When you're in the throes of grief, you need a few personal tricks to keep on moving through the pain, especially in the early months and years after sustaining a major loss. We all have tricks we play, we just may not be aware of what they are. Joan Didion called it Magical Thinking. I think a little mental magic might be essential to the new widow or widower's survival.
I was partial to frequent lunch and coffee dates with sympathetic friends because they made me feel that…Continue
My brain is on overload this morning. Friday I began therapy. Part of my therapy is the general kind, the other is something called EMDR. Most people think I'm nuts when I talk about what EMDR involves. I have decided I am not going to think too much about how it works, and just focus on believing that it's going to work for me.
Maybe you don't associate losing your husband as involving trauma…Continue
Welcome to our village of widowhood
Pull up a chair it’s all good…
My fourth grade year concluded with long shadows cast over it.
The class was all elbows and knees. Everything seemed like possibility upon possibility. Though I was never the center of attention, I quietly went about making friends. Among my classmates were “the twins”, Bobby and Ricky. They looked remarkably similar. Bobby was a wee bit taller, had a…Continue
I think that I today ,realized that my husband (because he was sick for so long) has left us much longer then six month ago and that made me very said.I wonder how he left and I did not realized it.My daughter said ,that he left us last May ,when the found all his brain tumors and I was just to bussy, finding new cures to see it.Maybe she is right ,I lost him so much longer then what it seams.So where do I go from here ?I guess ,I have to start a new life .I will call it my second…Continue
Added by Soaring Spirits on March 10, 2011 at 10:30am — No Comments
Added by Dating & Relationship Coach on March 9, 2011 at 10:04am — No Comments
|Joyce Carol Oates with husband #2 at their…|
Added by Soaring Spirits on March 8, 2011 at 10:30am — No Comments
After Ken died, our children were little. I didn't want them to forget the memories that belonged to them of their father; not just the stories others would tell them about him, but their very own personal memories. So, night after night, in the days following his death, we'd sit together on one of our beds and we'd each tell one of our favorite…Continue
No one has ever had the balls to ask me if I’m “over it”. I’m glad no one has had them yet for fear of what I might do to someone who would ask me such a thing. It. There’s a great discussion happening on a new widow forum that I’m helping to moderate. One of the forum topics asks readers if the second year is worse? I couldn’t help responding with a simple ‘YES’. I wanted to scream and tell the world, “YES, THE SECOND YEAR SUCKS, I’M NOT OVER IT, MY HUSBAND’S DEAD AND NOW IT FEELS…Continue
Added by CrazyWidow on March 8, 2011 at 6:02am — No Comments
Added by Alive & Mortal on March 7, 2011 at 5:43pm — No Comments
Here is the one I write on the most:
and this one when I'm feeling like writing stuff I cant say on the other one:
Added by Momtofour on March 7, 2011 at 5:14pm — No Comments
Added by Soaring Spirits on March 7, 2011 at 10:30am — No Comments
I've been attending church again. Gasp, I know! I have probably gone to church more in the past two months than I have in the past two years. It's a big commitment/step. I like to draw things from the sermons, even if, in my brain, I can't quite take it to the God level. But, I can take it to my level, where I can look at what the pastor says according to God, and see how I can apply it in my life. This past week, the pastor focused on the past, and how it affects our future but does…Continue
Added by CrazyWidow on March 7, 2011 at 9:00am — No Comments
Added by Dianne in Nevada on March 6, 2011 at 11:53am — No Comments
OK, I know that widowy isn’t a word, but it is a description of how I feel today. Widowy isn’t quite full on sadness. Widowy is more like melancholy. My grief, my sadness blows around me like a gentle breeze. It’s a breeze that I notice, but it’s not the hurricane force of grief that can throw me to the ground. Widowy for me is kind of sweet and sad all together.
Here in Arizona, the weather is cold, but beautiful these days. In the end of January and early February the events…Continue