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This site is run by widowed people, for widowed people

Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

All Blog Posts (4,195)

Patton Oswalt: Why does it take a celebrity to talk about widowhood?

Mainly, this: I am grateful that wonderful online magazine Ravishly asked me to do an article on the media reaction to Patton Oswalt's engagement just 15 months after his wife died. It's the first time a magazine has commissioned me to write for them. Same day deadline. Here it is:… Continue

Added by The Hungover Widow on July 17, 2017 at 2:46am — 1 Comment

Trying to change my thinking again

Just saw a movie recently where it was obvious the older woman could not let go of the past and I could see how that was hindering her progress in life. I know  sometimes that is so me.  I want things to be the way they were at some point in my life long gone that I considered looking back was the ideal life.  If that can't happen I think I want my present life to be based on that.  Well guess what?  that is never going to happen. When Ray had the stroke in 1999 I was 43,  working part-time,…

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Added by only1sue on July 16, 2017 at 9:14pm — 2 Comments

Just a shout out to those more recently widowed.

It's been 5 years for me. We were married for 28 years. For most of us, things do improve with time. We adjust to this "new life" and we have such a sense of gratitude for so very much! Wishing all the best for you!

There are so many possible combinations in this world. 

We travel here, there and everywhere! 

We meet so many people. 

We do so many things. 

We make so many choices. …

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Added by Mac on July 9, 2017 at 5:00pm — 1 Comment

Another Milestone

Ten years ago today, I married the love of my life.…

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Added by lowrsr (Sherry) on July 6, 2017 at 4:07am — 1 Comment

I Thought These Things Only Happened In Movies

Too many times now I have been struck down in sharp grief and reacted in ways I didn't think were lifelike.  I keep sailing through this sea, sometimes foggy sometimes not.  I get that this is fairly new to me.  I get that my journey is only just beginning.  I get that there are new surprises around every corner.  I just find it startling when my reaction is stronger than expected.

A few months ago I woke screaming from a deep sleep because I heard Vicky screaming for help, as she had…

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Added by kellygreenstrat (Colin) on July 2, 2017 at 2:20pm — 1 Comment

What I Want You to Know about Widowhood on "Ravishly"

I am grateful to have my first article up on "Ravishly," a cool online magazine for women, about the topic closest to my heart: The importance of reaching out to the widowed (even if it feels awkward to talk about death). For me, loneliness was the worst part of being widowed. It almost destroyed me. Here's the link: http://www.ravishly.com/what-i-want-you-know-about-widowhood.



It's funny too. I go through… Continue

Added by The Hungover Widow on June 29, 2017 at 4:18am — No Comments

That helpless feeling

I hate that helpless feeling that comes when something goes wrong in the family and I just know there is nothing I can do to alter what is happening.  I know if Ray were still alive that he would have a contribution to make in the present situation.  I know that on my own I will not jump into the car and go out and help, but if there were two of us that would happen.  This is when being a widow sucks, when you need two wise heads in a situation. So I consulted my daughter and she said:…

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Added by only1sue on June 26, 2017 at 12:46am — 2 Comments

A Quote on Grief that Gets It

‘There is nothing that can replace the absence of someone dear to us, and one should not even attempt to do so. One must simply hold out and endure it. At first that sounds very hard, but at the same time it is also a great comfort. For to the extent the emptiness truly remains unfilled one remains connected to the other person through it. It is wrong to say that God fills the emptiness. God in no way fills it but much more leaves it precisely unfilled and thus helps us prese…

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Added by BabushkaD (Debbie) on June 24, 2017 at 8:07pm — 6 Comments

One Year

One year.

I just came to work. I didn't know what else to do. I don't really want to be here, but I think home would just be depressing. Well, it's all depressing.  But I didn't want to be alone, and I still hear a voice telling me that no one cares and to shut up and get over it. So I didn't want to ask anyone to come over, just to keep me company.  So work it is.

Once I thought I'd love to not have to go to doctors appointments every week, multiple times a week. Now I'd give…

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Added by Medea on June 16, 2017 at 10:22pm — 2 Comments

Learning something from time with friends

Winter weather is cold and wet again, we need the rain for crops further up the valley and to refill the local water supply so not a lot of point in complaining, winter will pass in time and it will be Spring again.  I have been doing some of the needed outside work between rain periods so managed this afternoon to repot some of the bromeliads and weed some of the many pots around my back yard.  It is not what I want to do but provides a reason to get up each morning and gives me something…

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Added by only1sue on June 14, 2017 at 5:00am — 3 Comments

My Father's Day Tribute in "Modern Loss"

My latest article is in the wonderful online publication "Modern Loss." It's a father's day tribute to my dad who raised me after my mom died when I was ten. We became even closer when he helped me see that life could still be worth living after I lost my George in 2013. Here it is if you'd like to read it: http://modernloss.com/father-grief-mentor/ I so appreciate your patience with my posting links instead of actual…

