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July 2013 Blog Posts (97)

Two discoveries...

I've not been here in awhile ... I was trying to get beyond bleak.  There have been better days... and then there are discovery days (if one's perceptions are accurate).

It came to me last night that I've had 3 significant people in my life who have become difficult for me to be with.  One is the Sister in Law who invaded personal space during hospice and with whom I've first learned about boundary setting.  Yet she is a relative with whom my children need to remain connected.…


Added by Pat on July 16, 2013 at 5:44am — No Comments


I certainly have counted the months. Have been focused on the dates.


The 1st few months just trying to cope and survive and handle my responsibilities.  Other monthly anniversaries feeling some of the trends in this grief journey.


So last month was the one-year anniversary. A couple of weeks later I went to CWW.


I didn’t think that the one-year anniversary would be as symbolic as it has been. I’m starting to feel some changes. I’m…


Added by Mac on July 15, 2013 at 9:30pm — 4 Comments

The Final Chapter to the Courtroom Bullsh*t

DATES, Numbers, TIME

In 2.5 months my husband will have been gone for 2 years.  

22.5 months ago, he was struck by a drunk driver, t-boned in his newly boughten truck on his way to work on a sunday morning.  3 weeks after he lost his life, I gave birth to our son.  Our very first and only baby. (we wanted 4)

3 months before he was killed, we were married on a wonderfully warm June 18th.

2 months before our wonderful wedding day, we bought our first house…


Added by smit09 on July 15, 2013 at 5:45pm — 7 Comments

The "business" of being widowed

  There's no way around it... the surviving partners have to deal with the BUSINESS of the death of our loved ones. I have never had to take care of anything in relations to funerals, obituaries, life insurance payouts, notifying the living friends and family as well as all the different companies involved in one's life.

  I've found some of the kindest and rudest people in…


Added by Grammie59 (Cher) on July 15, 2013 at 5:23pm — 3 Comments

How I Survive Each Month's Anniversary Date

Hi Everyone,

I hope your day is going well and that you don't struggle each month on the day that you lost your loved one!  As I think you all know, but just in case you don't, my wife of nearly 52 beautiful years passed away on 6 August 2012. The one year Anniversary is coming up in less than a month and I've passed each month's Anniversary day along the way.  Many widows and widowers seem to have a very hard time when the monthly Anniversary day or the yearly Anniversary day of the…


Added by Moving On on July 15, 2013 at 1:00pm — 4 Comments


Fear. I wish I could say I have no fears.  But that would be a lie.

The truth is the things I've always feared the most have already happened. 
I remember as a little girl I was so afraid of losing my mom.... and that she would grow old. 
Funny, poignant story....…

Added by katjames on July 15, 2013 at 7:30am — No Comments

Mercy (another sermon at my new church)


Luke 10:25-37

25Just then a lawyer stood up to test Jesus. “Teacher,” he said, “what must I do to inherit eternal life?” 26He said to him, “What is written in the law? What do you read there?” 27He answered, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your strength, and with all your mind; and your neighbor…


Added by Sharon on July 15, 2013 at 3:42am — 2 Comments


Today I had fun watching some of the family videos. First by myself. Then with my son. Later on with my daughter when she got home. 

Today was one of those days where when I thought about the love and life that we shared I couldn't help but smile.…


Added by Mac on July 14, 2013 at 5:24pm — 2 Comments


“In time, in time they tell me, I'll not feel so bad. I don't want time to heal…


Added by hendrixx2 on July 14, 2013 at 4:27pm — 2 Comments

Drewlady Confident Widow Put One Foot In Front Of the other

Hello all. Well made it through June. 4th Anniversary and wedding anniversary with those stupid questions "Are you all better?" and "Left hand still bare?" Gave polite answers.Thought my mother would not want me to be rude. Before the Alz she was never rude to those questions I observed many times. In the car later she  would say I shouda said wanted to say etc.They have no idea Mom would say and now I well WE know.Especially pulled off I think fun birthday get togethers for the son and…


Added by Drewlady on July 14, 2013 at 9:10am — No Comments

Torn Between Two Lovers

I was married to Wingman for 30 years and dated him for another six prior, before I gave him the "marry-me-or-hit-the-highway" ultimatum.  Which didn't leave many other years to date. But I did have a first love. A high school first love who committed suicide last week.

