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July 2016 Blog Posts (27)

The grief monster

Everyone at this site have experienced bone-crushing knock-off-your-feet-and-decide-if-you-can-go-on type of loss of a loved one. If we are lucky, we learn how to navigate it and live with the grief monster. Some days are pretty good, some days pretty crappy. If we get really luck, we find true love again.

Eventually, we meet face to face with the grief monster by another big loss that kicks you to the ground. I didn't quite see it coming but the end was similar to my late…


Added by swede dreams (mags) on July 31, 2016 at 7:18pm — 6 Comments

Love and Loss

“I have always been afraid of losing those that I love. I’ve sometimes wondered is there anyone out there afraid of losing me.” Anon.

One of my friends posted this today on Facebook and for some reason it caught my attention. I was going to do my usual click like and move on but something made me stop. Something about this quote bothered me even as it held my attention. It made me stop and take stock, but not, I think, in the way the author intended. Instead, I felt…


Added by jrval on July 31, 2016 at 2:35pm — 3 Comments

We Need to be Human, Together by Michele Neff Hernandez

Michele posted these words on her Facebook page this morning and I felt they were important to share here. 

I've been thinking over the past several weeks about hate.

Each time a new attack on humanity is perpetrated, my heart just aches, and a feeling of helplessness looms. How do we combat this kind of hate? When you aren't sure from which corner or from what source violence will suddenly assault your mind, your heart, and for…


Added by Soaring Spirits on July 28, 2016 at 10:51am — 4 Comments

My Husband, my angel!

It's been 3 years and 4 months since my Husband died.  Never did I think that he would be gone at age 57.   We had plans on traveling the U.S. once he retired.   The 2 months from diagnosis to his death are a blur some days and other times I can remember every event: so many hospital visits (1 month in total) because of the toll the cancer was doing to his body.   One of the saddest things was when he had to start using a walker to get around because of neurological…


Added by lizbeth4 on July 27, 2016 at 8:44am — 3 Comments

Best years of our lives

Shouldn't these be the BEST years of our lives?

We should be out and about, roaming the city, discovering the latest trends. Eating gourmet ice cream and drinking whatever hipster coffee is IT at the moment. We should be at the bars, drinking craft beers, laughing and having a merry good time with our friends. We should be celebrating all the milestones together - children, our wedding anniversaries, a job promotion. We should be planning our trip to Vietnam in October. We would have… Continue

Added by Ang on July 26, 2016 at 11:10pm — 2 Comments

month 4

It is 4 months today some days it feels like yesterday.  Like everyone else I have good days and bad ones.  This morning I woke up and for a moment I thought he was in bed with me it was a nice feeling wish it was real.  I made breakfast it's the first time in months, Mike enjoyed Sunday morning breakfast, I put a small ham in the crock pot for later the kids will all be over today they want to celebrate my birthday which was a few days ago.   We had Mike's family reunion yesterday we all…


Added by lee on July 24, 2016 at 5:34am — 1 Comment

We all have different views on widowhood

I met for lunch today with four women all of whom are widows.  We talked of many things finishing up with coping alone as a widow versus remarrying.  This came about because another widow of our acquaintance has just announced her engagement, she is in her 70s.  All but me said they would never remarry though one did say she is lonely despite all of her activities.  Activities seemed to be for all of us our main aim in life now.  The theory is: keep busy and the days will just fly by.  I do…


Added by only1sue on July 20, 2016 at 9:30pm — 3 Comments

One Month

One month. It's a landmark, a victory, a painful reminder. I don't know. I think the first few weeks, I was in shock. I lost time without knowing where it went. Now... not so much.

A month on. I still see things in the grocery store and think of him. There were purple flowers on clearance, and I reached to pick them up, knowing how amused he would be that I bought him purple flowers - on clearance! - before I remembered. I wake up and look at the clock and think that I have time…


Added by Medea on July 16, 2016 at 3:00am — No Comments

Working together one last time

Today is Bunny's combination birthday party and life celebration. I have previously written about the reasons for her party earlier in my blog, just in case you need any background info.

Bunny died on May 25th, just about a week shy of two months ago. It wasn't a surprise, it wasn't some horrific accident, it wasn't a long protracted illness like so many we have all read here. It was quiet, peaceful and painless, with both my daughter and I holding her as she left us. To the extent… Continue

Added by Pointbass on July 16, 2016 at 12:43am — 3 Comments

I'm Tired of Being Tired

When my wife died it felt as though my world had stopped, just completely, utterly stopped moving. Folks here at WV know far too well what that feeling is like. The loss, the quiet (it got really, really quiet for me), the deep sobbing, all of it is far too familiar to us by now. And after a time, that combination of loss, quiet & deep sorrow made me extremely tired. I can remember feeling exhausted and bone-tired, on top of all of the grief that I had been experiencing.