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Added by The Hungover Widow on June 12, 2017 at 6:30pm — 4 Comments

Pandora running away with me tonight

I know Pandora learns its listeners preferences, but I still don't think it's a coincidence that tonight I've heard If I Die Young, I Can Only Imagine (Shane's funeral song), Die A Happy Man, and now Marry Me (Shane and I's song). I think this was to get my attention, and then the next couple of songs played, some new to me, some I needed to listen again to the lyrics:



You're Not Alone by Meredith Andrews



I…

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Added by BabushkaD (Debbie) on June 11, 2017 at 12:25am — 3 Comments

I hate June 7th ...

Today is Bob's 10th year anniversary ...

Today our 23 year old daughter was diagnosed with MS ...

Today my 32 year old nephew was diagnosed with tumors on his pituitary gland ...

Two days after Bob's death, I had a dream of my daughter & nephews w/ravens flying around ...

Never could figure out why this particular nephew was in the dream instead of his brother who died 9 months prior ...

Not only is today's date darker, it is sadly more meaningful…

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Added by SweetMelissa2007 on June 7, 2017 at 3:08pm — 3 Comments

Surreal

Hello. I am new to this site.  I lost the love of my life to cancer two weeks ago.  We were married for 21 years and have two children ages 18 and 15. Beyond the feeling of grief I have never felt before in my entire life- that comes in incredible waves out of nowhere at any time of the day...I find myself having trouble grasping that this is my new world. Who EVER thinks they are going to come part of a sight like this. I find it surreal at times. To think about the fact that John will no…

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Added by ShirleyB on June 7, 2017 at 1:09pm — 5 Comments

A box of wooden toys

We came to Australia when I was seven, a family of four as I had a younger sister who was four.  We didn't have much as we had lived in a rented house in England and got little for the furniture we sold.  But both Mum and Dad were determined to make a better life in Australia and they did.  It was very hard at first as they had no backup from family, my sister really got sick and some of what they had was spent on medical bills and my Mum couldn't find a job.  She took a job as a housekeeper…

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Added by only1sue on May 30, 2017 at 3:53pm — 4 Comments

Farewell to Albie

Farewell to the man I love

When I was sitting out on the deck last night I noticed a single star.  With the clouds so thick you couldn't see the moon, I knew it had to be you, and although I miss you so much I realized that you weren't gone at all.  In fact you are and always will be alive in our hearts and memories.

I can see you tinkering with your candles, riding on your harley and constantly building something.  You lived to be outside, you were happy most any place, it…

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Added by sandi on May 29, 2017 at 4:35pm — No Comments

A Message To My Husband on Memorial Day

Twenty things I miss about you, M., my beloved:

1. Your smile

2. The way you said "Hey, baby" every time I walked into your workshop

3. Your kisses, which are the best in the world!

4. Your incredibly inquiring creative mind

5. Our talks about your books

6. Our talks about life

7. Motorcycle rides

8. Helping you to feel better when you were so sick

9. Cooking dinner for us instead of just me

10. Traveling with you, even if it was just to…

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Added by happylilycat on May 28, 2017 at 8:05am — No Comments

My Latest Blog Post: 5 Questions to Ask Yourself if You're Ready to Date

I'm blogging again. My latest is about plunging back into dating too soon. Here are five questions I wish I'd seriously considered before jumping in: http://www.thehungoverwidow.com/dating-for-widows-and-widowers-5-questions-to-ask-yourself-if-youre-ready-to-date/



My blog is "The Hungover Widow." With apologies for this format, but I'm too lazy to retype.… Continue

Added by The Hungover Widow on May 25, 2017 at 8:24am — No Comments

Tired

My best friend came over today. She hadn't heard from me in a few days and was concerned if I was still alive. The last post on my Facebook was about Howard, and how I'd missed Restaurant Week with him. I had actually been asleep for close to two days.

But, in truth, the thought hasn't been far from my mind. I'm tired. I'm tired of hearing my ex's voice in the back of my head, telling me how fat and unattractive and stupid I am. I'm tired of that same voice telling me no one…

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Added by Medea on May 24, 2017 at 10:34pm — No Comments

Still miss Mike

I am now over 8 years out from the most horrific day of my life, when my best friend, life partner, love of my life, passed on March 1st, 2009, 8 days after his 50th birthday. We had met in our mid teens, fallin in love almost immediatly, and were inseparable from that point on. We shared over 30 years together and were in process of planning our retirement in a few years when Mike was diagnosed with stage 1 colon cancer out of the blue at a regular, 6month checkup. Although colon cancer is now… Continue

Added by Steve on May 19, 2017 at 9:55am — 7 Comments

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