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Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

All Blog Posts (4,195)


VOLUNTEER
Turning the corner on grief





How do you know when you're turning the corner on grief?, they ask. There's hope and confusion in their eyes. And who wouldn't want the pain to end? But I can't lie and say, "On day one of year two, you will be all fixed up." I would… Continue

Added by Soaring Spirits on March 11, 2011 at 10:33am — 4 Comments

The Twins and Their Shadows

My fourth grade year concluded with long shadows cast over it.

 

The class was all elbows and knees. Everything seemed like possibility upon possibility. Though I was never the center of attention, I quietly went about making friends. Among my classmates were “the twins”, Bobby and Ricky. They looked remarkably similar. Bobby was a wee bit taller, had a…

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Added by Alive & Mortal on March 10, 2011 at 10:00pm — 1 Comment

Where are you

 

I think that I today ,realized that my husband (because he was sick for so long) has left us much longer then six month ago and that made me very said.I wonder how he left and I did not realized it.My daughter said ,that he left us last May ,when the found all his brain tumors and I was just to bussy, finding new cures to see it.Maybe she is right ,I lost him so much longer then  what it seams.So where do I go from here ?I guess ,I have to start a new life .I will call it my second…

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Added by faymeister on March 10, 2011 at 3:00pm — 3 Comments


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Market outlook



"Of course, these numbers would look a lot different if you'd sold it in 2005 or 2006," he said with the bright kind of regret that makes you know he had a good year that year. He was nice enough -- more than nice, really -- the real estate… Continue

Added by Soaring Spirits on March 10, 2011 at 10:30am — No Comments

First Dates Can Be Fun!

If you haven't dated in 10, 20, or maybe even 30 years, the prospect of doing so can be a little daunting. The rules have changed and you may need a refresher course. One way to learn is to jump right in and get on-the-job training!…


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Added by Dating & Relationship Coach on March 9, 2011 at 10:04am — No Comments


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Joyce Carol Oates, Janet Maslin, and the problematic second husband

Joyce Carol Oates with husband #2 at their…
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Added by Soaring Spirits on March 8, 2011 at 10:30am — No Comments

A Priceless Gift You Can Give To Young Children After They Lose a Parent

 

 

 

After Ken died, our children were little. I didn't want them to forget the memories that belonged to them of their father; not just the stories others would tell them about him, but their very own personal memories. So, night after night, in the days following…

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Added by Jill on March 8, 2011 at 10:00am — 2 Comments

We're not "Over It" Yet

No one has ever had the balls to ask me if I’m “over it”.  I’m glad no one has had them yet for fear of what I might do to someone who would ask me such a thing.  It.  There’s a great discussion happening on a new widow forum that I’m helping to moderate.  One of the forum topics asks readers if the second year is worse?  I couldn’t help responding with a simple ‘YES’.  I wanted to scream and tell the world, “YES, THE SECOND YEAR SUCKS, I’M NOT OVER IT, MY HUSBAND’S DEAD AND NOW IT FEELS…

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Added by CrazyWidow on March 8, 2011 at 6:02am — No Comments

Wanting Grief to Be Quick

"Tonight a friend got scared by the lack of control that characterizes loss.



Spoke of 'managing our grief' and 'getting over grief.'



Curiously - we never speak of 'managing our joy' or 'getting over our happiness.'…





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Added by Alive & Mortal on March 7, 2011 at 8:23pm — 2 Comments

Life's Apprentice

Empty-handed I entered the world



Barefoot I leave it.



