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October 2018 Blog Posts (13)

Oh what a year can change

today is Halloween. I year ago today I retired. Who knew that 10 months later I my husband would die and in an instant I became a widow. We had so many future retirement plans. All gone in that moment with his death. No warning. Heart arrack. Now, so many changes. It’s not like I have a choice. My best friend, and partner of 38 years is gone. Tom was so handy, as a child if he could not figure out how something worked he took it apart. He could fix anything. I was the helper and cleanup…

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Added by jlsrdh on October 31, 2018 at 2:52pm — 3 Comments

So true, found on Facebook

Added by Mrs Bear on October 24, 2018 at 11:23pm — 6 Comments

Not So Subtle Reminders

I am rolling closer and closer to 1 year, and I find that more and more people are dropping hints and reminders that 1 year is right around the corner.  At first it was subtle, hey if you want to come hang out in a couple weeks, let us know.  But as the days tick on, the subtlety seems to be disappearing and folks are being more and more overt.  I am trying to be kind and not push back.  For me, so far anyway, it isn't the day that is actually worrying to me.  See for me remembering and…

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Added by MidnightBear (Tony) on October 22, 2018 at 5:43pm — 4 Comments

2 months

yesterday was October 20 which is 2 months since my husband Tom suffered a heart attack and died. So last night was one of those nights where I hardly slept. Remembered how I found him on the floor, blue face eyes open with purples fixed and dialiated. I did CPR, until  the police and paramedics arrived. They did everything possible in the house and at the hospital, but to no avail. My grief counselor says not to watch to much tv.  It’s noise in a to quiet house. It’s something that helps…

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Added by jlsrdh on October 21, 2018 at 2:58pm — 8 Comments

Not Me

After this last couple weeks of recovering from hitting the end of one set of goals and really have no more set right in front of me, it started to really dawn on me that I am not myself.  But what really does that mean?  For years I would make muffins every couple weeks and we would freeze them up to warm for breakfast to go with our oatmeal.  They were about 60 calories each the way we made them, little mini breakfast muffins, but they filled out breakfast well and kept me going until my…

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Added by MidnightBear (Tony) on October 15, 2018 at 11:48am — 4 Comments

When love becomes anger

Tomorrow is my husband´s birthday. He would be turning 51. Body hasn´t been released yet since August 2nd.

I´ve been reading a lot about the phases of grief and all those stuff to see if I can find myself on any of those posts... But no. Feeling most part of the time alone and numb, I´ve made a good friend here who talks to me. And I´ve hidden even from him my two suicide attempts in this time. Don´t know what´s going on, every day it goes I feel more and more anger and hate about my…

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Added by Bruna.in.pain on October 14, 2018 at 3:24pm — 4 Comments

When love becomes anger

Tomorrow is my husband´s birthday. He would be turning 51. Body hasn´t been released yet since August 2nd.

I´ve been reading a lot about the phases of grief and all those stuff to see if I can find myself on any of those posts... But no. Feeling most part of the time alone and numb, I´ve made a good friend here who talks to me. And I´ve hidden even from him my two suicide attempts in this time. Don´t know what´s going on, every day it goes I feel more and more anger and hate about my…

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Added by Bruna.in.pain on October 14, 2018 at 3:22pm — No Comments

Taking Care

Dear God, just checking in, as I do every day, to thank you for taking care of my Bob.  I know he's free of illness and pain up there with you and that he's happy being reunited with his parents and brother, but I sure do wish that you'd seen fit to let him stay with me and our children a few more years.  That may be selfish but I know you understand.  There'll never be another like him in my life.  He was my first and he'll be my last.  Throughout the years…

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Added by Pegasus on October 12, 2018 at 7:15am — 1 Comment

The End of the Pavement

Throughout the 27 years I was together with my wife either dating or married, we worked on setting out targets.  The targets were generally near term but we had a few longer term plans.  Many of our longer term plans were about things we were going to do together when we retired in about 7 to 9 years from now.  Trips to national parks and other countries, visiting family and generally being free to do what we wanted when we wanted.  Joining a few charities and the like.  When my wife got…

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Added by MidnightBear (Tony) on October 10, 2018 at 10:29am — 2 Comments

Birthdays

Last week I had my birthday. Next week it will be Sean's birthday. His first since he has been gone. Our birthdays are 13 days less than a year apart. So for 13 days we were the same age. Only this year, he wont be going ahead of me anymore. This year I get to be the same age as him for a whole year. Then next year, I will be older than he will ever be. Sean worked away a lot so not being present with each other on our actual birthdays was not unusual. I didn't really miss him as such on my…

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Added by Miss Em (Emma) on October 9, 2018 at 4:53pm — 4 Comments

Making Progress

Progress has been very slow but as my husband always said, "It may be slow but it's progress as long as it's moving forward."  Today I am waiting for the arrival of two tow trucks to pick up Bob's two vans.  I'm donating them to a charity that uses the proceeds to fund the education of under privileged children.  One is good for nothing but scrap, the other is old but runs fine.  They're happy to get them and I will be happy to have them gone.  Donating the vans is my first act of releasing…

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Added by Pegasus on October 8, 2018 at 12:05pm — 4 Comments

Loss

 Almost three weeks ago I lost a man whom has been important in my life. He was  the man  I went out with in 2016.We had an argument and didn't see each other for some months but we moved in the same circles so decided that a cup of coffee in the shopping centre was okay maybe once a week. From there we built a strong friendship, resumed a meet up once a month at a couple of markets and generally supported each other. For that reason I have visited the hospital and helped his family work…

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Added by only1sue on October 8, 2018 at 12:59am — 3 Comments

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