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This site is run by widowed people, for widowed people

Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

All Blog Posts (4,389)

ᴏᴜʀ ᴏᴡɴ ɪᴍᴘᴇʀᴍᴀɴᴇɴᴄᴇ

Iᴛ sᴇᴇᴍs ᴏᴜʀ ᴏᴡɴ ɪᴍᴘᴇʀᴍᴀɴᴇɴᴄᴇ ɪs ᴄᴏɴᴄᴇᴀʟᴇᴅ fʀᴏᴍ ᴜs.



Tʜᴇ ᴛʀᴇᴇs sᴛᴀɴᴅ fɪʀᴍ, ᴛʜᴇ ʜᴏᴜsᴇs ᴡᴇ ʟɪᴠᴇ ɪɴ ᴀʀᴇ sᴛɪʟʟ ᴛʜᴇʀᴇ. 



Wᴇ ᴀʟᴏɴᴇ fʟᴏᴡ ᴘᴀsᴛ ɪᴛ ᴀʟʟ, ᴀɴ ᴇxᴄʜᴀɴɢᴇ ᴏf ᴀɪʀ.



Eᴠᴇʀʏᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴄᴏɴsᴘɪʀᴇs ᴛᴏ sɪʟᴇɴᴄᴇ ᴜs, ᴘᴀʀᴛʟʏ ᴡɪᴛʜ sʜᴀᴍᴇ, ᴘᴀʀᴛʟʏ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴜɴsᴘᴇᴀᴋᴀʙʟᴇ ʜᴏᴘᴇ.

 …

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Added by Alive & Mortal on April 5, 2011 at 6:30pm — No Comments

Finding this site...

Another nite of being up all night and on the computer, searching, searching for what, I don't know. Just needing something to occupy my mind till the sun started coming up, and I found this site. I think I was suppose to find it now, I read and read and read and seen so many stories of me, of my loss, and how I still feel.

 

I lost my husband Jerry of 36 years to Leukemia April 22, 2008. I hate April, I hate February, our Anniversary month, also mine and our sons birthday…

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Added by LostJudy on April 5, 2011 at 2:21pm — 2 Comments

The memories return

Four years ago this morning I woke up and found that my husband Rick had passed.  It was such a shock.  At first it didn't seem real.  I even poked him thinking I could wake him up when I knew I couldn't.  A lot of the hussle and bussle of that day I don't remember clearly. There were so many people in and out of my house. But I do remember telling my two grown children that their dad was gone.  That was the hardest thing I ever had to do.  When April 5th rolls around each year that is the…

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Added by Kathy H on April 5, 2011 at 1:30pm — 1 Comment

My Spontaneity Done Gone Missing

I like going back to the places I have visited before, which I know I love.  Assateague.  The Cabin.  There are a few choice spots that I visit regularly because it feels like my second home there.  It’s not a bad thing – I have great memories at these places, so it’s no wonder I travel back again and again and love it everytime.

Traveling to places I love is never a bad thing, but is it preventing me from exploring new places?  I used to be completely spontaneous (ok, not…

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Added by CrazyWidow on April 5, 2011 at 8:27am — No Comments

April Newsletter from Soaring Spirits!!

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Added by Janine (txmomx6) on April 4, 2011 at 5:14am — No Comments

Just When You Thought It Was Safe to Go Back in The Water ....

 

.... another wave comes and smacks you from behind .....

 

 

 

I love the ocean.  Always have.

Jim did, too.  We were a "beach family".  Loved…

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Added by Janine (txmomx6) on April 4, 2011 at 5:10am — 3 Comments

Alone

Being alone is hard ... being alone after spending 41 years with the love of my life is nearly impossible.  The aloneness is consuming. He's not here. He won't ever be here again.  I  miss Vern. I will always miss him. It's not a matter of accepting invitations from friends to do things with them or just getting myself out of the house for a ride or shopping or whatever. Those are things that take up time. They are distractions. They don't do anything to take away my aloneness, my sadness. It's… Continue

Added by Dianne in Nevada on April 3, 2011 at 8:47pm — 4 Comments

Nature

I wrote this on my blog today.. but for us that are newly widowed.. I felt it worthy for the sharing

 

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Added by patter on April 3, 2011 at 8:09am — No Comments

5 Simple Mindfulness Techniques for Grieving People

Still Water

We can make our minds so like still water that beings gather about us, that they may see, it may be, their own images, and so live for a moment with a clearer, perhaps even with a fiercer life because of our quiet.…

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Added by Alive & Mortal on April 2, 2011 at 7:20pm — 1 Comment

This is How We Do It, It's Friday Night...

How does one tell if a date has been a disaster?  I think mine last night was.



