As this year comes to a close a few thoughts come to mind.
I am grateful for the wonderful friend, lover and so much more that I had in Cindy. We had such an incredible life together. A life that was full of amazing adventures. We were kind to each other, supportive of each other and always put the family first. We laughed together and we were always easily amused. I still hear her laugh and I still see her smile. Just like any other marriage, there were some ups and downs but…Continue
I was sent this today and I hesitated to share it with you. But something in my heart said that we need to know and realise where we are now and how to find our hearts desire…to be with those we love. We have hope but we need to know if its achievable. Also is there a deeper reason as to why we are going through all this?
Are we going to make it down the narrow road? We are grief filled and suffering. I hope that something resonates with us all on a topic…Continue
I've just had a couple of days of doing very little. Christmas season was so busy by Christmas Day I was exhausted.I did manage to get through Christmas - just. I had a few days with my family around, Christmas lunch with one family, everyone else for Christmas dinner at my house. As usual I cooked all day Christmas Eve to be ready. I am not sure I want to do that again. So much work and as you all know it disappears so fast!
Boxing Day ( a public holiday here) ended up being a…Continue
Added by Mac on December 29, 2013 at 9:47am — No Comments
I hate it hate it hate it. I do not like this being a widow.
I have spent the day taking down the few Christmas decorations and the little tree I bought. In the south it's supposed to be bad luck to take it down before New Years Day. I'll take my chances this year.
Hubby always did the tree and put everything up afterwards. I miss him so much. His teasing grin, his gentle touch, his oh-so-tight hugs when I needed comforting. He's not here to comfort me during these missing him…Continue
Today is December 28th. Yesterday marked 2 months since Hubby went home. I thought I was doing good until yesterday afternoon. Once I was off work and in my car I cried most of the way home and all evening up to bedtime.
I've only dreamed of my beloved once since he died. In my dream we were traveling, wearing backpacks and in an airport. That was weird because neither of us ever did backpacks. I would be interested to learn the meaning of that dream.
Hubby always paid our…Continue
December 12th marked the two year anniversary since I lost the love of my life. Yet, this is the third Christmas without him, the third New Year's Eve without him. Two years ago on New Year's Eve day, I buried the urn that contained the remains of the man that I had loved since I was 18 years old. We were a couple for 28 years and married 20 years 10 months before cancer ripped him from my arms.
For whatever reason, this year the holidays have been extraordinarily hard. I have had…Continue
One of the biggest side effects of the grief I’ve lived since John died is the loss of time. Not time with him, or time on earth, I mean every day time. Most days I find I really can’t remember what day it is, sometimes I can’t remember what month I’m in or when the calendar turns again I find myself month after month staring at it, mouth agape, literally somewhat shocked. How did 30 days go by without me noticing it? Seriously how does this keep happening to me month after month??
We need to know we are incredibly valuable to a harsh world. We have gone through a horror journey and are changed forever. We may not feel we have been very successful Grievers but Oh yes, we are special. We are withstanding powerful forces that want to shame us, bring us into their view of what is right. I am filled with amazement at what the people in this Village are overcoming - however slowly. We are being tested to the limit of our endurance and the limit of our …Continue
Just before Christmas I had my last session with my CBT counselor and he said I have come a very long way but he thinks I will do fine. I just have to remember that if I start isolating myself, I am to get myself out. I am not allowed to avoid, if I do, find a way to face the issue. Just about every obstacle I was facing I was able to overcome and I feel pretty good about it.
Music was the one obstacle that seemed to be the block that may only take time to over come. My last…Continue
Added by Aeleice on December 26, 2013 at 9:37am — No Comments
Here comes the 2nd Christmas. Last Christmas was filled with intense sorrow. Especially during the days leading up to it. Didn’t buy any presents for my children. Didn’t put up a tree. We spent Christmas day with the in-laws and they did have some nice gifts for the children. I was grateful for that.
So here come the 2nd Christmas. I did buy presents for my children this year. Thought that I would get a tree, but I never did. My son won’t be home until tomorrow…Continue
Phil passed away on Sunday,Oct.27th,2013. My neighbor next door was at the house as soon as the paramedics showed up. My youngest brother, my sister in law and most of my neighbors were at the house at some point during that day. Church members and neighbors brought food to the house . My oldest brother and his wife came in from North Carolina that same day. Nieces and nephews are here. My daughter is here within 3 hours of my call and our son, daughter in law and granddaughters came in…Continue
Added by Charlies wife on December 22, 2013 at 12:20pm — No Comments
I have been posting my thoughts (and talks) to my husband on my blog "My Weird Widow Lyfe". He left me in September, and as of now, my posts are very raw. I hope to share them with family and friends one day. I thought I would share yesterday's post with the group.
- It is day 96, and I am no more at peace than I was at Day 1. I’ve always loved Christmas and particularly the past 32 years, because you were there. You were my eyes to the childish joy of Christmas, with all its…Continue
We miss the love now that they are gone.
We can still feel it at times.
Try to love ourselves now.
It’s so important.
If we choose to and if we feel it
We can accept the love of others.
And to the best of our abilities
I hope that we can love life.
And choose kindness and
To love those around us.
Added by Mac on December 21, 2013 at 2:25pm — No Comments
I am a widow.
My husband Phil and I had been married 44 years when he died October 27th,2013 at age 62 . We had known each other since we were 12 years old.
He had been sick for about a year. He wasn't officially diagnosed with lung cancer until February of this year. He started out with a cold and cough that wouldn't go away since October of 2012.He had been on three rounds of antibiotics. He was finally convinced to see a pulmonary specialist. The doctor ordered x-rays,then…Continue
I have done a real run around this Christmas season. For the past three weeks my life has been fully booked up. Last year, three months after Ray's death and a month after Mum's I simply sat around, only attended what I had to do, for the rest of the time I cried or just sat there feeling miserable. This year I was determined I would say yes to invitations so I did - all of them. Boy was that tiring, two and…Continue