This site is run by widowed people, for widowed people

Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

Please don't interpret anything you read here as medical, legal, or otherwise expert advice. Don't disregard any expert's advice or take any action as a result of what you read here.

We're friends, not doctors, financial or legal professionals, and we're not "grief experts." But we are here, and we've been "there."

All Blog Posts (4,468)

Just some thoughts

So my youngest asked one of her sisters "Where's daddy?"  It was a beautiful day - and Meghan (who does not get along with her little sister by the way) - looked up, pointed to the sky, and said "Right there, behind that cloud, where the sun is shining."  Wow.

Added by Sleepless in Chicago on May 5, 2011 at 6:44pm — 2 Comments

Secondary grieving?

Today marks 18 months to the day our lives changed so dramatically. It’s really amazing to me that this grief today seems different that my past grieving. It’s not so much the pain that Heidi is gone which was the earlier grief. It’s almost like a type of secondary grieving or grieving now the more dramatic affects of the loss.  In a way it almost feels like I am grieving that part of me that died with Heidi. I mean I know I’m alive and breathing and did not physically die, but in a way I…


Added by NMWidower on May 5, 2011 at 6:43pm — 8 Comments

5 years ago ...

Yesterday and today bring back so many memories (which I wrote about in my widow's blog Dianne's Blog). I've found myself reading back through some of my CaringBridge journal entries of that earlier time and I'm rather surprised to read the tone of my journaling. I remember those times now with horror - the news of the cancer, the horrible prognosis, the surgery, the mistakes, the terrible pain and suffering - and yet…


Added by Dianne in Nevada on May 5, 2011 at 9:57am — 5 Comments

Bill's Birthday Present

Pepperdine University Graduation 2011…


Added by wannabmartha on May 4, 2011 at 2:04pm — 5 Comments


Thank you again to everyone who has responded with overtures of friendship and support!  It means a great deal to read those notes, even when I've not been in a place where I could pull myself together to respond properly.  I think I'm slowly getting my act together again, though it may just be the pain pills for my root canal.


While there are all the normal little things pressing on me, like Greg not being here to deal with tax issues, or to help with grocery shopping, or to…


Added by Maya, GEM's kyttn on May 4, 2011 at 7:25am — 3 Comments

Do I really want to move on?

It has now been 103 days since I lost my husband and I just finished sobbing on the telephone with a close friend of mine.  Last night a male friend called me up and said he wanted me to go for dinner with him.  I  hemmed and hawed because I had not been out in public since my husband passed. I thought that since it was a Monday night that the restaurant would be pretty empty and we went rather only had a…


Added by Abby on May 3, 2011 at 3:27pm — 14 Comments

Recipe: curried lamb

Here's one of my favorite easy recipes -- requested by our friend @Naz for her Cooking Club:

Curried lamb, a complete meal

(Good for one adult and a few kids. So far, all kids tested LOVE it. Might depend on not putting in tons of curry?)

-- About 1 lb of ground lamb

-- curry powder

-- cooking oil any kind

-- salt, pepper

-- Jar of plain spaghetti sauce (I use a sugarless marinara from Barilla or Classico -- nothing fancy with cheese or meat or olives…


Added by Soaring Spirits on May 3, 2011 at 8:55am — 3 Comments


Roger Nichols, my dearly-loved husband, died 22 days, 13 hours, 1 minute and 3 seconds ago.

Besides the horror of watching his last breath, I remember needing to know the exact time. Roger would care greatly about that. He always had to know the exact time according to GMT, the best time our civilization can concoct. Time was very important to him. He needed to know the exact second our daughters… Continue

Added by Connie on May 2, 2011 at 8:46am — 4 Comments

Birthday Blues

Mark was born at the beginning of March and died at the end of March. Two years being widowed, and our cat just died in February, so I really felt alone. I did pretty well getting through March though.

April seemed better. …


Added by Kocicka on May 1, 2011 at 8:42pm — 3 Comments

Make it stop, please.

Life continues to be more interesting than I want, and consistently painful.  I really don't like who I am these days, especially as I see some thing that needs to be done in the near future, that I desperately don't want to do or feel able to do, but feel like I must.  The kicker is, that I can't even vent about it without feeling worse - too many of my friends would be able to do it and wouldn't understand my fear.  As it is, a number of the things which are overwhelming me just now get a… Continue

Added by Maya, GEM's kyttn on May 1, 2011 at 5:13am — 8 Comments

A big step...

I am not discouraged, because every wrong attempt discarded is another step forward. – Thomas Edison

I have taken a huge step in this grief process.

