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August 2013 Blog Posts (77)

Adoption

Its been 15 months since I lost my husband. Motorcycle accident. One announcement from the doctor and my life collapsed. Am 30 years old, my husband was 29. He loved children, he was pushing me to become pregnant, I didnt want. Economic crisis, the idea that we have all the life in front of us (so ironic), some of the reasons I was refusing. We were 7 years together, one year and three months married. 

Now am all alone. This guilt, that I dont have our baby now takes me back and I…

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Added by Savvaswife on August 22, 2013 at 8:00am — 3 Comments

DEALING WTIH SKIN HUNGER

I happened upon this website and just have to share it because it is brutally honest about the widow's/widower's loss and longing for skin-to-skin contact.

I hope the link works.

Peace.

http://outlawblogspot.blogspot.com/2005/10/skin-hunger.html

Added by Mariposa on August 21, 2013 at 3:36pm — 4 Comments

Sharing too Publicy

I have  a fairly public blog where I used to share every intimate detail of widowhood.  Now I'm terrified to do so.

I started crazywidow.info after theboitsons.info was no longer made for 2...I began documenting everything I was going through.  In the past year I renamed it brendaleefree.com to be more about my life in general, not just widowhood.  But now, especially after remarriage, I feel terrified to share about widowhood on my blog.  I think it mostly has to do with…

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Added by CrazyWidow on August 21, 2013 at 9:44am — 6 Comments

The Bucket List

Admittedly, we were dirty fighters while we were married. I was the queen of sarcasm, while Wingman's weapon of choice was blaming. He gave up playing in a band to marry me, his film editing career in NYC to be close to the kids and worked a job he particularly didn't enjoy to allow us to live the lives we lived.  I'm not going to say that his arguments were totally unfounded, yet I would counter that everyone makes compromises and sacrifices in life.

When Wingman died, I…

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Added by barbstar54 on August 21, 2013 at 6:08am — 4 Comments

Can you hear the Silence?

Can you hear the silence Tom?

The silence of my house?

The walls that used to be filled with laughter

Can't even give up any echoes for me to hear.

My life is full of misery.

I am left.

Why me?  Who said I was strong

enough to endure this pain,

this loneliness.

These walls that once held our happy family,

full of dreams of laughter

Now in silence have become my prison.

Can you hear the silence Tom?

The…

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Added by GracieM2012 on August 20, 2013 at 11:43pm — 1 Comment

Lego love

I absolutely love legos.  I have loved legos all my life and as a kid I had thousands of pieces.  No kits, mind you.  Kits did not exist way back then.  You just bought boxes of pieces and lego plates.  I would get boxes every birthday with a card that said, "build your dreams, my beautiful daughter, the sky is the limit."  

All my kids have legos and are lego nerds.  They have pieces but they also have sets.  They have different sets from many different themes.  I also love…

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Added by pottergirl on August 20, 2013 at 11:47am — 2 Comments

Give the gift of words today.

I woke up early this morning. I have not been sleeping as well as I would like...I'm transitioning in my career (again. If you only knew), my daughter is away with friends until later today (I can't help but worry about her traveling without Daddy), I'm rebuilding my soul and I ate way too many chocolate chip cookies before bed. I love those little demons.

Through all of the tiredness, all of the thoughts and all of the rolling from one side of my huge king size bed to the…

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Added by smileanywayNJ on August 20, 2013 at 4:02am — 10 Comments

(Don't Fear) The Reaper

I had a nightmare as a kid about the bogey man climbing up through a hole in the bedroom closet floor. He wore a harlequin suit, had a spiked nose to match the knife he carried, and cut my hand off when I turned on the light switch next to the closet. For years, I used a pencil or ruler to flick the switch from outside the room, fearing having him leave me with a bloody stump.

Then there was this crazy neighbor with red hair and freckles who had even crazier friends.  They…

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Added by barbstar54 on August 20, 2013 at 2:53am — No Comments

Our Bench

          I've started running...again..  was never the fastest...  always proud to be in the middle of the pack. Tended to wonder about those at the back.. Of course the back is were I am now!  

         20 years ago, stumbled upon a great group of women.. and one or two "token males"  lol.. we've run/walked together through life... participating in fun road races,  discussing life events... raising our children, discussing colleges, our jobs, our husband's jobs, our…

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Added by Patience on August 19, 2013 at 10:30am — 7 Comments

Did you really just say that to me?

