Well this is the last day of the year - 2017. What a year it has been. I feel like everything is crashing down and in on me. We all know the first thing that crashed down, in or whatever we call it: Loosing my husband to Stage IV kidney cancer on May 2, 2017. Ending the year with a heck of bang. Was told I didn't need to move out of this house only to come home on December 29 from counseling and my husband's birthday that I have to move. Rentals in this area are about 10 to 1. Go…Continue
I am alone tonight, New Year's Eve. Just had a phone call from my younger son and a text from my daughter, so not forgotten by my family. I guess I should expect this now with no-one special in my life. I wasn't invited to a party or to join any of the families, I did have Christmas with family so that was our special family time . I am okay with my own company now so I should not complain.
My review to follow up the melanoma operation is next Thursday so I am remembering that…Continue
Since I lost my dear husband to liver cancer, December 1, 2016, the first year went by in a haze. Now I am starting year two and it has finally hit me that I will not be seeing Gil anymore. This Christmas was pretty hard. I just went through the motions, but I could not get into the festive activities and parties. I bought a few Christmas sweaters, and a new dress. I did get to wear both of the sweaters. The dress is still sitting behind my bedroom door.
I don't know why I bought the…Continue
I have read and contributed to posts about how losing a loved one can change the survivor. “How has the death of your spouse changed you” or something of that genre.
It is a fair question, but I am not certain I can give a concrete answer or will be able to in the future, if ever.
The past year has been one of pure unimaginable grief, not one I would ever want to repeat. My spouse’s loss has left me with an incalculable feeling of how shall I say, “Lostness.” I know that’s not…Continue
Well today is the day after Christmas, this was my first Christmas without my husband. I was fortunate to have family around however I feel like I am going backwards. My husband passed May 2, 2017 after a short 5 month battle with Stage IV Kidney Cancer. I have really good days and I guess the down fall is the bad days that come up from time to time. Tomorrow 12/28/2016 would have been 1 year ago ; he had the surgery to remove his right Kidney, piece of his bladder and ureter. This was…Continue
Christmas is over, New Year's Eve and New Year's Day holds no excitement for me. I have always felt that way. I have enjoyed Christmas this year, within it"s limits. I guess I will always yearn for what was the norm way back when we were still a functioning family, food, fun and family. I miss Ray, even when he was really sick he was still here, interacting with the kids and grandkids. Of course the grandchildren hardly remember those days now, five years is a long time in their young…Continue
My holiday piece for the Huffington Post: If you want to help the widowed, let us talk about our marriages. This came out of a dinner where friends were talking about having a good marriage, but seemed to ignore me whenever I chimed in. That’s George and I in 1983. We were together 32 years.…Continue
Hey, first I was excited that my blog, “The Hungover WIdow,” made this list by Feedspot of the top 50 blogs for Widowed People. Here’s the link:https://blog.feedspot.com/widow_blogs/ . I am grateful that folks on this site read my blog.
And I’m still lying in bed because it’s the holidays and I have very little family. Love, Debbie
Added by The Hungover Widow on December 19, 2017 at 9:03am — No Comments
Year two is worse than year one, I have heard other widows say. I thought to myself, "surely that can't be true." It probably isn't for everyone, but for me, it seems to be proving true.Continue
Please note, I posted this on my FB page yesterday, and then mentioned it on chat yesterday to someone. I told them I would post it here today so here it is.
Have you ever looked back on something you wrote 25 years ago and shivered? I just did that, here is a poem I wrote 25 years ago, I don't know what possessed me then, but it is like 25 years ago I knew someday I would be where I am today:
For years, my wife and I would pick a destination to go to on vacation. Often a national park or amusement park, but it was often that we would pick one destination that we could drive to. These were times when we would be in the car for hours, listening to a book on tape and gabbing about random stuff. Until we bought a car with navigation my wife was the navigator. She was responsible for the roadmap and pointing out directions. She would drive only during long stretches of straight…Continue
1 month ago today, the light of my life went away. I woke today initially with the feeling like it was all the other days since her passing, but then feelings came flooding in. I almost crawled back into bed and refused to go to work but this would have meant admitting defeat and giving in. I won't go down without a fight and so I dragged myself from bed, shaved, showered and got dressed. I made myself a lunch and ate breakfast. I left the house about 20 minutes later than intended, and…Continue
Added by MidnightBear (Tony) on December 11, 2017 at 8:00am — No Comments
A letter I wrote to family & friend but haven't had the nerve to share.
I know people are trying to do well meaning things when they suggest that I should get a dog, or a cat or some other creature to have around me. I know people are meaning well when they say sharing is helpful or that you will get over this eventually. I know people merely want to try to fix me. The problem is, I am not broken, I am sad, lonely, angry and tired. I am these things but I am…Continue
Christmas is coming, time goes faster from now on. My plan is to go to my daughter again this year from Christmas Eve. This means missing out on some of my old activities but I can't really think of anything else to do. Some of my friends go on cruises, take advantage of offers from friends or simply plan to spend the day alone but I don't really like any of those options. In the past five years I have spent Christmas with my family with the exception of one year when the family could not…Continue