As a widow I try to live life one day at a time. As a member of a couple both when Ray was well and afterwards when he had the series of strokes I would plan at least three weeks ahead. Now I am not that optimistic, I do put all my engagements on the calendar and hope nothing happens in between but I no longer have the confidence that life will happen the way I plan it. I used to be a really confident person but somewhere in the past seven years that changed. Maybe it is something to do with…Continue
But really, I don't want to go, Short of pulling the "W" card, how do I get out of this? I'd be going alone, I don't do weddings well anyway and about the last thing I want to deal with is risking a DUI, because I WILL drink at it and its in New Jersey and I live on Staten Island, so a cab isn't an option. How the Hell do I get out of this gracefully?
As the sun slips into the morning sky, the rays pierce my tired eye. I rise to start another day, lost without you trying to find my way. Sleepless nights to avoid the dreams, wading through a torrent of screams. Trying to find peace of mind, losing my soul in this daily grind. Wandering under a sky so blue, I stumble through these thoughts of you. Another day comes to an end, these letters I've written with nowhere to send.Continue
October 16, he would have been 61. We would have celebrated. I would have made him a birthday apple pie. Instead, I will be at Arlington National Cemetery to bury the ashes of my husband, the love of my life. When the funeral planner finally called to set a date, I chose his birthday for a few reasons, the first being that this former day of celebration has turned into another hard, sad day to get through. Rather than add another sad event date to the calendar, I will honor his wishes to…Continue
This is the week.
This is the week Ron finally went to the doctor, after I came back to Jakarta from the US for my father's memorial service and came back with a raging respiratory infection and Samantha's asthma was acting up so Ron was 3rd to go to the doctor.
This is the week where Ron looked at me across our bedroom and said,"what if it is something serious?" and I said, "It won't be, but if it is, we will deal with it."
This is the week where after the ultrasound…Continue