This site is run by widowed people, for widowed people

Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

November 2013 Blog Posts (45)

Bed sheets make me sad

My partner and I didn't live together but he stayed at my place a lot last summer. When I bought my house 3 1/2 years ago I bought a twin bed for myself because I knew it would be cold sleeping alone in a bigger bed, bedding for bigger beds is more expensive, and, because I was leaving an unfulfilling relationship I wasn't at all interested in getting involved in another one, so the twin bed doubled as a statement about my status.

Then David came along. After a summer of…


Added by Rosemary on November 11, 2013 at 12:00pm — 2 Comments

Uncharted Waters

Uncharted waters we are sailing in.
We've already learned in such a big way that we can't predict the future.
So try to trust in it and certainly have some fun.
All will be revealed. We can count on that!

Added by Mac on November 10, 2013 at 4:22pm — 1 Comment

You can go half way around the world….

and find out some things:

1) I'm in South Africa, volunteering in an after school program for high school students.  They  get out of their school early and arrive here at 10 or noon.  They study very hard and stay often until 6 pm.  The days they come are Tuesday through Sunday.  It is very intense work as these students have been selected to receive this extra boost so that they may rise up out of their circumstances and have opportunities they might otherwise never have…


Added by Pat on November 10, 2013 at 10:28am — 5 Comments

My Roses - Australian Love Story ONE MAN'S LOVE FOR HIS WIFE

From  The West Australian October 15th  2013   by Pip Christmass 

(shortened version of the original article)

Love  fires late calling.

When Perth* war veteran Stan Hopewell turned 80, he picked up brush and started painting for the first time in his life.  But it  wasn’t a late-life sea change or sudden desire to uncover his hidden inner artist that impelled this unassuming octogenarian to put paint…


Added by my roses on November 9, 2013 at 11:49pm — 1 Comment


This was posted on FB by a friend of my named Glori Beth.

Speaks both to the wisdom of the person who wrote it and the value of bereavement groups.


There was a couple who used to go to England to shop in the beautiful stores. They both liked antiques and pottery and especially teacups. This was their twenty-fifth wedding anniversary. One day in this beautiful shop they saw a beautiful teacup. They said, "May we see that? We've never seen one quite so…


Added by Morgana (Janet) on November 9, 2013 at 12:50pm — 2 Comments

"My grief and pain are mine. I have earned them. They are part of me. Only in feeling them do I open myself to the lessons they can teach." - Anne Wilson Schaef

"My grief and pain are mine. I have earned them. They are part of me. Only in feeling them do I open myself to the lessons they can teach." - Anne Wilson Schaef

Hard to believe that 9 months ago my world was turned upside down, inside out. Somedays its like it just happened, other days it feels like ages have past. I still find myself waiting to see him and talk to him. He's the first thing I think about when I wake and the…


Added by melancholia on November 9, 2013 at 12:07pm — No Comments


Slide Image

"O My Father, I have moments of deep unrest -- moments when I know not what to ask by reason of the very excess of my wants. I have in these hours no words for Thee, no conscious prayers for Thee. My cry seems purely worldly; I want only the wings of a dove that I may flee away. Yet all the time Thou has accepted my unrest as a…


Added by my roses on November 9, 2013 at 6:25am — 1 Comment

The "Mourner's Bill of Rights" from grief expert Dr Alan Wolfelt

My roses 9th November 2013 

Let us be comforted by this knowledge and use it on our journey

Mourners Bill of Rights


The following list is intended both to empower you to heal and to decide how others can and cannot help. This is not to discourage you from reaching out to others for…


Added by my roses on November 9, 2013 at 5:35am — No Comments

A bird part 2

"poor little birdie, why don't you tweet?"  The lady really was nice, and I appreciate the rest and the birdseed and even the water.  I loved the little mirror, for a second.  I thought my mate returned, then realized that couldn't be.  I thought then that one of my bird friends stopped by.  but of course, they don't know where I am... I don't know where I am either.   I want to go home, I really do, but I want the home from before.  I want the nest, I want my mate to be there,  I want the…


Added by halfofawhole (lynn) on November 8, 2013 at 11:33am — No Comments

How I'm Feeling

Kind of feeling like a busted clock spring. Wound so tight it moans and stretches until it can stand no more then releases, in an instant, into an unwound pile of confusion. This is me. I am consumed in guilt, confusion and loneliness.

Why couldn’t I have done more to prevent her death? What could I have done? I don’t know, but I feel like there was something I overlooked. Something I missed. Something I should have been able to do. After all I am a man and so, by nature, a problem…


Added by bamamike on November 8, 2013 at 11:30am — 4 Comments

And the Counseling Journey Continues

My counselor, Tom, now has me in the Imaginative part of the counseling.  Originally, I was supposed to write out a memory with as much detail as possible and record it and play it back every day.  Now I am to write it out every day, since music seems to trigger the strongest emotional responses Tom decided we would start there but to avoid the group and song that really rips me apart, at least for now.