My coming, my going --



Two simple happenings



That got entangled.…



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Added by Alive & Mortal on March 7, 2011 at 5:43pm — No Comments

My Two Blogs

Here is the one I write on the most:

 

http://sixbendersandadog.blogspot.com

 

and this one when I'm feeling like writing stuff I cant say on the other one:

 

notthatmom.wordpress.com

 

 

Added by Momtofour on March 7, 2011 at 5:14pm — No Comments


VOLUNTEER
Joyce Carol Oates, Janet Maslin, and voicemail mementos

My little corner of the internet is  ablaze with responses to Janet Maslin's "brutal" review of… Continue

Added by Soaring Spirits on March 7, 2011 at 10:30am — No Comments

You are Not your Past

I've been attending church again.  Gasp, I know!  I have probably gone to church more in the past two months than I have in the past two years.  It's a big commitment/step.  I like to draw things from the sermons, even if, in my brain, I can't quite take it to the God level.  But, I can take it to my level, where I can look at what the pastor says according to God, and see how I can apply it in my life.  This past week, the pastor focused on the past, and how it affects our future but does…

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Added by CrazyWidow on March 7, 2011 at 9:00am — No Comments

Change

These days I'm struggling with change. Most of the time it makes me sad. During what seems like a very long time ago it didn't bother me so much. In fact, I welcomed it. I like the change of seasons and I enjoy a change of scenery. I love to change clothes and get comfortable and I really like a little change in my purse! It's so exciting to change countries and see things that I've never seen before.



A change of your mind can be a good or bad…
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Added by wannabmartha on March 6, 2011 at 5:47pm — 1 Comment

Healing Memories

I wrote yesterday about the influence basketball has had on our life. It was nice to recall those special memories, as I've been stuck in only being able to focus on the long, hard cancer battle.  Remembering all that happened during those very tough 4-1/2 years causes me to second-guess the decisions we made along the way - the should haves/could haves of the chemo and radiation treatments, kidney failure/dialysis, the doctors involved, the many infections, the unexpected challenges, the pain… Continue

Added by Dianne in Nevada on March 6, 2011 at 11:53am — No Comments

Feeling Widowy...

OK, I know that widowy isn’t a word, but it is a description of how I feel today. Widowy isn’t quite full on sadness. Widowy is more like melancholy.  My grief, my sadness blows around me like a gentle breeze. It’s a breeze that I notice, but it’s not the hurricane force of grief that can throw me to the ground.  Widowy for me is kind of sweet and sad all together.

Here in Arizona, the weather is cold, but beautiful these days.  In the end of January and early February the events…

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Added by widowisland on March 6, 2011 at 6:25am — No Comments

Relit and Realistic

Delighted now

Or should I say,

Relit?

After your ashes spread,

I scattered

away from the sun.

Artificial indoor light

bulbs burning all night long

through the winter

after you had gone.

Spring 2006 came on

like a dirty rat

revealing everyone's bliss,

my empty, messy lot.

I didn't want to look,

didn't have the right lens,

needed a box with a pinhole

to take in the…

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Added by Jill on March 4, 2011 at 5:55am — 2 Comments

My blog - not for the faint of heart, I admit...

Blog: expressive-arts.blogspot.com

 

Website: www.aliveandmortal.org

Added by Alive & Mortal on March 3, 2011 at 9:18pm — 2 Comments

Today I had doctors appointment in Tinley Park --I was so proud, I found the place and was on time and everything went really well.  When I get in my car to go home, I burst into tears and for the ne…

Today I had doctors appointment in Tinley Park --I was so proud, I found the place and was on time and everything went really well.  When I get in my car to go home, I burst into tears and for the next 35 miles cried like he died this morning.  I have no idea why sometimes it cuts so deep and hurts so badly.  I need to get back my relationship with God - I just need a little more time on that.  It is hard not to think about the past, the present or the future.  What does one think about…

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Added by barb on March 3, 2011 at 1:00pm — No Comments

Motivation

What motivates you?



What motivates you?



Yes, I wrote it twice on purpose. Well, what is it? Money? Fame? Public Acknowledgement? Those are pretty sad motivations if it fits you right now. I've never wanted any of those and don't intend to pursue them until they are achieved.



Proud. That's it for me. I want my a family and friends to be proud of the way I live my life. I want them to know I've done more for others than myself. I want God to know that I live for… Continue

Added by james7 on March 3, 2011 at 12:37pm — 1 Comment

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