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Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

All Blog Posts (4,341)

Widow's Ring

After hearing about a "Widow's Ring" from a wonderful member on this site, I went on ebay & purchased one. How many others know about this ring & how many have purchased this ring? Everytime I look at my finger, I know my Hubs is with me.

Added by Ms. W on May 27, 2011 at 6:48am — 4 Comments

My Yard and Garden is like a microcosm of my life! (now with pictures!)

My poor yard and garden have suffered terribly in the last almost 19 months since my wife passed away.  I have trees that are either dead or on serious life support, some with beetle infestations and others that have been mauled by Deer and look lopsided with branches missing.  The last two winters have been exceptionally harsh and the summers have been hot and dry.  I seriously think I have not been out to water or tend to them in nearly 10 months! Its really amazing anything survived out…


Added by NMWidower on May 26, 2011 at 8:00pm — 4 Comments


I was married for the last 8 years, before that  I was single for 10 years.  Single and a parent to a 10 year old boy.  As fate would have it, along with my newly found married life I became pregnant, so now we had children-mine and ours.  Well MINE turned 18 and graduated from high school all in this past week.  He is headed to the Army by summers end.  Leaving me with OURS- this is where my discovery happened.

Since the death of my husband I have re-discovered skills and attributes…


Added by MsKris12 on May 26, 2011 at 5:06pm — 4 Comments

Getting Engaged to the Family

One of the discussions about wedding rings reminded me of the day John proposed.  It was triple horror night at the drive-in.  It was awesome.  The drive-in had the various scary characters (Freddy, Jason...etc)  dressed up, walking around outside your car...creepy.  I don't remember all the movies that were playing, only the one that he proposed during.  We were watching the film "Wrong Turn" and at one of the climatic scenes (just before a gruesome murder), he was like,…


Added by manni on May 26, 2011 at 11:24am — 1 Comment

Here. Forever. Gone.

The word "acceptance" has been like a mantra to me since my husband died on January 14, 2006. For me, working to accept his death has been one of the most important steps in my own healing. I accept that Ken is gone. I accept that I must continue to live well without him. I accept that I will never forget him and that the sadness of his death and the joy of our 15 years together have woven together as part of the person I am today.


I wrote this poem to confront head-on the…


Added by Jill on May 25, 2011 at 6:00am — 5 Comments

Thrown into Community

When Kevin was sick, community came out of everywhere.  We were sent support from Winnipeg, Manitoba, Kevin's hometown, Lancaster, Pennsylvania, my hometown, and many parts in between.  Much of our support came from friends and family, but we also received support from complete strangers: community.

With the recent tragedies hitting towns all over the country due to tornadoes and floods, I have had the pleasure of reading amazing accounts of bravery and support from people from the…


Added by CrazyWidow on May 25, 2011 at 5:48am — 1 Comment

Help a Birthday Gal Out!

Today's my birthday and I woke up in a craptastic mood.  In fact, I went to bed in a craptastic mood and apparently it did nothing but brew all night long while I was sleeping.  I was angry this morning, but why?  My life's become pretty good, but I was just disappointed, upset, angry.

I hate it when I can't pinpoint my emotions or assign them to any one thing.  Having gone on vacation, I missed a few weeks of therapy and I opted today to enjoy my birthday instead of going to…


Added by CrazyWidow on May 25, 2011 at 5:41am — 1 Comment

Get by with a little help...

From my friends - I need YOU!

I am working to switch my focus from a heavy blog dedication to finishing the book (how many times have I typed this phrase before??) as well as focusing more on travel writing.  No, I'm not leaving grief writing behind, just wanting to give my friends a chance to share their journeys while I work on mine!

If you have a grief related story, whether through death or just general loss, I'd like you to share on my blog.  Drop me an email at…


Added by CrazyWidow on May 25, 2011 at 5:39am — No Comments


As I work on trying to promote to upcoming Sarcoma fundraiser: a Lancaster Barnstormers baseball game on 7/16 and a bike/walk/run in East Petersburg, Pa on 9/24, I am trying to get the information out to all the locals who are affected on a daily basis by Sarcoma cancers.  Of course, my history leads me to check in often with the Angiosarcoma Cancer group right here on twitter.  Everyday I read the stories posted there, and realize how many more lives are being destroyed by this cancer. …


Added by CrazyWidow on May 25, 2011 at 5:38am — No Comments

What am I doing?

What am I doing?  No, really.  What is it that I do day in and out that inspires me, drains me, encourages me, floors me, stops me?  I have hit the wall of depression that inevitably ensues upon return from a great vacation.  Now comes the evaluation part after I've had a few days to decompress, relax, explore new things.  What am I doing?

At my writer's group this week I forced them to set a date for me, to make a plan, proceed with a goal to (EEEEEK) commit to something.  Memoir. …


Added by CrazyWidow on May 25, 2011 at 5:37am — No Comments

Revenge? Justice? Hope.