I have taken off my wedding ring.

I feel the need to keep pushing myself onward through this and I can’t co-exist in two worlds. One in which I am still betrothed to my husband, and one in which I will allow new relationships and new beginnings into my life. I cannot continue to be committed to someone who is not… Continue

Added by Tenfour on April 29, 2011 at 5:45pm — 3 Comments




It’s so hard to believe that 2 years have almost come and gone without Dave here physically by our side.  Time, 2 years ago on April on April 27th when I was just coming home from a funeral on the East Coast for a dear friend’s young son, I wouldn’t have thought that Dave’s voice…


Added by T on April 29, 2011 at 8:48am — 4 Comments

The 3 year mark

Next Friday (5/6) will mark the three year anniversary to me becoming a widow.  When I was first widowed, other widows would tell me that the third year was the worst.  I could never understand how that could be possible, but now, I do.  I have been more emotional, short-fused, and feeling more unhinged in the past few days than I have in the past 2 1/2 years.  I  have cried more in the past two or three days than I have over the past year.  It was even more frustrating to have no idea as to…


Added by Shannon on April 28, 2011 at 8:00pm — 4 Comments

My Silly Excited About Camp Widow Post

Can I just squeal? I am so stoked for August.  I've become good friends with a lot of you and can't wait to meet everyone! I am coming in on Thursday early afternoon, and staying till monday afternoon.  I figured since I have a sitter, I would give myself a mini vacation and time to recharge.  Plus my roomate Erin and I are hoping to do something, as well as some of us going out thursday night after we all get in.  I hope everyone is as excited as me, because I wish it was August already!!!

Added by Momtofour on April 27, 2011 at 7:58am — 6 Comments

"Fleet-ing Thoughts": In Loving Memory of a Widow: Quiet Reflections...and Loud Actions

In Loving Memory of a Widow

Quiet Reflections…and Loud Actions



Today is a very quiet day.


Make no mistake - it's still a typical Tuesday at work.  Lots to do, lots to write, lots of deadlines, emails, phone calls…


Lots of...stuff.


But it's still a very quiet day.


It's one of those rare times where I struggle for words – but not for tears.  Tears…


Added by Widows Wear Stilettos on April 26, 2011 at 3:11pm — No Comments

Mementos, mementos, mementos

So, I’m one of those folks who saves things. Over the last decade I’ve tried to become more discriminating about what I consider a keepsake.  This cutback in keeping things was motivated by the fact that I lived in a small space with two other pack rats.  My husband was a “collector” of things – hats, t shirts, matchbooks, golf tees – really almost anything. I am a collector of mementos and clothes that I think will last forever.  Well, to my horror, our first born son is the most extreme…


Added by widowisland on April 25, 2011 at 5:30pm — 2 Comments

Widow's Cooking, or, What's Burning Tonight?

At least 1000 pots after Gavin's death, I widowed the fucking coffee again today. Around here, if we're in the kitchen, "widowed" usually means more or less burned, although Mr. Fresh insists that last night I "widowed" the partner of the rice, not the rice (or the pot). Peh! If I can destroy a 1-qt 18-18-stainless… Continue

Added by Soaring Spirits on April 25, 2011 at 6:00am — 20 Comments

When my husband passed away...

When my husband passed away his visitation and funeral was on Easter and Easter Monday. Although in 2007 Easter was on April 8th and I buried him on April 9th.  So when April 8th and 9th rolls around I have that memory and grieving.  But then when Easter and Easter Monday rolls around I feel like greiving again.  So today I was thinking instead of grieving twice in the month of April I would go out and have some fun.  So a I went out to a friends place and went 4 wheeling, and relaxed in…


Added by Kathy H on April 24, 2011 at 6:30pm — 1 Comment

How Loss Made Me Lucky

Does it have to take a tragedy for some people to love the life they have right now? I'm sorry to say that's what did it for me. It took the death of an incredible man, husband, and father to make me love more purely what's right in front of me.  I'm not proud of this, but it's the truth. My husband? He loved his life before he got sick. There are plenty of people just like him. But I was not one of them. So please forgive the rant I'm about to make. This is not a holier than thou speech.… Continue

Added by Jill on April 23, 2011 at 9:43pm — 6 Comments

"Fleet-ing Thoughts": "Loyalty" vs. Living Again


Added by Widows Wear Stilettos on April 23, 2011 at 9:09pm — No Comments

Monthly Archives














© 2020   Created by Soaring Spirits.   Powered by

Badges  |  Report an Issue  |  Terms of Service