Six weeks ago I decided to run away from home. Wanting to leave the crappy job I had and escape all the drama and chaos of family situations was not the initial thought that led me to the decision, but those things were most definitely deciding factors.
So, having put the original plan in motion and feeling like the change would lead to unimagined possibilities, I quit my job, sold/gave away 90% of everything I owned, put the rest in storage in Texas, packed the essentials in my car…Continue
I have written you almost every day this past year. I written all of my experiences, my journeys, about the new people who have entered my life, my anger, my dark days, my good days, losing Shadow and Daytona, watching our family fall apart, about my loneliness that leaves me hollow, and how I’ve finally accepted being alone.…Continue
I sit by myself today in my backyard. My husband would have been 37 today. We would have been out our cabin, drinking beer and enjoying the long weekend. Today, I sit by myself and wish him a very quiet happy birthday alone. I have been a wreck for over a month dreading this weekend. Today, I'm exhausted but calm. It's the calm that I hope stays with me to endure the one year mark tomorrow.
Happy 37th birthday today wherever your journey has lead you my love.
I made it... don't know how... and can't remember doing anything remarkable in the past 3 months, but I made it. (actually 3 months and 1 week) I"m still not sleeping... putting on the weight I lost (ugh) and have cried more times in a day then not... but I made it...correction... we made it. Need to give credit to our son... he's doing amazing. He's filling in your shoes the best he can, while still remaining a typical teenage boy. The other day, you would have been so proud of him...…Continue
Added by Babs on July 4, 2014 at 5:26pm — No Comments
“You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something – your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever, because believing that the dots will connect down the road will give you the…Continue
I feel I am getting stronger and then things fog up again, I start to miss meetings and events, my head is muzzy and I go around in a dream. I find myself watching tv with no idea what I am watching and falling asleep and waking up two hours later. I wonder why I am fine for a while and then suddenly it is like I am just a few weeks out from his death? Tonight I turned to his chair to remark on a program I thought "we" were watching. It is as if there is a time slip and all of a sudden I…Continue