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All Blog Posts (4,336)

perservere and endure

per-ser-vere – To persist in a purpose, an idea, or a task in the face of obstacles or discouragement.

en-dure – 1. To carry on through despite hardships, undergo. 2. To bear with tolerance: endure the consequences.


To persevere and endure are to concepts that are a big part of my life since my husband’s death. It is really the only way I know how to exist anymore.  Days are not the way they were when he was alive.  There is a…


Added by widowisland on April 9, 2011 at 1:51pm — 5 Comments

Bitter sweet day!

Today is a bitter sweet day.  Four years ago today it was my husband Rick's furneral.  So once again it is a day of emotions.  A day of remembering all that pain and grief.  The sweet side of today is that my daughter,  son-in-law and my very special (almost) 3yr old grandson is coming for a visit.  I know today my day is going to be full of love, excitement and a lots of laughs.  The bitter side of today is that Rick is not here to enjoy it with me.  With this day being a little more emotional… Continue

Added by Kathy H on April 9, 2011 at 4:36am — No Comments


Truth is simply whatever you bring yourself to believe. – Alice Childress

Not long after Andie died I read a couple books pertaining to signs that our loved ones give us from the other side. I was terrified of missing some sign or communication due to lack of knowledge about the subject. One of the most common ways that our… Continue

Added by Tenfour on April 8, 2011 at 7:13pm — 3 Comments

Recapture the Day

On Friday my therapist told me I needed to recapture the days that I lost in Kevin's death: our anniversary, his birthday.  The past few years, even my birthday has felt lost because of his death.  I don't really know how to begin doing this, but I am trying to start today.

I woke up, knowing it was Kevin's would-be 39th birthday, and I didn't feel that SINK.  The SINK is that feeling where my heart falls, takes with it my throat, and launches onto my stomach before resting unsoundly…


Added by CrazyWidow on April 7, 2011 at 10:47am — 2 Comments

Looks Good Ahead

This is a taste of my future.  Come May 4, I’ll be flying into San Jose, Costa Rica with my boyfriend.  It’s all courtesy of the travel writing contest I won through Wyndham Women Local Nation.  I have never left the country, other than to Puerto Rica & Canada.  This is a whole new exploration for me, and I am very excited!  Not only is it my/our first trip to Costa Rica, but it’s also my first…


Added by CrazyWidow on April 7, 2011 at 5:08am — 1 Comment

How to Date Me, a Widow

I bring certain things with me to the table that others do not.  Please do not call this “baggage” – that is insulting.  My husband, my life story, and my heartache are cheapened by that kind of crass terminology.  Everyone has a history, a story, some things to be proud of, some things to regret, and some things they bring to the table through no fault or action of their own.  I am just like everyone else in this way.

My history is unique, so dating me will be different the dating…


Added by Wendy on April 6, 2011 at 11:57am — 17 Comments

Ugly The Cat

Author unknown


Everyone in the apartment complex I lived in knew who Ugly was. Ugly was the resident tomcat. Ugly loved three things in this world: fighting, eating garbage, and, shall we say, love.


The combination of these things combined with a life spent outside had their effect on Ugly. To start with, he had only one eye and where the other should have been was a hole. He was also missing his ear on the same side, his left foot…


Added by Alive & Mortal on April 5, 2011 at 7:00pm — 1 Comment

ᴏᴜʀ ᴏᴡɴ ɪᴍᴘᴇʀᴍᴀɴᴇɴᴄᴇ

Iᴛ sᴇᴇᴍs ᴏᴜʀ ᴏᴡɴ ɪᴍᴘᴇʀᴍᴀɴᴇɴᴄᴇ ɪs ᴄᴏɴᴄᴇᴀʟᴇᴅ fʀᴏᴍ ᴜs.

Tʜᴇ ᴛʀᴇᴇs sᴛᴀɴᴅ fɪʀᴍ, ᴛʜᴇ ʜᴏᴜsᴇs ᴡᴇ ʟɪᴠᴇ ɪɴ ᴀʀᴇ sᴛɪʟʟ ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ. 

Wᴇ ᴀʟᴏɴᴇ fʟᴏᴡ ᴘᴀsᴛ ɪᴛ ᴀʟʟ, ᴀɴ ᴇxᴄʜᴀɴɢᴇ ᴏf ᴀɪʀ.

Eᴠᴇʀʏᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴄᴏɴsᴘɪʀᴇs ᴛᴏ sɪʟᴇɴᴄᴇ ᴜs, ᴘᴀʀᴛʟʏ ᴡɪᴛʜ sʜᴀᴍᴇ, ᴘᴀʀᴛʟʏ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴜɴsᴘᴇᴀᴋᴀʙʟᴇ ʜᴏᴘᴇ.



Added by Alive & Mortal on April 5, 2011 at 6:30pm — No Comments

Finding this site...

