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This site is run by widowed people, for widowed people

Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

All Blog Posts (4,415)

Surviving grief

There are countless issues around the passing of someone you love. There are also countless emotions. 

I wrote about all of the experiences I faced and have uploaded my audio book which may help you. The podcasts are not too long and I will be adding more in the next few weeks. 

This is the link http://www.youtube.com/channel/UCC-dTXOuihBeh5bRr1VR5aA

My husband died just over a year ago. I hope hearing…

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Added by Wendy on March 30, 2019 at 4:00pm — No Comments

More decisions I'd prefer not to make

Sometimes I want someone to put their arm across my shoulders, give me a squeeze and say : "You're okay mate, you're going to get through this and be better than ever." Unfortunately I don't have that person now and I have doubts about the " better than ever". I miss Ray so much, not the man he was necessarily when he died so much as the man he was in his middle years, that strong,  patient man who was my rock. That is the man who helped me bring up our kids. That was the man who didn't seem…

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Added by only1sue on March 29, 2019 at 6:27pm — 4 Comments

When I Close My Eyes

When I close my eyes, in the after image of the world still held there, I can catch you standing beside me. 

When I close my eyes, I see that sneaky little grin that told me you were about to be up to something. 

When I close my eyes, I see the you from before cancer decided to change your appearance but not your heart. 

When I close my eyes, the world seems oddly brighter and more colorful because you are there with me. 

When I close my eyes, I wish I never had…

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Added by MidnightBear (Tony) on March 27, 2019 at 2:34am — 1 Comment

Donna, A Photo Memoir Of Love and Loss

My wife Donna died in 2011. I was blessed to find Widowed Village and be introduced to Michele Neff Hernandez.

Early on in the group widowed in 2011 I found voices similar to mine who shared my fears and my grief. Voices that face the same struggles I did. I found my footing here and other places. Though in all honesty I will not abandon (close) my grief because I see closure as indifference and denial said pretty. I will not abandon Donna's memory or our/my love. My grief was a path…

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Added by Mark99 on March 18, 2019 at 7:03am — No Comments

35 Days

In 35 days my new year will begin. My new year of being a widow. I will finally have closed on my new house and should have moved. I have dealt with countless government agencies and started or stopped various things. I still cry almost every day. It is not as bad as the soul shattering relentless grief of the beginning. However I still find myself screaming into my pillow at times. I have done pretty much nothing people told me to do and stumbled around and did things my own way. I came…

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Added by Tekwriter on March 18, 2019 at 6:05am — No Comments

Help

Hi Lostandlonely,

I do have a suggestion. Try contacting Jennifer at the Heart Light Center in Denver CO,



Heartlight Center Inc., Grief Support in Denver Metro

https://www.heartlightcenter.org/ ; (720) 748-9908



When you reach Jennifer tell her where you are and that I suggested you call her. Ask her if she might have a suggestion for you for a Grief Group where you live or near by. With her professional…

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Added by Frank on March 13, 2019 at 3:23pm — 1 Comment

She Loved

She will Never hold his hand again

She will never hear him say her name again

She will never see his boyish smile again

She will never hear him say I love you again

She will never hear him say "it's going to be ok" again

She will always love him, that is certain

She will always be thankful for having him in her life

She will never forget the happiness she felt and shared with him

She will never regret one moment of their lives…

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Added by Lisa_says on March 7, 2019 at 5:48pm — 3 Comments

Reflection

The death of Tom has left me with profound sadness

39 years was just not enough time together

In the beginning I was just trying to survive his death

How do I move on/or through this terrible emotion: grief

Will I ever feel normal again

Time does not heal all wounds, but I will strive to come out the other side of grief

The sadness and despair will soften and fade with work and time

The grief of his death will always be mine to carry, but I…

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Added by jlsrdh on March 5, 2019 at 12:04pm — No Comments

Stuck

I know so many of us are in so many ways stuck in neutral.  Holding our breath, waiting for what we have been facing to go away, but it never will.  I find myself stuck in new ways.  I decided about 2 months ago to open the chance of finding someone new to bring into my life.  To open my heart to the possibility.  So I jumped on the online dating bandwagon.  Being a computer person and also a person who worked specifically in computer security, I actually relished the random fake profile…

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Added by MidnightBear (Tony) on March 2, 2019 at 11:30am — 4 Comments

I had a weird dream last night

Last night, I had a very strange dream, which is not unusual for me.

