Continue
WELL, My Dearest,
We made it....our first Fathers Day without you! I have to admit I was a basket case the days leading up to Sunday. Generally, the kids and I would be wrapped up in getting you that "perfect" gift. This year I was going to get you that new recliner you always wanted....your Pammie was sure to get daddy something special and of course Howard was the one to get you something funny. Kevin, our oldest always was the first to call and the grandkids jumped…Continue
Added by DIVA70 on June 18, 2018 at 9:48am — No Comments
I seem to have been busy in the past few weeks. I went to my son's in Broken Hill for a week as planned. The wrap on my thigh in addition to the stocking worked well on the flights. The extra padding did feel as if I was wearing part of a suit of armour. As it is regional airline and a small plane with narrow steps I did have some trouble with getting off tne plane but that was really the only problem with flying. Negotiating the local transport and the airport was no trouble as I have…Continue
I cry at the laughter
I laugh through the tears
I dance with the sobs
Counting minutes, missing years…
I love you through my pain
I love you through my loss
I love you through the tears
I'll love you still, through our lost years
You loved me when I couldn't
You loved me when I wouldn't…Continue
….that is the title of a well known grief support seminar series. A well thought out, well researched, well constructed and, most of all, well intentioned series of videos.
From Mourning to Joy…..
I've been thinking about the word survivor and why it's what we are called.
Last night I had a very scary medical drama, (I'm fine) but this morning I woke up and thought about it a little bit. My first thought was, "Well now I've survived my first serious health scare without my sweet Jerry." I am rocking or maybe I should say wobbling though widdahood. I've "survived" though a plethora of minor catastrophes, okay so maybe they were just household upheavals but anyway, I…
During a regular old average conversation last week in the chat room, we talked about "happy places". It was then that I realized, my happy place is gone. Jerry's arms have always been my refuge, my delight, my happy place. Since that conversation, I've been feeling small and a little bit lost. Unsheltered, unrested, and undone! Perhaps it's because the 6-month mark is approaching. I'm not sure how, as time seems to be altered to me. Jerry died, yesterday, last week, last night and 5…Continue