I met this guy about a month ago.  We hit it off really well.  We talked for a couple hours at the bar the night we met, and our first date went on for hours and hours as well.  We started talking on the phone and via text pretty regularly.  There was…
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Added by Wendy on April 2, 2011 at 8:00am — 3 Comments

What Widows Fear: Write it Out!

I can remember it like it was yesterday: the heart-pounding, animal-like fear I felt when we found out that Ken had cancer. If anything is going to activate fear, there's nothing like a cancer diagnosis preceded by weeks of tests and not knowing the outcome. The doctor appointments, the scans, the x-rays, the diagnostic surgeries, the lack of control, put it all together you've got the perfect recipe for being scared out of your mind. That's just my story. For some of you, it was a call from…

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Added by Jill on March 31, 2011 at 9:30pm — No Comments

I wanted Four

I wanted four.  After being a birthing coach for my best friend when I was 19, and witnessing the amazement of the female body, I decided I wanted oodles of children.  When I met Kevin, who was 12 years older than I, we agreed to 2-4 children.  We didn’t have a set number, or time period, we’d just “wait and see”.  It was good for us at the time.

Wait and see turned out to be never.  Kevin was diagnosed with a rare Angiosarcoma tumor in August 2008, and after undergoing a radical…

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Added by CrazyWidow on March 31, 2011 at 5:29am — No Comments

Sad

My husband died.  2 years 5 months 3 days ago.  While the length at which I have been separated by my husband, from death, is a "reasonable amount of time", I still get sad.

I am sad right now.  I hide it, or at least I try to.  I bottle it up and put a HAPPY stamp on it.  Inside though, at least the past few weeks, I have been brewing, stirring, concocting a nasty recipe of despair.  Wow, despair.  Desperate.  Yep, I think that suits it.

The HAPPY stamp is rubbing off.  I have…

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Added by CrazyWidow on March 31, 2011 at 5:28am — 1 Comment

Conundrum - Privileged yet Unworth

A friend Bryan finally had the guts to share his demons. He stepped out on a very shaky limb, and shared his concerns.  It is awesome, I’m proud of him.  I have been fighting through my own demons the past few days, weeks, months, maybe even going on years.  The “What’s Next?” anxiety.

Last night, in my usual widowhood/grief/frustration, I felt that privilege.  I realized this morning that…

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Added by CrazyWidow on March 31, 2011 at 5:27am — No Comments

Oatmeal Please.



I’m stuck.  I am getting “opportunities” left and right that include free perks, meeting cool people.  On paper, it’s awesome.  In my heart, my mind, my soul, I’m going nowhere soon.

I read my friend Paul’s blog today and lightbulbs went off all over my brain.  But then it went back to the picture above.  Mush.  Cream of Wheat to be specific.  Healthy for you, but not the tastiest thing on earth.  Not that any of the emotions in that…

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Added by CrazyWidow on March 31, 2011 at 5:26am — No Comments

Making a Purse from a Sow's Ear...



Cancer survivor uses expired meds for…

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Added by Alive & Mortal on March 30, 2011 at 4:30am — No Comments


VOLUNTEER
Junk mail for the dead, or, YOU CANNOT BE TURNED DOWN!



Sometimes a piece of junk mail can really make your day. Widowed people are pretty used to receiving mail, email, and phone calls for their late spouses. At first, these situations can hurt, and be another occasion to "break the news" yet… Continue

Added by Soaring Spirits on March 29, 2011 at 5:00pm — No Comments

Communicating with Children through Sand Play

Direct conversation? It has it's limitations.

 

Studies show that blood flow moves away from the cognitive language centers of the brain when there is trauma or grief. Children, generally, already have less developed verbal abilities. They also have age-appropriate limitations with certain types of understanding and abstract thinking.Trauma and stress can effect children differently, and they will try and act or play it…

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Added by Alive & Mortal on March 28, 2011 at 2:30pm — 1 Comment

Take a Survey About Your Personal Experience with Grief

Would you like to contribute to the knowledge base of what grief is really like by participating in a research survey? The online publication SLATE is asking those who have suffered the loss of a loved one to take an anonymous survey on the topic of What Is Grief Really Like?

 

If you are interested in participating, check out the link here:   http://www.slate.com/id/2289332?wpisrc=sl_ipad

Added by Jill on March 27, 2011 at 5:54pm — No Comments

The New Road

 

some where on the I-5 in CA heading south



862 miles


14 hours in the car


in two days
.

Less actually, because we left at 
1:00 pm on Friday
 and got back tonight (Saturday) at 7:00 pm.





It started with a casual comment.
"Hey,…

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Added by BlackWidow3 on March 26, 2011 at 11:30pm — 3 Comments

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