Another nite of being up all night and on the computer, searching, searching for what, I don't know. Just needing something to occupy my mind till the sun started coming up, and I found this site. I think I was suppose to find it now, I read and read and read and seen so many stories of me, of my loss, and how I still feel.


I lost my husband Jerry of 36 years to Leukemia April 22, 2008. I hate April, I hate February, our Anniversary month, also mine and our sons birthday…


Added by LostJudy on April 5, 2011 at 2:21pm — 2 Comments

The memories return

Four years ago this morning I woke up and found that my husband Rick had passed.  It was such a shock.  At first it didn't seem real.  I even poked him thinking I could wake him up when I knew I couldn't.  A lot of the hussle and bussle of that day I don't remember clearly. There were so many people in and out of my house. But I do remember telling my two grown children that their dad was gone.  That was the hardest thing I ever had to do.  When April 5th rolls around each year that is the…


Added by Kathy H on April 5, 2011 at 1:30pm — 1 Comment

My Spontaneity Done Gone Missing

I like going back to the places I have visited before, which I know I love.  Assateague.  The Cabin.  There are a few choice spots that I visit regularly because it feels like my second home there.  It’s not a bad thing – I have great memories at these places, so it’s no wonder I travel back again and again and love it everytime.

Traveling to places I love is never a bad thing, but is it preventing me from exploring new places?  I used to be completely spontaneous (ok, not…


Added by CrazyWidow on April 5, 2011 at 8:27am — No Comments

April Newsletter from Soaring Spirits!!


Added by Janine (txmomx6) on April 4, 2011 at 5:14am — No Comments

Just When You Thought It Was Safe to Go Back in The Water ....


.... another wave comes and smacks you from behind .....




I love the ocean.  Always have.

Jim did, too.  We were a "beach family".  Loved…


Added by Janine (txmomx6) on April 4, 2011 at 5:10am — 3 Comments


Being alone is hard ... being alone after spending 41 years with the love of my life is nearly impossible.  The aloneness is consuming. He's not here. He won't ever be here again.  I  miss Vern. I will always miss him. It's not a matter of accepting invitations from friends to do things with them or just getting myself out of the house for a ride or shopping or whatever. Those are things that take up time. They are distractions. They don't do anything to take away my aloneness, my sadness. It's… Continue

Added by Dianne in Nevada on April 3, 2011 at 8:47pm — 4 Comments


I wrote this on my blog today.. but for us that are newly widowed.. I felt it worthy for the sharing



Added by patter on April 3, 2011 at 8:09am — No Comments

5 Simple Mindfulness Techniques for Grieving People

Still Water

We can make our minds so like still water that beings gather about us, that they may see, it may be, their own images, and so live for a moment with a clearer, perhaps even with a fiercer life because of our quiet.…


Added by Alive & Mortal on April 2, 2011 at 7:20pm — 1 Comment

This is How We Do It, It's Friday Night...

How does one tell if a date has been a disaster?  I think mine last night was.

I met this guy about a month ago.  We hit it off really well.  We talked for a couple hours at the bar the night we met, and our first date went on for hours and hours as well.  We started talking on the phone and via text pretty regularly.  There was…

Added by Wendy on April 2, 2011 at 8:00am — 3 Comments

What Widows Fear: Write it Out!

I can remember it like it was yesterday: the heart-pounding, animal-like fear I felt when we found out that Ken had cancer. If anything is going to activate fear, there's nothing like a cancer diagnosis preceded by weeks of tests and not knowing the outcome. The doctor appointments, the scans, the x-rays, the diagnostic surgeries, the lack of control, put it all together you've got the perfect recipe for being scared out of your mind. That's just my story. For some of you, it was a call from…


Added by Jill on March 31, 2011 at 9:30pm — No Comments

I wanted Four

I wanted four.  After being a birthing coach for my best friend when I was 19, and witnessing the amazement of the female body, I decided I wanted oodles of children.  When I met Kevin, who was 12 years older than I, we agreed to 2-4 children.  We didn’t have a set number, or time period, we’d just “wait and see”.  It was good for us at the time.

Wait and see turned out to be never.  Kevin was diagnosed with a rare Angiosarcoma tumor in August 2008, and after undergoing a radical…


Added by CrazyWidow on March 31, 2011 at 5:29am — No Comments


My husband died.  2 years 5 months 3 days ago.  While the length at which I have been separated by my husband, from death, is a "reasonable amount of time", I still get sad.

I am sad right now.  I hide it, or at least I try to.  I bottle it up and put a HAPPY stamp on it.  Inside though, at least the past few weeks, I have been brewing, stirring, concocting a nasty recipe of despair.  Wow, despair.  Desperate.  Yep, I think that suits it.

The HAPPY stamp is rubbing off.  I have…


Added by CrazyWidow on March 31, 2011 at 5:28am — 1 Comment

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