Husband died July 11, 2019 At this point in time, I still cry a lot and feel scared of what’s ahead. Others think we should have moved on at this point. Little do they know, that there is no moving on but moving through. It is a long process and I have accepted this. No easy way, no easy answers. Just taking baby steps so to speak. Read all I can to heal. Have several wonderful books to carry me through and my church. Just checking in to say hi and you are all in my thoughts. I know what it…Continue
Got a call on my cell while I was at work today asking for the diabetic in the family, meaning Arlene. So I reacted the way I usually do now, I nicely tell them that she isn't here, but that I can give them the phone number where she is. Then I gave them the phone number to the cemetery, and tell them not to take "There is nobody there by that name" for an answer, because I then tell them "I was there yesterday, she is there, but she didn't say a word".
I'm going to Hell…Continue
When will I stop counting the days?
Loneliness seems deeper daily. I miss Rick. I miss Erica. Apparently this is the new normal.
I’m trying to find joy, but it’s so hard. I know this will never be easy, people say it will get easier. I think I would be happy with just easier. Each day seems to last forever. I’m looking for an escape route. But there isn’t one. I don’t ever wanna forget, I just wanna be able to get through the day without crying. They say if you hold your…Continue
Added by Marina on April 14, 2019 at 9:14am — No Comments
I just returned from my son's elementary school performance. The chorus sang 'Remember Me', from the movie Coco.
Could not hold it in, the tears were flowing. Every time I hear this song, I hear my husband singing the words to me and also have flashes
of him singing and rocking his sons to sleep when they were newborns. Cherish the memories, yet so painful that he is no longer physically present.
Here are the lyrics:
Though I have to say goodbye…
I wish I could get off this roller coaster,
I wish I could get off this ride.
I wish I could get a refund.
You will be just fine - they lied.
Or maybe this is a merry-go-round,
At this point I’m just not sure.
My fear is that it’s only begun,
And my existence is just a blur.
There are countless issues around the passing of someone you love. There are also countless emotions.
I wrote about all of the experiences I faced and have uploaded my audio book which may help you. The podcasts are not too long and I will be adding more in the next few weeks.
This is the link http://www.youtube.com/channel/UCC-dTXOuihBeh5bRr1VR5aA
My husband died just over a year ago. I hope hearing…Continue
Added by Wendy on March 30, 2019 at 4:00pm — No Comments
Sometimes I want someone to put their arm across my shoulders, give me a squeeze and say : "You're okay mate, you're going to get through this and be better than ever." Unfortunately I don't have that person now and I have doubts about the " better than ever". I miss Ray so much, not the man he was necessarily when he died so much as the man he was in his middle years, that strong, patient man who was my rock. That is the man who helped me bring up our kids. That was the man who didn't seem…Continue
When I close my eyes, in the after image of the world still held there, I can catch you standing beside me.
When I close my eyes, I see that sneaky little grin that told me you were about to be up to something.
When I close my eyes, I see the you from before cancer decided to change your appearance but not your heart.
When I close my eyes, the world seems oddly brighter and more colorful because you are there with me.
When I close my eyes, I wish I never had…Continue
I was wondering if someone could help. I was…Continue
My wife Donna died in 2011. I was blessed to find Widowed Village and be introduced to Michele Neff Hernandez.
Early on in the group widowed in 2011 I found voices similar to mine who shared my fears and my grief. Voices that face the same struggles I did. I found my footing here and other places. Though in all honesty I will not abandon (close) my grief because I see closure as indifference and denial said pretty. I will not abandon Donna's memory or our/my love. My grief was a path…Continue
Added by Mark99 on March 18, 2019 at 7:03am — No Comments
In 35 days my new year will begin. My new year of being a widow. I will finally have closed on my new house and should have moved. I have dealt with countless government agencies and started or stopped various things. I still cry almost every day. It is not as bad as the soul shattering relentless grief of the beginning. However I still find myself screaming into my pillow at times. I have done pretty much nothing people told me to do and stumbled around and did things my own way. I came…Continue
Added by Tekwriter on March 18, 2019 at 6:05am — No Comments
I do have a suggestion. Try contacting Jennifer at the Heart Light Center in Denver CO,
Heartlight Center Inc., Grief Support in Denver Metro
https://www.heartlightcenter.org/ ; (720) 748-9908
When you reach Jennifer tell her where you are and that I suggested you call her. Ask her if she might have a suggestion for you for a Grief Group where you live or near by. With her professional…
She will Never hold his hand again
She will never hear him say her name again
She will never see his boyish smile again
She will never hear him say I love you again
She will never hear him say "it's going to be ok" again
She will always love him, that is certain
She will always be thankful for having him in her life
She will never forget the happiness she felt and shared with him
She will never regret one moment of their lives…Continue
The death of Tom has left me with profound sadness
39 years was just not enough time together
In the beginning I was just trying to survive his death
How do I move on/or through this terrible emotion: grief
Will I ever feel normal again
Time does not heal all wounds, but I will strive to come out the other side of grief
The sadness and despair will soften and fade with work and time
The grief of his death will always be mine to carry, but I…Continue
Added by jlsrdh on March 5, 2019 at 12:04pm — No Comments
I know so many of us are in so many ways stuck in neutral. Holding our breath, waiting for what we have been facing to go away, but it never will. I find myself stuck in new ways. I decided about 2 months ago to open the chance of finding someone new to bring into my life. To open my heart to the possibility. So I jumped on the online dating bandwagon. Being a computer person and also a person who worked specifically in computer security, I actually relished the random fake profile…Continue
Last night, I had a very strange dream, which is not unusual for me.
I dreamed I was in the cemetery, helping a couple of old High School classmates clean tombstones. In the dream, I cam across a new section, directly across the road from Arlene's section. So we start walking thru and I come across a large, black granite double stone, and buried there (and this is where it got weird) are Muddy Waters and Johnny Winter! And not only that, but built into the side is a video screen…Continue
We all have our troubles. I had another test today, a needle biopsy on my thyroid. I had four tests the week before last, the interview with the melanoma specialist last week and next week is the other brain scan to look at the aneurysm. Guess there is nothing wrong with me that I don't know about now. But what use is all of this if there is nothing they can do about any of it? I find it all very frustrating. I have so many conditions that simply relate to either ageing or family medical…Continue
Hi everyone, it is awhile since I posted. I have just gotten through the 1st anniversary of my husbands death. It was a very sad day but not as bad as I thought it would be. I went out with a friend who had lost her husband 18months before I lost mine. We went to a movie and then went to his favourite Thai restaurant for lunch, i had a glass of wine to toast him as he loved a glass of wine. My family and friends all posted lovely messages on facebook and my beautiful granddaughter sent me a…Continue
Tomorrow, Feb. 17th, will mark 4 years since my husband's death. That was the last "normal" day of my life. I died that evening too, and can't seem to come back to life.
I met my husband when I was 16, married at 18, and was 64 when he died. So we were together for 48 years. He was my first and only love. He died in an instant from a blood clot to the heart. He was a strong, healthy man who loved life. I…Continue
I thought I was doing better. I survived ,Thanksgiving, Christmas was disappointing, and I made it through January 1st. I am into February and I am having the hardest time since last May. I had to go to the Dr. and get more medication. I am so angry. I am not angry at my husband. I am angry at people. Everyone that gets in my way. People sincerely annoy me. I have been trying to close on a house. The only thing I needed was a deposit from my military pay. I gave it to them on the 1st of…Continue