There were many times, especially in the beginning of my grief, when I turned to someone with a look that said, “What did you just say to me?” I have to say, though, that in comparison to some women I’ve talked to, the number of ignorant remarks I had to endure was slimmer than what they experienced. Some of the most irritating comments came in the form of “At least you’re still young, so you can have another child” or “You’re looking so good today!” Um, excuse me?? I do not need…

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Added by Elizabeth on August 19, 2013 at 8:38am — 5 Comments

Great news(new career) and bad news (estate problems)

The bad news first - because that's more dramatic.

At least one of John's daughters or stepdaughters has requested - as personal property - the stove and fridge he paid for in January last year. They have also listed the built in wardrobe and the decking renovation…

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Added by aussiewidow on August 18, 2013 at 6:05pm — 8 Comments

TOXIC FAMILY RELATIONSHIPS (With a Brother-in-law)

I am trying to maintain family connections since my husband's death some 20 months ago, but it is a challenge with his side of the family. My husband was an angry, difficult man and we lived walking on egg shells. It is clear that his whole family is similar.

In the past year or so, the two brother-in-laws who do call, (there are five total), attempted to circumvent speaking with me by continuously calling my son on his cell phone. This started when my son was just 14 and he is now…

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Added by Mariposa on August 18, 2013 at 7:06am — 2 Comments

He showed me well

God gave me this precious soul. 

He was and still is a gift to me. 

He showed me everything.

He showed me how to live.

He showed me how to hope.

He showed me how to love.

He showed me how to suffer with dignity.

Though he couldn't show me how to say goodbye, he showed me how to die.

I don't have to like the pain. 

I can still cry.

But I do not want to deny the legacy,

the lessons,

the gifts that I received…

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Added by katjames on August 18, 2013 at 5:30am — 1 Comment

Allow Little Children to Come Unto Me

Allow Little Children to Come Unto Me

Then were there brought unto him little children, that he should put his hands on them, and pray: and the disciples rebuked them.  But Jesus said, “Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven.” And he laid his hands on them, and departed thence. Matthew 19: 13-15

Paraphrase:

 “Allow little children to come unto me, do not…

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Added by Maria Louisa on August 17, 2013 at 3:23pm — No Comments

sWEEt Dream

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Added by hendrixx2 on August 17, 2013 at 11:00am — 2 Comments

So Sad

I just want to write a little of my story my beloved husband of 35 years past away suddenly Dec. 28 2012.My hole life stopped that day and has since I seem to not exists. I had been married since being a teenager I left my parents house and we became a couple the day he died our last child had been gone for 6 months and that was a challenge in itself cried for weeks but my husband said Baby this is our time we really enjoyed ourselves those few months. I think of nothing but him every second…

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Added by Tosudden on August 17, 2013 at 10:13am — 1 Comment

Get me off this rollercoaster!

I compare grief to riding a loop-filled roller coaster with the highest mountains and longest tunnels you could ever imagine. It’s not an easy ride to get through, and at times it makes you feel physically sick. I completely lost my appetite for the first few months after each loss. And I never knew what emotions I was going to wake up with each morning. There was no pattern to my feelings. I was completely unpredictable.

I’d have days when I’d want to lie in bed until three in the…

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Added by Elizabeth on August 16, 2013 at 1:46pm — No Comments

Today Has Been A Very Good Day

Today started out so so.

Then some coincidental good things happening this morning. After that, I felt Cindy's presence in such a good and powerful way. Made me smile so much and caused a couple of tears. Tears of powerful joy feeling her so close.

I was at very large business gathering today too. Some people hadn't seen me since Cindy passed. Rather than the usual - that's a topic to be avoided... People were offering their condolences. People wanted to hear the circumstances of her… Continue

Added by Mac on August 15, 2013 at 6:44pm — 9 Comments

LUNCH At HIS FAVORITE RESTAURANT WITH MY SON

Monday, August 12, 2013, has marked 20 months since I lost my life partner and husband of 20 years 10 months of marriage. We were a couple since I was 18 years old, so overall, we were a couple for 28 years of my life. (SIGH!)

Ed and I dated for seven years, then we suddenly married and moved away. He CHANGED almost immediately. It was a marriage with plenty of challenges and problems. I loved him way too much, and the love for this angry, difficult man just would not go away.  I…

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Added by Mariposa on August 15, 2013 at 3:38pm — 3 Comments

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