 Here is the first memory:


Driving down the highway, Steve and I…


Added by Aeleice on November 8, 2013 at 3:22am — 1 Comment


My roses  8th November 2013 

Thank you ALL for your comments about The Journey poem.  It just poured out of me yesterday. Feeling as if I was in an invisible bubble  when at an Art Festival.  Everybody holding hands, families at play on the oval... only me walking around on my own. Have just had an email from a friend  which gave me a sense of peace. This is it.  I did not want to feel this sorrow for years.  I still love and always will love my Wes, but felt it may be nice to have…


Added by my roses on November 7, 2013 at 11:00pm — No Comments

Where to start?!?!?!

Dan has been gone almost 14 months.  I have done nothing with his things.  But, I am getting that feeling that I'm ready.  My problem.....where do I start??  I know that I want to have a quilt made from his T-Shirts and give the rest of his clothes and shoes that are in good condition to a nursing home that our church helps sponsor.  It's just the stuff in his part of the storage room.....I just don't know where to start.  I said this to my mom, and in all her wisdom, she said, "Start with…


Added by Susan D (Profe D) on November 7, 2013 at 1:59pm — 2 Comments

The Difference

This has been running through my head for a few days now.  I finally gave in and wrote it all down.  Not sure if it makes sense or not.  It did make sense in my head.

The Difference

Talking with another widow, the topic of broken hearts come up. I don't remember the entire conversation, but she asked me "aren't our hearts broken too?"…


Added by EverydayMorning (Sam) on November 7, 2013 at 7:01am — 8 Comments

And the Ice Heaves and Rolls

My Darling Court,

It's Autumn here. The cool South Dakota winds have crept in enough to chill the bones. The Pheasants shutter with any sound and flush up with their beautiful spanned wings as they call out with that deep throaty pitch.

I'm watching the cat tails slowly dry and fade, and the marsh grasses turn that earthy tone of brown. All signs of winter peaking around the corner.

I look at our lake everyday. The waves are churning and tumbling more now Babe with…


Added by nanaliv (Mandy) on November 6, 2013 at 4:30pm — 3 Comments


My roses 6th November  2013

The Journey

You are my hearts delight

And where you are I long to be

When you were there  our world seemed right.

I felt at peace -  and feeling free.


Now  I am living through the night

A place I do not want to be

Its all because your out of  sight

And daily I’m in reverie.


I think of you no matter what

And set aside the daily tasks

Things to do but I…


Added by my roses on November 6, 2013 at 7:17am — 2 Comments

your absent voice

The air conditioner breathes its steady purr.

Footsteps creak the floor above.

Sirens wail somewhere across town.

The clock ticks relentlessly,

marking the time we no longer have.

The silence of your absent voice is deafening....

I strain to recall the pitch.

I imagine I hear the tears

etching their path across my cheeks,

cry so hard no sound escapes.

I laugh out loud to…


Added by rodsgurl09 on November 5, 2013 at 8:17am — 2 Comments

5th and 6th are always hard

Today marks 20 months since my world was turned upside down. The morning of March 5, 2012 I was freaking out because Patrick was supposed to be admitted to the hospital the following Monday for a week for med changes and all the tests needed to be listed for a kidney transplant.  Looking back now it makes me laugh at how stressed out I really was about that week hospital stay. 

He called me at 11:50 to tell me what time he had to be there, and that they started a new med and…


Added by EverydayMorning (Sam) on November 5, 2013 at 6:21am — 2 Comments

Cracks and Mortar

I write to you my sweetheart as I always did and now continue to do again.

Today I find myself thinking of cracks in a cement wall that need to be re-opened, sanded down to a fine finish, filled with fresh mortar and new stones carefully placed before they set.

I can see you shaking your head and saying with a slight giggle to my thoughts, "Huh?"

Let me explain.......

It's almost 2 years now since you died. Life is trying to creep in and continue on with out you.…


Added by nanaliv (Mandy) on November 4, 2013 at 12:53pm — 3 Comments

Affects of the Counseling

I had to share this as to me it has been a complete shock of the change that has been going on. 

About two weeks ago I went to my usual grocery store that has a butcher shop in it and after I placed my order I went to pick up a few items and was going to return to get my packaged meat, well, when I got back the area was clear and the butcher told me how pretty I was, needless to say I know I went beet red as I could feel the heat in my cheeks, I laughed it off and told him to have a…


Added by Aeleice on November 3, 2013 at 7:44pm — 5 Comments

Monthly Archives












© 2018   Created by Soaring Spirits.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service