I met Erin through the great "widow connections" on Twitter, and have since gotten to know her more intimately through a great widow forum we are both involved in: Widowed Village.  Erin is open, raw, and at times very amusing both about her journey in loss and with her daily joys as a Mother.  I am honored to have her share us today about her reaction to Osama Bin Laden's death.  You'll read more about why I wanted to hear her thoughts…


Added by CrazyWidow on May 25, 2011 at 5:37am — No Comments

I Live

Thoughts (via Tweet) from last evening:

"An odd amount of sadness washed over me as I prepared my apartment for my departure. What if I never returned? I felt the grief of others.

I rarely think of my death, but now that I have, I wish none to feel the grief I felt in losing Kev; I wish that pain upon not even the worst.

I imagine the pain that others would feel having to look at my stuff as they sorted through my life, a combination of my things, and Kevs.

I feel…


Added by CrazyWidow on May 25, 2011 at 5:36am — No Comments


I lost my husband to cancer, but many women and men lost their spouses to a war.  The man who initiated the attacks in the US on September 11, 2001 was killed and now what?  Do these widow(er)s feel vindicated and just that their spouses died trying to protect our country by searching out such hateful people?

In my experience, death never feels worth the good that comes from it.  I have been fortunate to have many awesome things happen, that without Kevin dying, never would have…


Added by CrazyWidow on May 25, 2011 at 5:35am — No Comments

A Date or an Entire Lifetime?

I didn't want to, but y'all made me do it!  THE ROYAL WEDDING.  My friend Stephanie wrote this on Facebook today: "There's so much pomp and circumstance surrounding this Royal Wedding. I hope more so was invested in the marriage itself."  In general, I find that I get caught up in the big, momentous, occasions in life, often failing to notice the details that make up the whole relationships that brought forth these events.  Engagement instead of relationship, weddings and anniversaries…


Added by CrazyWidow on May 25, 2011 at 5:35am — No Comments

Vulnerability Series: Mind

I cannot do this.

You do not know how many times I have said this to myself.  It has probably been more along the lines of "I don't THINK I can do this" which leaves me to believe that I cannot.

My parents supported me through my many phases of entering adulthood: when I wanted to be a journalist, then a mechanic, then a makeup sales person, then a business student - the list does on and on.  They just stood behind me and let me change my path again and again, trying their best…


Added by CrazyWidow on May 25, 2011 at 5:34am — No Comments

Vulnerability Series: Body

This morning I had the privilege to read a guest post on my friend Susan's blog discussing body image.  I have touched before on my issues dealing with self esteem and negative body image, but I don't know if I have ever intimately shared with my readers how these issues began.  I still don't know exactly how they began, but I would say it had something to do with hitting puberty at the ripe old age of...10.

I was the…


Added by CrazyWidow on May 25, 2011 at 5:33am — No Comments

The Story that Needs (Is) Told

I think I'm gonna write.  I know, what do you call THIS?  I've been working (at a pace of about 3 pages a month) on my memoir since after Kevin died.  If you go back to the early days of losing Kevin, you'll see that Kevin actually asked/told me to write our story, and I know he didn't just mean it to be a blog.  He meant it to be more, he believed in me.

The boy also believes in me.  He wants me to not only write but finish the book.  To find some closure in having it written.  To…


Added by CrazyWidow on May 25, 2011 at 5:33am — 2 Comments

Trusting Unexpectation

I should know to trust the unexpected, especially if it involves things I have planned around not expecting the unexpected.

I am being shown, again and again, that my life is not within in my control.  This hasn't seemed to stop me from being an ultimate control freak, but I'm learning.  Very slowly.  Nothing has happened in the past few weeks that I have really planned for, necessarily wanted, or at the very least, expected.  I have a heaping plate of unexpected sitting in front of…


Added by CrazyWidow on May 25, 2011 at 5:32am — No Comments


Life tends to go in threes.  It has usually done so for my family, and I have been its bitter grateful recipient.  When Kevin died, within 6 months I lost an angiosarcoma friend, and my grandfather.  Three.  Whenever something has broken in my family, (i.e. washer), the refrigerator and kitchen sink went with it.  Is your life this way too?

My boy drove home my new to me motorcycle, this little gem:

He was excited about it, as was I!  After investing a…


Added by CrazyWidow on May 25, 2011 at 5:31am — No Comments

I know love.

I write this with the promise of tears stinging my eyes. That is a true statement. I tell you this because love is an honest emotion. It doesn't work well with dishonesty. I know love. When my children were born I was amazed at just how much I was able to feel for them. It was love on a whole higher than I had felt in my life. You love your parents, grandparents, brothers and sisters but it's almost a required thing. Something was ingrained within me to love my family. I always did love them…


Added by jlleeth on May 24, 2011 at 10:02pm — 2 Comments

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