I met him through my brother-they played on the same summer baseball team.  He was a hell of a shortstop-he lettered in high school as a freshman.  His dad died when he was young, so he was raised along with…


Added by barbstar54 on July 14, 2013 at 2:30am — No Comments

a thousand times a day....

There are a thousand times I think of you each day.  I thought of you today as I was trying to find the shortest way to where I wanted to go in town.  You knew your way around our city so well.  It was an effortless task for you to get somewhere, but me?   I still have trouble remembering.  You know how directionally challenged I can be.  You know how I needed you.  You were happy my new car had a GPS.

I remember all the little things you would tell me.  So in…


Added by katjames on July 13, 2013 at 10:30am — 2 Comments

Pain without end is just my begining

Pain is what I face every night as I sit by myself, crying over what used to be.  A life that no longer resembles mine. A life that seems as if it should belong to someone else, not me.  A life changed in an instant.  As I sat by Earnest talking and sharing our day, I would have never imagined that my life would soon never be the same.  A stroke that caused so much bleeding that the neurologists could not believe that he was alive. Machines breathing for him and eyes that held so much pain. …


Added by Sherry on July 12, 2013 at 10:08pm — 4 Comments


By no choice of ours, we are here! in this dark valley of the shadow of death. brought together by the strangest and weirdest thing; death. The death of a spouse, a soul mate, a lover and best friend. The one person you wanted to share your life with.


In this place, there are restrictions to the ages , no gender discrimination,... just a group of persons that have experienced the unthinkable pain!!! the kind that leaves you bleeding for a long time and leaves behind an…


Added by Hilene on July 12, 2013 at 12:09pm — 2 Comments

the gifts we gave each other

Gifts.  The best ones are without a monetary value.  I was thinking today about the gifts we gave to each other.  

He gave to me the example of courage.  Determination.  Loyalty. He made me feel safe.  He gave to me his best self.  The one that  made me feel adored and loved completely.  He gave me a man that was all I ever needed or wanted.  His body to hold and be held by.  His vulnerability.  He gave me the gift of never wanting to ever hurt…


Added by katjames on July 12, 2013 at 8:23am — No Comments

Why Won't Anyone LIsten to Me?

Good morning everyone on WV,

I know that many, if not most, of us always stop crying long enough to say, "why me and how come no one will listen to me!  It's like they don't want to hear about it!  It's like they don't even care!  First of all, it depends on the perspective of who's doing the asking and who's supposed to be doing the listening.  As the asker, I can assure you that they are listening, but like you say, they don't want to hear what you have to say.  It's not that they…


Added by Moving On on July 12, 2013 at 7:00am — 2 Comments

Karen K. hatch

   I lost Karen on 2/14/07, Yes Valentines Day. She found out she had Diabetes in 2003, then on 2/12/07 she suffered a cardio/respitory arrest, and a blood infection. She was unconscious for the last 34 hours here on earth.

Added by widower on July 12, 2013 at 4:37am — 1 Comment

All The Pieces

So many pieces to this puzzle, scattered all about.

It seems like some of them are getting laid out on the table almost ready to fit together (I hope that I am right).

Wonder what this puzzle is going to look like when a few of these pieces finally start to fit together?

I certainly don't have any idea.

Added by Mac on July 11, 2013 at 7:30pm — 2 Comments

my story

I lost my husband August 28th 2012 at 3:30 am. He died of a proximial acute aortic aneurisim it was very sudden no chance to say goodbye. He thought he had a really bad pulled muscle from moving some stuff around that day so about 12:30 that night I took him to the hospital. I never expected it never in a million years. He just turned 30. We had been together since I was 14, just celebrated our 10 year wedding anniversary. We renewed our vows. That was a wonderful day. I'm trying to be happy… Continue

Added by ruby on July 11, 2013 at 6:57am — 5 Comments

Color My World

It's no joke when I say that what Queen Elizabeth in 1992 called her "Annus Horribilis" was nothing compared to what I went through in 2012.  So what if three of her kids separated and/or divorced and one of her daughters-in-law wrote a tell-all book? Big deal that she had a castle fire and had to charge admission at Buckingham Palace to pay for it!  Didn't she still have her husband (pompous, arrogant jerk that he is), a job that's only requirement is to wear pretty party hats and a couple…


Added by barbstar54 on July 11, 2013 at 2:30am — No Comments

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