If the musical "Rent" is to be believed, it's the ideal unit of measure of a year in one's life.
As this calendar year comes to a close, I reflect upon that word and the way its meaning has grown and shifted in ways I could never have imagined. How would I measure my life in love for 2011?
My husband died in February, his last heart beat coming a mere 60,480…Continue
New Year's Eve is here. The one day I was dreading more than Christmas, because I'm going to be alone, or I thought I was, but I think Richard had other plans for me. I was cleaning the basement today, trying to keep busy to keep my mind off things. I found a bag of cassette tapes - you know the old-fashioned kind. I was going to pitch it, because I figured if I didn't know what was in it, I wouldn't miss it. Well, I tied the bag shut, and picked it up to throw in the garbage. As I…Continue
Another happy new year? No not really. Had hope last new year but that was taken away with the death of my husband. So what I wish for all of us this year is peace in the knowing we were not only loved but continue to be loved by our spouses/significant others. They are our angels watching over us every step of the way. Here is to the peace in knowing we are still loved and cared for until we are reunited. Peace and blessings to all.
Added by Marsha on December 31, 2011 at 1:36pm — No Comments
Strong and bad. Words I did not especially like when they were used in reference to widow/ers. Strong! No one knew how I was falling apart inside. They didn’t see the tears and the rage behind closed doors. Nothing strong about that! Then I came to widowed village. Strong….yes. People who knew what it took to get up one more day and put one foot in front of the other. People who knew what true strength meant. Yes we are strong. Not by choice but damn it we are moving forward and we are…Continue
New Years Eve, a time for rejoicing and starting new. A time when all hopes and dreams seem not only possible but plausible. A time to believe in the promise the future holds. Last New Years Eve Brian and I cuddled on the couch and watched t.v. together. We talked about how 2011 was going to be a better year. We believed that 2011 was going to be the year that we could get the cancer to go away (which it was) at least for a little while.....little did we know our lives would be turned upside…Continue
I've started woking towards my new year already. Trying to stay positive, trying to stay busy, trying to return to my true self, the person I was for the past 46 years, the person my husband fell in love with. KC's death changed so many things in my life, things that are out of my control like my future, being alone, be heart broken, lack of sleep, and a million other things that KC would of been here to help with or do for me. But I don't want to lose the core of who I have been my…Continue
I am stuck in mud, dirty black yucky mud. Wet mud, the kind of mud that sticks to the bottom of your feet as you trudge thru it. The same mud that is slippery and makes you slip and slide and always, always makes you land on your ass.
I am tired of mud. I am tired of mopping up the mud, vacuming up the mud, knocking the mud off my shoes, cleaning off the two puppies whose main purpose in life is to dig in the mud.
Today, I watched my two huskys digging and digging hole after…Continue
Loosing Greg was more than just losing a person
Yes its about losing him physically,
Who he is as a person.
But for me its more than just that
Its about all the other roles that Greg played in my life
Its about losing the person that I was going to spend the rest of my life with, my companion
Grow old together plagued by arthritis, bad eye sight and hard hearing
Its about losing our…Continue
For many months now, I often find myself asking …
Is it (grief, sleeping issues, eating issues, etc) always going to be like this?
How much longer is it going to be this way?
When is this (transition) going to change?
is this (insert grief symptom) going to end?
is this (insert grief symptom) going to change?
It’s been a difficult week, month, year.
I’m tired. I’m tired of everything.
It’s hard at times to think that some of these…Continue
Added by Greggies Widow on December 29, 2011 at 5:46pm — No Comments
I decided to take a break after a breakdown taking down my son's crib, aversion of setting up a printer and reorganizing this house in the 24 hours that my mom has given to me. Thoughts are roaring through my head.
I continued to brew on my blog The Pursuit of Happiness During the Holidays... it dawned on me, and perhaps you saw it before me, but that I don't like that others are consumed with normal life activities because my life came to a standstill. I'm jealous and superior at…Continue
Added by perdi177 on December 29, 2011 at 2:13pm — No Comments
How much more can I take? I hate you for leaving me to deal with this. You have been dead for a year and half and its been nothing but shit rolling down hill, hitting me. I have gone through:
2 dog surgeries
Mom almost losing her company
Mom moving in
Both mom's cars dying, so I get to drive her everywhere
Mom's office moving into the house so she's here all the time
The house being foreclosed on, not due to me not paying rent
Took a 4 job to…Continue
We made it through Christmas. The first one of many without Brian. I have always been adamant about the kids waking up in their own home on Christmas morning. One year, six years ago to be exact, (just before our lives fell changed forever) we went to Alabama for Christmas to spend it with Brian's dad and step-mom. That was the one and only year we did not stay home for Christmas.....until now. I just couldn't be home this year, I could not wake up on Christmas morning without my Brian next…Continue
Well, that is pretty obvious, and it is equally obvious that I won't get it.
This season has me thinking of all the years we spent together, all the Christmases together. I remember the very first one, we had been dating less than a month and I got a phone call from a mutual friend who told me that Brian had bought me a Christmas present. So, there I was on Christmas Eve, out shopping to buy this guy that I hardly knew something for Christmas. I bought him a shirt....the funny thing…Continue
My husband, Ray, died on 2/25/2008 from lots of things. He went into the hospital with severe colitis and ended up getting weaker and weaker from fighting off pneumonia, sepsis, and a staph infection.
I was holding him when he took his last breath and I wish he would have taken me with him. (I'm not suicidal - it's just that life isn't as wonderful without him in it).
I'm 56 years old. I have a good job, so his death didn't hit me too hard financially, except during the…Continue
I met Will in April 2007. He had just turned 20 and I was 21. We met at a club that I had never been to before and had not gone back since. Our meeting was completely by chance and when we exchanged numbers, I didn't think much of it. When he called me a couple of days later, I knew that there was something special there. It was like our souls recognized each other. We had so much fun and we in love so deeply and it was as if we were meant to be. He fit me and I fit him. I saw him…Continue
I received this in a frame from one of my friends for Christmas and I though it was so beautiful I wanted to share
Merry Christmas from heaven
I still hear the songs,
I still see the lights,
I still feel your love on cold wintery nights
I still share your hopes and all of your cares
At this time last year Joe and I were on our long awaited honeymoon in Punta Cana. This day last year we were sitting on the beach having margaritas brought to us, I can still see Joe laying in the beach chair with this smile on his face! It was so beautiful!! By now we were at this little restaurant in our resort eating dinner then going over to the casino, Joe playing cards and me playing slots! OH how a year changes everything, now my Joe is gone and I'm sitting here thinking about…Continue
Added by Cyna on December 26, 2011 at 3:41pm — No Comments