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Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

All Blog Posts (4,321)

ROGER DIED, NOT PASSED AWAY

Roger Nichols, my dearly-loved husband, died 22 days, 13 hours, 1 minute and 3 seconds ago.



Besides the horror of watching his last breath, I remember needing to know the exact time. Roger would care greatly about that. He always had to know the exact time according to GMT, the best time our civilization can concoct. Time was very important to him. He needed to know the exact second our daughters… Continue

Added by Connie on May 2, 2011 at 8:46am — 4 Comments

Birthday Blues

Mark was born at the beginning of March and died at the end of March. Two years being widowed, and our cat just died in February, so I really felt alone. I did pretty well getting through March though.



April seemed better. …

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Added by Kocicka on May 1, 2011 at 8:42pm — 3 Comments

Make it stop, please.

Life continues to be more interesting than I want, and consistently painful.  I really don't like who I am these days, especially as I see some thing that needs to be done in the near future, that I desperately don't want to do or feel able to do, but feel like I must.  The kicker is, that I can't even vent about it without feeling worse - too many of my friends would be able to do it and wouldn't understand my fear.  As it is, a number of the things which are overwhelming me just now get a… Continue

Added by Maya, GEM's kyttn on May 1, 2011 at 5:13am — 8 Comments

A big step...

I am not discouraged, because every wrong attempt discarded is another step forward. – Thomas Edison



I have taken a huge step in this grief process.

I have taken off my wedding ring.



I feel the need to keep pushing myself onward through this and I can’t co-exist in two worlds. One in which I am still betrothed to my husband, and one in which I will allow new relationships and new beginnings into my life. I cannot continue to be committed to someone who is not… Continue

Added by Tenfour on April 29, 2011 at 5:45pm — 3 Comments

Time

Time

 

It’s so hard to believe that 2 years have almost come and gone without Dave here physically by our side.  Time, 2 years ago on April on April 27th when I was just coming home from a funeral on the East Coast for a dear friend’s young son, I wouldn’t have thought that Dave’s voice…

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Added by T on April 29, 2011 at 8:48am — 4 Comments

The 3 year mark

Next Friday (5/6) will mark the three year anniversary to me becoming a widow.  When I was first widowed, other widows would tell me that the third year was the worst.  I could never understand how that could be possible, but now, I do.  I have been more emotional, short-fused, and feeling more unhinged in the past few days than I have in the past 2 1/2 years.  I  have cried more in the past two or three days than I have over the past year.  It was even more frustrating to have no idea as to…

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Added by Shannon on April 28, 2011 at 8:00pm — 4 Comments

My Silly Excited About Camp Widow Post

Can I just squeal? I am so stoked for August.  I've become good friends with a lot of you and can't wait to meet everyone! I am coming in on Thursday early afternoon, and staying till monday afternoon.  I figured since I have a sitter, I would give myself a mini vacation and time to recharge.  Plus my roomate Erin and I are hoping to do something, as well as some of us going out thursday night after we all get in.  I hope everyone is as excited as me, because I wish it was August already!!!

Added by Momtofour on April 27, 2011 at 7:58am — 6 Comments

"Fleet-ing Thoughts": In Loving Memory of a Widow: Quiet Reflections...and Loud Actions

In Loving Memory of a Widow

Quiet Reflections…and Loud Actions

 

 

Today is a very quiet day.

 

Make no mistake - it's still a typical Tuesday at work.  Lots to do, lots to write, lots of deadlines, emails, phone calls…

 

Lots of...stuff.

 

But it's still a very quiet day.

 

It's one of those rare times where I struggle for words – but not for tears.  Tears…

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Added by Widows Wear Stilettos on April 26, 2011 at 3:11pm — No Comments

Mementos, mementos, mementos

So, I’m one of those folks who saves things. Over the last decade I’ve tried to become more discriminating about what I consider a keepsake.  This cutback in keeping things was motivated by the fact that I lived in a small space with two other pack rats.  My husband was a “collector” of things – hats, t shirts, matchbooks, golf tees – really almost anything. I am a collector of mementos and clothes that I think will last forever.  Well, to my horror, our first born son is the most extreme…

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Added by widowisland on April 25, 2011 at 5:30pm — 2 Comments


VOLUNTEER
Widow's Cooking, or, What's Burning Tonight?





At least 1000 pots after Gavin's death, I widowed the fucking coffee again today. Around here, if we're in the kitchen, "widowed" usually means more or less burned, although Mr. Fresh insists that last night I "widowed" the partner of the rice, not the rice (or the pot). Peh! If I can destroy a 1-qt 18-18-stainless… Continue

Added by Soaring Spirits on April 25, 2011 at 6:00am — 20 Comments

When my husband passed away...

When my husband passed away his visitation and funeral was on Easter and Easter Monday. Although in 2007 Easter was on April 8th and I buried him on April 9th.  So when April 8th and 9th rolls around I have that memory and grieving.  But then when Easter and Easter Monday rolls around I feel like greiving again.  So today I was thinking instead of grieving twice in the month of April I would go out and have some fun.  So a I went out to a friends place and went 4 wheeling, and relaxed in…

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Added by Kathy H on April 24, 2011 at 6:30pm — 1 Comment

How Loss Made Me Lucky

Does it have to take a tragedy for some people to love the life they have right now? I'm sorry to say that's what did it for me. It took the death of an incredible man, husband, and father to make me love more purely what's right in front of me.  I'm not proud of this, but it's the truth. My husband? He loved his life before he got sick. There are plenty of people just like him. But I was not one of them. So please forgive the rant I'm about to make. This is not a holier than thou speech.… Continue

Added by Jill on April 23, 2011 at 9:43pm — 6 Comments

"Fleet-ing Thoughts": "Loyalty" vs. Living Again

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Added by Widows Wear Stilettos on April 23, 2011 at 9:09pm — No Comments

"Fleet-ing Thoughts": Birthdays

…

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Added by Widows Wear Stilettos on April 23, 2011 at 8:30pm — No Comments

"Fleet-ing Thoughts": Is This it?

Is This It?

It's over.


He's gone.


The doctors and the hospitals and the insurance companies and the tumult and the constant parades of people (well-meaning and otherwise).
The exercise in survival into which the most heinous, evil illness on earth turned a once happily bustling home.
The excruciating pain of…
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Added by Widows Wear Stilettos on April 23, 2011 at 8:30pm — No Comments

Finding Love After Loss: Dating Turnoffs

Jennifer Lopez said, "If you kiss on the first date and it's not right, then there will be no second date." Here are my top twelve reasons why you may not be getting offers for second dates.



Are you the King or Queen of the first date, but it never leads to having a second date? Check to see if…
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Added by Dating & Relationship Coach on April 22, 2011 at 12:30pm — No Comments

My Journey To Loss: The preface. (Part 1 of 5)

This story begins back in the late '90's, a working class kid graduating high school, his high school girlfriend had turned into more of a best friend, and next week would be the beginning of full time hours at a part time job for the summer.  That job was singing up patients for TV service and collecting payments from them at local hospitals.  Come fall he added being a full time college student to that full time job, and picked up a few hours as a work study in the college's AV department…

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Added by A Widowed Father on April 21, 2011 at 12:14pm — 2 Comments

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