I didn't ask to be in this war. I didn't sign up for it, I wasn't drafted, and certainly wasn't trained for it. Let me backtrack and explain to you how I got here. I met Keith in 2013. He was the epitome of all I had ever searched for in a partner. We were soul mates and we couldn't wait to start our lives together! I was 34 and he was 35 and we embarked upon a beautiful life together. He had some heart issues but was on medication and was doing fine until about a month or two before…Continue
Today is the 1 year anniversary of when we received the diagnosis that my husband had 6 months to live. The day my world was turned upside down. I really miss him; he was my best friend in so many ways. He understand me in a way that no one else did; accepted me with all my flaws and silly quirks. We took care of each other. My wish is I could have done more. I wish I had a better hospice company than the one I did. This company did not provide much support.
Summer is full on today, hot dry and windy. Going outside for any period is not recommended. On days like this l feel lethargic. What to do? Reading, watching old movies, trying to keep cool.Sometimes it seems as if I just fill in my time. It is a feature of life for me this summer. Once it would have been a day by the Lake with a picnic basket, or somewhere near water but somehow that is not as much fun on my own. I can see how easy it is to become isolated.
To avoid isolation I…Continue
I love a good joke and it was so hard to get one over on Jerry. This time I got him but good without even trying. We headed off late in the afternoon to Georgia for a family reunion five hour's away from home. A little over halfway through the trip Jerry was tired and decided we needed to stop for the night. It was close enough to get up have breakfast and still get to the reunion on time. He get's us all set up at the Hilton Inn for the night. While laying on the bed discussing dinner…Continue
Added by Rainy (Misty) on January 18, 2018 at 10:59am — No Comments
The last two days have been miserable to say the least. Everything, and I truly mean just about everything, has reminded me of my wife. I saw a picture of a salad today that had pomegranate seeds on it, and thought of her and the bags of frozen pomegranate seeds I now have inherited. I tried to deal with the old DVD collection and move it into folders out of the cases so it would take less space, and I see so many movies we owned that I just would have zero interest in watching again…Continue
I miss him terribly.
John died on May 24, 2017. I'm what...almost 8 months out? I feel like this roller coaster is getting harder. I think I was on autopilot through the first few months. I had a son to get off to his first year of college in the Fall, a 16 year old daughter starting her Junior year of HS who dances and wanting to make sure she was doing ok and on track.
And now I made it through the holidays....Like what was I thinking?? That there would be an end of some…Continue
A song I wrote many years ago. Who knew how much it would resonate today?
There was a time when all I'd yearned for
Seemed to be the things I'd earned, more
than I'd ever wanted from the start
Then it seemed the tide had turned, Lord,
The waters came, the waters churned, why
does this pain and sorrow pierce my…
Added by BabushkaD (Debbie) on January 7, 2018 at 9:33pm — No Comments
Well this is the last day of the year - 2017. What a year it has been. I feel like everything is crashing down and in on me. We all know the first thing that crashed down, in or whatever we call it: Loosing my husband to Stage IV kidney cancer on May 2, 2017. Ending the year with a heck of bang. Was told I didn't need to move out of this house only to come home on December 29 from counseling and my husband's birthday that I have to move. Rentals in this area are about 10 to 1. Go…Continue
I am alone tonight, New Year's Eve. Just had a phone call from my younger son and a text from my daughter, so not forgotten by my family. I guess I should expect this now with no-one special in my life. I wasn't invited to a party or to join any of the families, I did have Christmas with family so that was our special family time . I am okay with my own company now so I should not complain.
My review to follow up the melanoma operation is next Thursday so I am remembering that…Continue
Since I lost my dear husband to liver cancer, December 1, 2016, the first year went by in a haze. Now I am starting year two and it has finally hit me that I will not be seeing Gil anymore. This Christmas was pretty hard. I just went through the motions, but I could not get into the festive activities and parties. I bought a few Christmas sweaters, and a new dress. I did get to wear both of the sweaters. The dress is still sitting behind my bedroom door.
I don't know why I bought the…Continue
I have read and contributed to posts about how losing a loved one can change the survivor. “How has the death of your spouse changed you” or something of that genre.
It is a fair question, but I am not certain I can give a concrete answer or will be able to in the future, if ever.
The past year has been one of pure unimaginable grief, not one I would ever want to repeat. My spouse’s loss has left me with an incalculable feeling of how shall I say, “Lostness.” I know that’s not…Continue
Well today is the day after Christmas, this was my first Christmas without my husband. I was fortunate to have family around however I feel like I am going backwards. My husband passed May 2, 2017 after a short 5 month battle with Stage IV Kidney Cancer. I have really good days and I guess the down fall is the bad days that come up from time to time. Tomorrow 12/28/2016 would have been 1 year ago ; he had the surgery to remove his right Kidney, piece of his bladder and ureter. This was…Continue
Christmas is over, New Year's Eve and New Year's Day holds no excitement for me. I have always felt that way. I have enjoyed Christmas this year, within it"s limits. I guess I will always yearn for what was the norm way back when we were still a functioning family, food, fun and family. I miss Ray, even when he was really sick he was still here, interacting with the kids and grandkids. Of course the grandchildren hardly remember those days now, five years is a long time in their young…Continue
My holiday piece for the Huffington Post: If you want to help the widowed, let us talk about our marriages. This came out of a dinner where friends were talking about having a good marriage, but seemed to ignore me whenever I chimed in. That’s George and I in 1983. We were together 32 years.…Continue
Hey, first I was excited that my blog, “The Hungover WIdow,” made this list by Feedspot of the top 50 blogs for Widowed People. Here’s the link:https://blog.feedspot.com/widow_blogs/ . I am grateful that folks on this site read my blog.
And I’m still lying in bed because it’s the holidays and I have very little family. Love, Debbie
Added by The Hungover Widow on December 19, 2017 at 9:03am — No Comments
Year two is worse than year one, I have heard other widows say. I thought to myself, "surely that can't be true." It probably isn't for everyone, but for me, it seems to be proving true.Continue
Please note, I posted this on my FB page yesterday, and then mentioned it on chat yesterday to someone. I told them I would post it here today so here it is.
Have you ever looked back on something you wrote 25 years ago and shivered? I just did that, here is a poem I wrote 25 years ago, I don't know what possessed me then, but it is like 25 years ago I knew someday I would be where I am today:
For years, my wife and I would pick a destination to go to on vacation. Often a national park or amusement park, but it was often that we would pick one destination that we could drive to. These were times when we would be in the car for hours, listening to a book on tape and gabbing about random stuff. Until we bought a car with navigation my wife was the navigator. She was responsible for the roadmap and pointing out directions. She would drive only during long stretches of straight…Continue
1 month ago today, the light of my life went away. I woke today initially with the feeling like it was all the other days since her passing, but then feelings came flooding in. I almost crawled back into bed and refused to go to work but this would have meant admitting defeat and giving in. I won't go down without a fight and so I dragged myself from bed, shaved, showered and got dressed. I made myself a lunch and ate breakfast. I left the house about 20 minutes later than intended, and…Continue
Added by MidnightBear (Tony) on December 11, 2017 at 8:00am — No Comments