By nature and formal education I am a writer and a creative brain. Any medium that allows me to express myself without limits is a form of heaven to me. So, when I lost my husband and I suddenly began to clam up, I was shocked. Not certain if it was the fear that verbalizing it would make his death more real or the pain of having the memories, the sound of his voice and the warmth of his hug come flooding back to me that scared me more.
During his illness, I had to be the strong,…Continue
Added by mbmlmw21069 on December 9, 2014 at 11:00am — No Comments
I felt like I had got off to a good start! Met with a realtor, hired a contractor for work that needs to be done, got the shop out of the garage, slowly packing up all the stuff. Eluding me right now is momentum. I have spent the last three weeks, sifting, sorting and moving things out of the house, or into a pile in my "staging" room. Found a nephew to take some of his family antiques. Sold the shop for his stepson. Now the shop/garage is a mess and needs to be re-organized. Boxing…Continue
Randy doesn't want to go cut down our traditional Christmas tree this year. He says it is not the same anymore....and of course, it isn't. I'm sad that he doesn't want to do it.... but I'm not. I don't feel like doing it either. I don't know if I am going to force the issue or just let it go. I feel like a heel that the house wasn't decorated the day after Thanksgiving like it always used to be but I just don't want to do it!!! Don't have the money this year to run away to the beach so maybe…Continue
Really? I have to do this again?
Seriously? I have to go through another holiday season without Ron again?!? Been there, done that, don’t wanna.
That is how I feel about this holiday season.…Continue
First the story of our love:
My love and I met over 10 years ago when he hired me to help him run his retail store. I instantly thought he was attractive, but I was in a committed relationship and he was married. He chose me to be his assistant manager when we moved locations and I was allowed to get just a little closer to him. At the end of our run at that location, after the store closed down, I had lost all contact with him. He saw something in me that no one else did, he took a…Continue
I was given an unexpected compliment today. I was told by a co-worker that she admired that I was brave enough to leave my last job and come back to the library as a substitute only, facing permanent employment uncertainly and the great unknown. I don’t take compliments well and this one being so unexpected I was unsure of what to say, but it certainly gave me a lot to think about.
The back story here is that roughly nine weeks after John died I switched jobs. It sort of came…Continue
Added by flannery on December 2, 2014 at 12:00pm — No Comments
You are always in my thoughts,
your love is still my guide.
And though I can not touch your hand,
I know you are by my side.
I feel a bit peevish and grumpy today because of all the forced socialization this time of year demands. With the first week of holiday gatherings behind me, I hate to admit this, but I am already feeling like digging my own hobbit hole, grabbing the beagle, jumping in, and pulling the door closed tightly behind me. From there we could wait it out, whiz right past Baby New Year and into late February. It’s not that I feel all “bah-humbug” about the holidays, it’s that I feel all worn…Continue
I have a dilemma. What to say in any Christmas cards I decide to send. What greetings, what stories, what to say when signing off? Face it, I have not heard from all these people this year. I have not heard from some of them for two years. I have a phone and an internet so how difficult it it for them to contact me?
I send my cards out mid-December. I do that because the first stroke Ray had was mid-December. I got all my cards out before we left…Continue
Every morning I wake up and wish that this was all a dream. That i've been stuck in this nightmare that I cant escape, and I'll wake up and find you next to me. Where you are supposed to be, where you said you would always be.
Everyone says that you will be with me for the rest of my life, in my heart, in my mind, and all around me. While most would take comfort in this thought, it just makes me mad. I miss your voice, the beat of your heart when I would lay my head against your…Continue
Monday, Dec. 1st. 1:09am Hawaii Time.
Disclaimer: I am going to whine a lot, but then I'm going to make a point that I hope won't be misunderstood.
This is an incredibly isolated existence. The last time I went anywhere besides the park here in the military housing was on Nov. 10th I think. 20 days ago. Wow. My record before that was 16 days. I have had two phone conversations in the past month. I do get to talk to another mom occasionally when they are at the…Continue