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This site is run by widowed people, for widowed people

Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

All Blog Posts (4,185)

A Message To My Husband on Memorial Day

Twenty things I miss about you, M., my beloved:

1. Your smile

2. The way you said "Hey, baby" every time I walked into your workshop

3. Your kisses, which are the best in the world!

4. Your incredibly inquiring creative mind

5. Our talks about your books

6. Our talks about life

7. Motorcycle rides

8. Helping you to feel better when you were so sick

9. Cooking dinner for us instead of just me

10. Traveling with you, even if it was just to…

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Added by happylilycat on May 28, 2017 at 8:05am — No Comments

My Latest Blog Post: 5 Questions to Ask Yourself if You're Ready to Date

I'm blogging again. My latest is about plunging back into dating too soon. Here are five questions I wish I'd seriously considered before jumping in: http://www.thehungoverwidow.com/dating-for-widows-and-widowers-5-questions-to-ask-yourself-if-youre-ready-to-date/



My blog is "The Hungover Widow." With apologies for this format, but I'm too lazy to retype.… Continue

Added by The Hungover Widow on May 25, 2017 at 8:24am — No Comments

Tired

My best friend came over today. She hadn't heard from me in a few days and was concerned if I was still alive. The last post on my Facebook was about Howard, and how I'd missed Restaurant Week with him. I had actually been asleep for close to two days.

But, in truth, the thought hasn't been far from my mind. I'm tired. I'm tired of hearing my ex's voice in the back of my head, telling me how fat and unattractive and stupid I am. I'm tired of that same voice telling me no one…

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Added by Medea on May 24, 2017 at 10:34pm — No Comments

Still miss Mike

I am now over 8 years out from the most horrific day of my life, when my best friend, life partner, love of my life, passed on March 1st, 2009, 8 days after his 50th birthday. We had met in our mid teens, fallin in love almost immediatly, and were inseparable from that point on. We shared over 30 years together and were in process of planning our retirement in a few years when Mike was diagnosed with stage 1 colon cancer out of the blue at a regular, 6month checkup. Although colon cancer is now… Continue

Added by Steve on May 19, 2017 at 9:55am — 7 Comments

Seven second hand roses

None of my children or grandchildren came to me for Mother's Day this year which was a bit sad.  I did get a phone call from each of my sons and daughter but no cards or presents this year.  It was my own fault as I offered to do the sermon at church on that day at both services so our two paid clergy could have their time with their families, first grandchild for one, three grandchildren visiting from another state for the other. Next year it will be my turn to have the day off. Now I am…

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Added by only1sue on May 18, 2017 at 11:02pm — 4 Comments

Circle of Life

It's been a little over 4 years since my Husband died of cancer.   He was my soul mate and best friend for 31 years.  It has been a rough journey going on without him.  I have made many changes to my life and I finally feel like I am going to be alright.   I am much stronger than I ever thought I was.  I still feel the loneliness but not all the time like in the beginning of this journey.   My constants have been my 2 Daughters and my Grandson.  They are the most important people in my…

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Added by lizbeth4 on May 17, 2017 at 7:00pm — 1 Comment

A New Hope?

It’s been eight months today since I lost my soulmate. I still miss everything about him – his smile, his jokes, his hugs, and more… And still, somehow, I have managed to live on this planet eight months without him. I feel sad that I haven’t seen him in eight months, and believe it or…

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Added by lowrsr (Sherry) on May 16, 2017 at 8:45am — 4 Comments

Mornings are still hard

11 months out. My brain is still programmed to expect her. I still wake up sad and the house is so disappointingly empty. She is supposed to be at the table drinking coffee and reading the paper. Then go to the closet and pick a beautiful pressed shirt to wear to work. She always looked fabulous. Every morning is a disappointment. At least I don't wake up crying any more. I just wake up sad.

I feel as if…

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Added by Anna on May 16, 2017 at 6:30am — 3 Comments

Starting to enjoy my new life.

I'm 11 months out. I’m starting to enjoy the freedom of being single. I did not want the freedom of being single. I would prefer to have my wife, my soul mate, my better half. I'd do anything to have my old life back. It was happy and carefree. We had 17 years of love and respect. But since I’m single, I now see that I can enjoy this too. I feel a little bit guilty, but not very guilty because I know she's smiling down at me saying YES! Enjoy yourself when you can!!