Added by Pointbass on July 12, 2016 at 8:10am — 4 Comments

D23 Expo & Highland's War

D23 Expo tickets go on sale this week. I don't know that I want to go without him, but I can hear him telling me that I should go. All he ever wanted was for me to be happy.

Went to Highland's War. His Baronial Awards are in the Baron's hands. He's keeping them separate. His original coronet is in the hands of the King. If he doesn't find someone to give it to this rein, he'll hang on to it. It's going in his personal things, not Kingdom Regalia, but he'll make sure it's taken care of…


Added by Medea on July 11, 2016 at 7:30am — No Comments

Leaving Self-Pity Behind

There is stuff I should be doing today, other than sitting here writing. And I have things planned: finalizing the Life Celebration party for Bunny, my wife who passed away not quite 2 months ago, party scheduled on the 16th; a phone “date” with a new friend with whom I have become quite fond in a short period of time; laundry, which always makes me wonder how a single guy can generate so much laundry over a seemingly brief period; helping one of my neighbors with some light chores (she…


Added by Pointbass on July 10, 2016 at 6:48am — 3 Comments

Aiming for more good days

I have been surprised by this winter, dark, rainy and cold it may have been but my social life is getting better, and some of my friends have been back in contact. Yesterday I had an overnight visit from my daughter and her family and we sat and watched old TV series from the 90s and talked about a lot of things.  The relationship there is getting better now and it seems as if we can talk about most things without too many subject changes.  Of course as time passes a lot of things lose their…


Added by only1sue on July 9, 2016 at 5:31am — 2 Comments

Pins, Cremains, and Loneliness

Some days are better than others. Some days, I can keep busy, and busy in the right ways that nothing sets me off. And then some days, I think of something. And I go to look at the Disney pins, because I haven't checked those in awhile, what with how sick Howard had been. And then I see some and think, "Oh! I could totally get those and stick them on his board for him, and when he comes home, he'll see more of the new... oh." And then I break down at work again.

It sneaks up on you,…


Added by Medea on July 9, 2016 at 5:30am — No Comments

The memorial was today..

It was horrible. It was beautiful but it's so final now. He's gone. I feel like I'll be a zombie forever. Or this person who doesn't care about anything anymore. I know people move on but not all people...

Added by Amg10 on July 8, 2016 at 5:40pm — 8 Comments

Cheating on My Wife???

I recently began conversing (long distance, via email, text and phone) with a new female friend. Our situations are quite similar, both suffering very recent losses, close in age and lifestyles, seemingly at the same level of education/intelligence … it has been very nice and comforting to be able to interact with someone since, for me, that type of interaction is a big part of the loss I feel.

Even our recent losses followed similar paths … not sudden, not unexpected, and…


Added by Pointbass on July 8, 2016 at 6:46am — 6 Comments

I don't know how to repky

I'm missing something I don't know how to reply to my 2 new comments?

Added by Amg10 on July 7, 2016 at 3:08pm — 2 Comments

Mchenry County, Lake County Il and South Wisconsin?

Just reaching out to see if there are folks in my area. There are a few Soaring Spirit meetups in Chicago and South and also in Madison but nothing in my neck of the woods. Thought perhaps one or two of you might live in the vicinity. I live in McHenry County Illinois. Lake Geneva Wisconsin and  Burlington Wisconsin is within easy driving distance as is Lake County Illinois towns....anyone in this area would love to get together let me know.  

Added by Hope on July 5, 2016 at 5:58am — No Comments

A Birthday Life Celebration

Bunny turned 70 last year (2015) and we were planning on having a party for her … that was a big deal because she hated being the center of attention and her agreeing to host a birthday party, being held for her, was quite the concession. Unfortunately, she was dead smack in the middle of the latest round of chemo treatments and she just didn’t have the stamina to put the party together or act as a cordial, social guest of honor for a full day.

So we agreed to have a “70 + 1”…


Added by Pointbass on July 4, 2016 at 3:36pm — 3 Comments

Bathroom Cleaning & Fourth of July

Br is going to come clean the mirror and remove the hearts in Howard's bathroom for me.

I felt so stupid asking, like someone was going to tell me to get over it and stop being a drama queen. I expected a friend to yell at me and berate me. It's weird that he didn't. No one said anything, though. Br said she'd do it, and Bl offered to come over and do it. And I feel kinda guilty. I'm mom. I've been mom. That's who I am, it's what I do. And I'm not good at being this broken, and I'm…


Added by Medea on July 4, 2016 at 1:30am — No Comments

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