I dreamed I was in the cemetery, helping a couple of old High School classmates clean tombstones. In the dream, I cam across a new section, directly across the road from Arlene's section. So we start walking thru and I come across a large, black granite double stone, and buried there (and this is where it got weird) are Muddy Waters and Johnny Winter! And not only that, but built into the side is a video screen…

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Added by Don on February 27, 2019 at 6:07am — 3 Comments

Tests, scans and needles

We all have our troubles. I had another test today, a needle biopsy on my thyroid. I had four tests the week before last, the interview with the melanoma specialist last week and next week is the other brain scan to look at the aneurysm. Guess there is nothing wrong with me that I don't know about now. But what use is all of this if there is nothing they can do about any of it? I find it all very frustrating. I have so many conditions that simply relate to either ageing or family medical…

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Added by only1sue on February 26, 2019 at 7:30pm — 5 Comments

Noelene Tauris

Hi everyone, it is awhile since I posted. I have just gotten through the 1st anniversary of my husbands death. It was a very sad day but not as bad as I thought it would be. I went out with a friend who had lost her husband 18months before I lost mine. We went to a movie and then went to his favourite Thai restaurant for lunch, i had a glass of wine to toast him as he loved a glass of wine. My family and friends all posted lovely messages on facebook and my beautiful granddaughter sent me a…

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Added by Noelene T on February 17, 2019 at 4:26am — 10 Comments

4 years

Tomorrow, Feb. 17th, will mark 4 years since my husband's death. That was the last "normal" day of my life.  I died that evening too, and can't seem to come back to life.

I met my husband when I was 16, married at 18, and was 64 when he died.  So we were together for 48 years.  He was my first and only love.  He died in an instant from a blood clot to the heart.  He was a strong, healthy man who loved life.  I…

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Added by LandL (Linda) on February 16, 2019 at 11:25am — 9 Comments

Angry Lonely Hurt

I thought I was doing better. I survived ,Thanksgiving, Christmas was disappointing, and I made it through January 1st. I am into February and I am having the hardest time since last May. I had to go to the Dr. and get more medication. I am so angry. I am not angry at my husband. I am angry at people. Everyone that gets in my way. People sincerely annoy me. I have been trying to close on a house. The only thing I needed was a deposit from my military pay. I gave it to them on the 1st of…

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Added by Tekwriter on February 10, 2019 at 10:18am — 4 Comments

Taking stock

Sometimes I am just plain lonely. I might do something in the morning, come home and do a few simple tasks, cook a meal and wham! there it is, the loneliness,it comes rolling in like a wave. It affects me more on Friday nights and Sunday nights, those were the debriefing times when Ray and I had good health. Friday nights we would discuss what we had done through the week and Sunday nights we would talk about what happened over the weekend. I was thinking about that tonight,  without  a…

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Added by only1sue on February 3, 2019 at 3:30am — 1 Comment

Life Changes

I had a random thought this morning - I'm not who I was 6 1/2 months ago.  My husband's death has turned me into a different person, one that I don't know and don't want to be.  His passing set off a chain of events that was impossible to anticipate.  I read a quote on the internet a few minutes ago that stated "Death changes nothing".  No, death changes everything.  It has forced me into thinking differently, feeling differently, living a different life,…

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Added by Pegasus on January 28, 2019 at 9:03am — 7 Comments

Tense

So I mentioned this before, I am starting to navigate my way through online dating.  I find it amusing in a way at how behind I am even though I spend so much of my time building and recommending technology.  But I guess much of this really comes down to the dating side of things.  Sending messages to new people and even having a couple coffee dates with them.  For the most part I try to avoid chatting too much about my wife, I figure it isn't fair to the person I may want to get involved…

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Added by MidnightBear (Tony) on January 26, 2019 at 6:46pm — 4 Comments

Finding a way forward

It's close to the end of the summer vacation, some time in the next week all my grandchildren go back to school apart from Chris who will start University at the end of February. All my normal  summer activities start the following week, the more formal church services, pastoral visiting, the Friday Coffee morning. It is decision time for me as I decide whether to continue the activities or change some of them. There is always pressure to continue but in the end it is my choice. It is a…

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Added by only1sue on January 23, 2019 at 8:06pm — 1 Comment

How Do You Deal with Grief?

Since my husband died suddenly, I have good days and bad days. The tears hit me out of the blue.  I could be at work or on my way home or sitting on the couch and then I start crying.  I will hear a song on the radio that reminds me of him. I miss our life together.  I miss my husband and best friend.  How do you deal with grief?  It is hard for people to understand what I am going through right now. No one knows what to say to me. Being a widow is tough.  I have a good support network.

Added by GrievingandLost37 on January 20, 2019 at 11:15am — 3 Comments

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