This…

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Added by Anna on May 14, 2017 at 8:30pm — 1 Comment

Sadness as We Close in on Mother's Day, the Next 'First'

It is Saturday, the day before Mother's Day. Mothers Day is falling on the 13th this year. I wonder, is that a sign of bad luck? For me maybe, as it is the first Mothers Day without my soulmate. For without him, I would not have become a mother and have reason to celebrate the day. A few months ago this 'hallmark holiday' did not enter my mind as one that was going to be difficult. Fathers Day ...yes, for sure, but not Mothers Day. It was not until earlier this week that once again, the…

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Added by Lostmyeverything on May 13, 2017 at 10:30am — 3 Comments

Grief Defines my Existence

Grief is ever present in my life. It has defined my existence since September 16 of last year. Every moment of every day, I am reminded of the great absence that holds me hostage.  Sometimes it is a black, heavy cloud of despair that envelops me, other times it is a lighter, more distant ripple…

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Added by lowrsr (Sherry) on May 12, 2017 at 4:30pm — 4 Comments

Introduction

Hi this is my first visit, not even sure if this is the correct page to do this on. I have had a lot of loss in a few short years. My sister, father in law,2 aunts and a close friend passed from cancer, then my amazing husband had a major heart attack, then my Mum and. now I'm dealing with my demanding ailing father. All the deaths happened in a four year period. My husband passed in December 2010 so I'm six years into this battle. I feel, and get told I need to move on but can't. That's it in… Continue

Added by Pauline on May 11, 2017 at 9:33pm — 2 Comments

Widowsill - Series for May on Motherhood

Hi, everyone ~

If you are so moved, please enjoy my new blog venture. It's about life through the lens of widowhood from my perspective. This month I am focusing on Motherhood. I would love your feedback if you are inclined to share it. Thanks! 

www.widowsill.wordpress.com

Added by Merritt on May 7, 2017 at 3:17pm — 2 Comments

Being the only, disgruntled parent...

Having a family was more my husband's thing. I wanted to be a career woman but found myself staying home with my kids for a whole 7 years before I joined the working world. I took naturally, enough, to being affectionate with my babies, and there's no way you could accuse me of neglect or anything of that sorts. I can draw a line of decency and never cross it. Not that I am devoid of emotional connection with them. When they are hurt or need defending, my momma instincts kick in to…

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Added by tifacola (Tiffany) on May 4, 2017 at 9:19pm — 5 Comments

Reinventing Camelot

Each of us has a different place and time when we thought life was wonderful and life would go on like that forever.  For some it was the courtship, some the early marriage, some the space after the kids had flown and they were able to travel and do the things they had always wanted to do.  For Ray and I it was a period when our life was comfortable with the mortgage paid off, the house reasonably fit for the family we had brought back to our home town after ten and a half years away, all…

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Added by only1sue on May 3, 2017 at 3:15pm — 5 Comments

These days I'm anxious.

A year ago I was taking care of my wife Carla in hospice. She had 11 weeks from diagnosis to death. Breast cancer. Diagnosed March 28; hospice started April 14; she died June 12 at home in our bed. She never even had a hospital bed, it was just our regular bed. She was 56 and I was 46. We had been together 17 years.…

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Added by Anna on April 25, 2017 at 5:12pm — 3 Comments

Celebrating without Dad

Yesterday my son turned 5.  It is a big number in our house.  He knew when he turned 5 he would be ready to go to kindergarten soon and he would get to chew gum.  What none of us knew was that it would also be his first birthday without his dad.  We have been talking about his birthday for a while.  A month ago I bought invitations... Power Ranger themed and I even looked into having a Power Ranger character come to our house.  I managed to get 6 invitations out to the preschool kids at his…

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Added by Orb101214 on April 25, 2017 at 12:30pm — 3 Comments

Alternate Timelines

I still wake up and feel like I’m stuck in the wrong timeline, like a Star Trek episode. Something isn’t right about this timeline, and I have to find my way back to the “right” timeline so history will go on the way it is supposed to go. In Star Trek, the character refuses to accept the new timeline, even when…

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Added by lowrsr (Sherry) on April 23, 2017 at 12:08pm — 5 Comments

Home

Yeah, I'm catching up. Things that have been in my head that I've never quite written down. Phrases caught in memory.

I'm mostly settled. In less than a month is my housewarming party. A bit late in the year, but with the misters up, it should be okay. We're doing it black tie. Because we girls love a chance to get dressed up and wear pretty dresses and get our hair and makeup done. And guys look freakin' hot all dressed up in coats and ties. And it makes me happy to picture a house…

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Added by Medea on April 22, 2017 at 10:47pm — 3 Comments

~ FINIS ~

Scattering his ashes was hard. His SCA household was with me, as were two of my house members. It was on the battlefield, which is what he would have wanted. We all took turns. In two scattering urns, everyone took a turn, making sure his ashes were well and truly scattered, as we weren't actually allowed to scatter him there. But where else would he want to be?  It was fitting.

Afterwards, they thanked me. They thanked me for making sure they were a part of things and keeping them…

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Added by Medea on April 22, 2017 at 10:30pm — 1 Comment

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