So my youngest asked one of her sisters "Where's daddy?" It was a beautiful day - and Meghan (who does not get along with her little sister by the way) - looked up, pointed to the sky, and said "Right there, behind that cloud, where the sun is shining." Wow.
Today marks 18 months to the day our lives changed so dramatically. It’s really amazing to me that this grief today seems different that my past grieving. It’s not so much the pain that Heidi is gone which was the earlier grief. It’s almost like a type of secondary grieving or grieving now the more dramatic affects of the loss. In a way it almost feels like I am grieving that part of me that died with Heidi. I mean I know I’m alive and breathing and did not physically die, but in a way I…Continue
Yesterday and today bring back so many memories (which I wrote about in my widow's blog Dianne's Blog). I've found myself reading back through some of my CaringBridge journal entries of that earlier time and I'm rather surprised to read the tone of my journaling. I remember those times now with horror - the news of the cancer, the horrible prognosis, the surgery, the mistakes, the terrible pain and suffering - and yet…Continue
|Pepperdine University Graduation 2011…|
Thank you again to everyone who has responded with overtures of friendship and support! It means a great deal to read those notes, even when I've not been in a place where I could pull myself together to respond properly. I think I'm slowly getting my act together again, though it may just be the pain pills for my root canal.
While there are all the normal little things pressing on me, like Greg not being here to deal with tax issues, or to help with grocery shopping, or to…Continue
It has now been 103 days since I lost my husband and I just finished sobbing on the telephone with a close friend of mine. Last night a male friend called me up and said he wanted me to go for dinner with him. I hemmed and hawed because I had not been out in public since my husband passed. I thought that since it was a Monday night that the restaurant would be pretty empty and we went rather late....restaurant only had a…Continue
Here's one of my favorite easy recipes -- requested by our friend @Naz for her Cooking Club:
Curried lamb, a complete meal
(Good for one adult and a few kids. So far, all kids tested LOVE it. Might depend on not putting in tons of curry?)
-- About 1 lb of ground lamb
-- curry powder
-- cooking oil any kind
-- salt, pepper
-- Jar of plain spaghetti sauce (I use a sugarless marinara from Barilla or Classico -- nothing fancy with cheese or meat or olives…
Mark was born at the beginning of March and died at the end of March. Two years being widowed, and our cat just died in February, so I really felt alone. I did pretty well getting through March though.
April seemed better. …Continue
It’s so hard to believe that 2 years have almost come and gone without Dave here physically by our side. Time, 2 years ago on April on April 27th when I was just coming home from a funeral on the East Coast for a dear friend’s young son, I wouldn’t have thought that Dave’s voice…Continue
Next Friday (5/6) will mark the three year anniversary to me becoming a widow. When I was first widowed, other widows would tell me that the third year was the worst. I could never understand how that could be possible, but now, I do. I have been more emotional, short-fused, and feeling more unhinged in the past few days than I have in the past 2 1/2 years. I have cried more in the past two or three days than I have over the past year. It was even more frustrating to have no idea as to…Continue
In Loving Memory of a Widow
Quiet Reflections…and Loud Actions
Today is a very quiet day.
Make no mistake - it's still a typical Tuesday at work. Lots to do, lots to write, lots of deadlines, emails, phone calls…
But it's still a very quiet day.
It's one of those rare times where I struggle for words – but not for tears. Tears…Continue
Added by Widows Wear Stilettos on April 26, 2011 at 3:11pm — No Comments
So, I’m one of those folks who saves things. Over the last decade I’ve tried to become more discriminating about what I consider a keepsake. This cutback in keeping things was motivated by the fact that I lived in a small space with two other pack rats. My husband was a “collector” of things – hats, t shirts, matchbooks, golf tees – really almost anything. I am a collector of mementos and clothes that I think will last forever. Well, to my horror, our first born son is the most extreme…Continue
When my husband passed away his visitation and funeral was on Easter and Easter Monday. Although in 2007 Easter was on April 8th and I buried him on April 9th. So when April 8th and 9th rolls around I have that memory and grieving. But then when Easter and Easter Monday rolls around I feel like greiving again. So today I was thinking instead of grieving twice in the month of April I would go out and have some fun. So a I went out to a friends place and went 4 wheeling, and relaxed in…Continue
Added by Widows Wear Stilettos on April 23, 2011 at 9:09pm — No Comments