All I have is hope
Hope for peace
Hope for a life that has purpose
Hope for companionship
But my hope is like dry sand,
it is easily blown away
and holds no shape
Then I add faith
and the wind ceases to blow
I can feel the peace
Then I add love
and hope takes shape
I can find purpose in life
For I now have companionship on the journey
Thank you Widville…Continue
When I first lost Yuri, the world I knew ceased to exist. I was fragile, disconnected, and lost. My identity was shattered and I was left with these pieces to put together. I attempted what was routine for me in those early months, in effort to try to remember who I was. That failed. I would only then be slapped in the face with the reality that I couldn't live my life as I knew it anymore. I had to change. In the beginning, I was facing all of those secondary losses. I could no longer…Continue
I sit in this room listening to the rain fall, no other voices, no noise except the country radio station that fades in an out. My mind is racing telling me what I should do but my body makes no moves. I swear I see the walls moving in closer and closer until I could scream. I want out of this box Im buried in. I want to run but nowhere to run to. How do i do this "Starting Over?"I cant breathe so I take a walk. I look at this beautiful earth and wonderful how my life got turned upside down.…Continue
Well..i did it. I changed my profile picture to just "Me" instead of "Me and Paul". The reason for this is simple. It is just "me" now. I am still wearing my wedding ring, still feel "married" to my baby, I do not wish to date, but, I felt it was an important step in "moving forward" for me. I think it will help me accept there isn't an "us" anymore. I am not sure what has given me this new found attitude, except the passing of time. And I am certain, that this doesn't mean I'm done…Continue
♥ I have always cherished our rings a true symbol of our love and devotion. I remember the part in our vow 'In sickness & in health' that Ed applies to us during this time in our life. The ICU nurses handed me your wedding ring and at that exacted moment I slipped in on my finger to keep until I can return it to your finger. I love you and miss you my wonderful husband. We have been through a lot
Added by M'LADY on September 28, 2012 at 7:00pm — No Comments
''If I could save time in a bottle, The first thing that I'd like to do, Is to save everyday,
Till Eternity passes away, Just to spend them with you...'' …Continue
These are the words to the song my husband is singing. The YouTube link was sent to me by his dear friend and choir director. The men's choir was a passion of my husband, Mark. He loved to sing, loved to share his gift with everyone. "He had a remarkable voice and he will be truly missed." so many have said. The words ring in my head and oh how I'd longed to hear that voice just one more time. He'd wanted to do a…Continue
I ran across a quote yesterday from one of my favorite people..Eleanor. She speaks to me like no other, and for me, her words always ring true. A practical down to earth woman, ridiculed for not being "pretty" or "eloquent" enough to be first lady, she had a quiet unwavering strength that I admire, and wish to possess. Here is the quote that struck me, and gave me hope:
"You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look…Continue
What the Hell is wrong with me??? I thought I was doing better - in fact, I was almost ready to tell people I was doing okay - and all of the sudden for the last 3 weeks life has just been hell bent on putting me in my place. What's that you say? You think you might feel better? TAKE THAT!!! I can't turn a corner without looking for him, I can't sleep, I can't work, I can't study, I CAN'T BREATHE. I cry so hard my heart starts skipping and I have to stop breathing to see if I'm still alive.…Continue
Although I have had other losses in my life and this being a 2nd time Widow.... Each Journey and Grief has it's on path.
For awhile I was stuck.. in the pain and loss, of the dreams that were not be. Of the little things I loved so much.. and even of some of the things a wife..complains about. Now I would love to find whiskers in the sink, laundry that didn;t quite make the hamper..Things left in pants pockets..before doing laundry.
With the help of this site.. I learned I…Continue
I hate that word. That one word makes me feel so powerless. I hate the way people look at me, or the way they talk to me. You know the head tilt, the sigh, and the "how are you doing?" However they wouldn't have cared 10 seconds before. I know it shouldn't bother me as much as it does, but it does. I want to be normal. I want people to treat me normal. Treating me like I'm broken just makes me feel even more broken than I already am.
Widows are portrayed at old women,…Continue
Please pray for me. After months of pain and fatigue and doctors who passed out pain pills and anti-depressants like they were candy, I finally have been diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis. While I am glad that I finally have a diagnosis, I am afraid. My sons are grown and gone. I am alone. I ask that you give wisdom to the doctors who will treat me and that they find a drug therapy that will give me some relief.
I feel like I'm being kicked when I'm down.…Continue
Oh the tears of joy. The Quilt is done, it is complete and it is beautiful. I love it. I absolutely love it. And as an added surprise the ladies added a label with his picture on it on the back corner to commemorate the quilt. I am beside myself. I am so emotional right now I can barely type but I wanted to put this up. I added it to Facebook because I just had to share. I am happy to have this with me. John, honey, I know you love this.…Continue
something I wrote to Spence tonight, thought I'd share:
One thing I wish that I would have been more in tune with when you were alive is what YOU wanted to go and do. If I regret one thing, it is that I never jumped up and got excited about the things that you expressed you wanted to do, or would enjoy doing if we were given the chance.
For example, two things that pop into my head, going to yard sales…