I went to the Lymphodema Clinic to get fitted with my new pressure garments, while the waist to knee garment was a good fit the stockings, knee to toe were too long. The fitter phoned the distributor to ask why the wrong size had been supplied the answer came back : " We no longer supply the size you requested....". That same answer applies to so many different aspects of my life for instance the spare parts for repairing taps etc, living in an older house as I do I can no longer get a…Continue
Just started to come out of my depression fog after losing my husband unexpectedly 15 months ago, today I get news that they found a lump on my brothers pancreas. He had been losing so much weight. I can't cope with this, I am not emotionally ready to even think about this. I want to escape again from reality. But also my brother will need me. So shattered. Life is exhausting.
Added by Kevin on September 19, 2019 at 6:00am — No Comments
Added by Kevin on September 19, 2019 at 3:54am — No Comments
So, last night was one of those nights, one of those times, where I just broke down into a deep sorrowful cry. It came out of nowhere. Maybe it was because I had things to do yesterday so I tried to be normal which is an understatement. Holding in your emotions to get through each and every day is rough, tough, and almost unbearable. It's so exhausting. So, at the end of the day when I could relax, I think it hit me. I usually cry throughout the day here and there, but yesterday I had things…Continue
I was with my spouse for almost 50 years. I have been widowed for three months. I miss his touch so much. When someone has touched you almost every day for 50 years how do you forget the feeling. I don’t want to forget the feeling yet I don’t want to remember the feeling because it hurt so much.I’m scared I’m going to forget the feeling of his touch . But yet it hurts to remember.
I have realized that I have been trying to find words to use that do not cause anyone pain or hardship. I have been trying to hold all my emotions in except in the early morning hours and late nights when I close myself off. Do you know how uncomfortable people become, even close family and friends, when you show your grief to them? I'm sure you do. I try so hard not to cause anyone pain or grief from my pain and grief. I made most of my family and friends stay…Continue
On July 27, 2019, my husband passed away unexpectedly where I was the one to discovered and held his lifeless body that I was sure someone could fix. But, even as he was rushed to the hospital, no one could bring him back to me.
It's still very raw and fresh: the stabbing aching pain, the breakdowns, the not realizing he is really gone on some occasions, the anxiety, the remembering looking into my husband's lifeless eyes when I pulled him into my arms. It's all so raw and…Continue
I’m blogging again on my site, the Hungover Widow, after being off for a year and a half. Blogging can be lonely. But I’m back with, “Recovering from Extreme Loneliness or Don’t Trust a Guy with 19 Guitars who Wants to Move in with You.” Its about how I wanted so much to be partnered,…Continue