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This site is run by widowed people, for widowed people

Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

All Blog Posts (4,221)

It Only Takes ....

.... a moment.

One teeny tiny moment .... to change your world.

To destroy your world as you know it.

To make you feel as if you will drop dead.



Just one moment.



I have been trying and trying to upload a picture for the top of this entry, but I'm in a hotel and the computer won't let me upload pics.  So I will do my best to leave the web site so that you can click on it and then see it.…

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Added by Janine (txmomx6) on March 16, 2011 at 8:11pm — 8 Comments

Tax Information for Widows

Editor’s Note: Many Widows and Widowers find tax time confusing, especially the first year or two after your spouse has died. I’ve asked Kelly Phillips Erb, tax attorney and tax blogger, for some tax advice which she has generously shared here. Kelly first wrote this article in 2009, so there may be some dated information, but I wanted to…

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Added by Sherry on March 16, 2011 at 5:34pm — No Comments

Widower Wednesday: What I Would and Can Give Up

When Kevin died, I said over and over that I would have given up anything to have him still be here on earth.  I no longer feel that immediacy.  While I wish he hadn't passed, I'm content in my new life and where my chapter two is headed.  The immediacy, to have him here in order to survive, is gone.  I am happy to embrace my presence now and see him in the other life.

As tragedy unfolds around me from countries being swallowed by earth and water, to new widows entering this world, to…

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Added by CrazyWidow on March 16, 2011 at 7:00am — 2 Comments

Sometimes Fooling Yourself is A Good Thing, Especially When You're Grieving

When you're in the throes of grief, you need a few personal tricks to keep on moving through the pain, especially in the early months and years after sustaining a major loss. We all have tricks we play, we just may not be aware of what they are. Joan Didion called it Magical Thinking. I think a little mental magic might be essential to the new widow or widower's survival.

 

I was partial to frequent lunch and coffee dates with sympathetic friends because they made me feel that…

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Added by Jill on March 15, 2011 at 6:46pm — 3 Comments

EMDR

My brain is on overload this morning.  Friday I began therapy.  Part of my therapy is the general kind, the other is something called EMDR.  Most people think I'm nuts when I talk about what EMDR involves.  I have decided I am not going to think too much about how it works, and just focus on believing that it's going to work for me.

 

Maybe you don't associate losing your husband as involving trauma…

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Added by CrazyWidow on March 14, 2011 at 7:49am — 3 Comments

Ode to Widville

 

 

Welcome to our village of widowhood

Pull up a chair it’s all good…

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Added by patter on March 13, 2011 at 9:36am — 1 Comment

Can you make me look younger?





Earlier today I took my son to get his hair cut. He's the Emo kid with the cool do, so I always have to pick a stylist that will make him happy. As I sat their waiting for him to be ever so perfectly coiffed, I began looking through the latest Details men's magazine. I flipped through a few of the pages, then came across an article titled "5 Ways to Look Younger In Less… Continue

Added by Dan Cano on March 11, 2011 at 9:12pm — 3 Comments


VOLUNTEER
Turning the corner on grief





How do you know when you're turning the corner on grief?, they ask. There's hope and confusion in their eyes. And who wouldn't want the pain to end? But I can't lie and say, "On day one of year two, you will be all fixed up." I would… Continue

Added by Soaring Spirits on March 11, 2011 at 10:33am — 4 Comments

The Twins and Their Shadows

My fourth grade year concluded with long shadows cast over it.

 

The class was all elbows and knees. Everything seemed like possibility upon possibility. Though I was never the center of attention, I quietly went about making friends. Among my classmates were “the twins”, Bobby and Ricky. They looked remarkably similar. Bobby was a wee bit taller, had a…

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Added by Alive & Mortal on March 10, 2011 at 10:00pm — 1 Comment

Where are you

 

I think that I today ,realized that my husband (because he was sick for so long) has left us much longer then six month ago and that made me very said.I wonder how he left and I did not realized it.My daughter said ,that he left us last May ,when the found all his brain tumors and I was just to bussy, finding new cures to see it.Maybe she is right ,I lost him so much longer then  what it seams.So where do I go from here ?I guess ,I have to start a new life .I will call it my second…

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Added by faymeister on March 10, 2011 at 3:00pm — 3 Comments


VOLUNTEER
Market outlook



"Of course, these numbers would look a lot different if you'd sold it in 2005 or 2006," he said with the bright kind of regret that makes you know he had a good year that year. He was nice enough -- more than nice, really -- the real estate… Continue

Added by Soaring Spirits on March 10, 2011 at 10:30am — No Comments

First Dates Can Be Fun!

If you haven't dated in 10, 20, or maybe even 30 years, the prospect of doing so can be a little daunting. The rules have changed and you may need a refresher course. One way to learn is to jump right in and get on-the-job training!…


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Added by Dating & Relationship Coach on March 9, 2011 at 10:04am — No Comments


VOLUNTEER
Joyce Carol Oates, Janet Maslin, and the problematic second husband

Joyce Carol Oates with husband #2 at their…
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Added by Soaring Spirits on March 8, 2011 at 10:30am — No Comments

A Priceless Gift You Can Give To Young Children After They Lose a Parent

 

 

 

After Ken died, our children were little. I didn't want them to forget the memories that belonged to them of their father; not just the stories others would tell them about him, but their very own personal memories. So, night after night, in the days following…

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Added by Jill on March 8, 2011 at 10:00am — 2 Comments

We're not "Over It" Yet

No one has ever had the balls to ask me if I’m “over it”.  I’m glad no one has had them yet for fear of what I might do to someone who would ask me such a thing.  It.  There’s a great discussion happening on a new widow forum that I’m helping to moderate.  One of the forum topics asks readers if the second year is worse?  I couldn’t help responding with a simple ‘YES’.  I wanted to scream and tell the world, “YES, THE SECOND YEAR SUCKS, I’M NOT OVER IT, MY HUSBAND’S DEAD AND NOW IT FEELS…

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Added by CrazyWidow on March 8, 2011 at 6:02am — No Comments

Wanting Grief to Be Quick

"Tonight a friend got scared by the lack of control that characterizes loss.



Spoke of 'managing our grief' and 'getting over grief.'



Curiously - we never speak of 'managing our joy' or 'getting over our happiness.'…





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Added by Alive & Mortal on March 7, 2011 at 8:23pm — 2 Comments

Life's Apprentice

Empty-handed I entered the world



Barefoot I leave it.



My coming, my going --



Two simple happenings



That got entangled.…



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Added by Alive & Mortal on March 7, 2011 at 5:43pm — No Comments

My Two Blogs

Here is the one I write on the most:

 

http://sixbendersandadog.blogspot.com

 

and this one when I'm feeling like writing stuff I cant say on the other one:

 

notthatmom.wordpress.com

 

 

Added by Momtofour on March 7, 2011 at 5:14pm — No Comments


VOLUNTEER
Joyce Carol Oates, Janet Maslin, and voicemail mementos

My little corner of the internet is  ablaze with responses to Janet Maslin's "brutal" review of… Continue

Added by Soaring Spirits on March 7, 2011 at 10:30am — No Comments

You are Not your Past

I've been attending church again.  Gasp, I know!  I have probably gone to church more in the past two months than I have in the past two years.  It's a big commitment/step.  I like to draw things from the sermons, even if, in my brain, I can't quite take it to the God level.  But, I can take it to my level, where I can look at what the pastor says according to God, and see how I can apply it in my life.  This past week, the pastor focused on the past, and how it affects our future but does…

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Added by CrazyWidow on March 7, 2011 at 9:00am — No Comments

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