I've been attending church again. Gasp, I know! I have probably gone to church more in the past two months than I have in the past two years. It's a big commitment/step. I like to draw things from the sermons, even if, in my brain, I can't quite take it to the God level. But, I can take it to my level, where I can look at what the pastor says according to God, and see how I can apply it in my life. This past week, the pastor focused on the past, and how it affects our future but does…Continue
Added by CrazyWidow on March 7, 2011 at 9:00am — No Comments
Added by Dianne in Nevada on March 6, 2011 at 11:53am — No Comments
OK, I know that widowy isn’t a word, but it is a description of how I feel today. Widowy isn’t quite full on sadness. Widowy is more like melancholy. My grief, my sadness blows around me like a gentle breeze. It’s a breeze that I notice, but it’s not the hurricane force of grief that can throw me to the ground. Widowy for me is kind of sweet and sad all together.
Here in Arizona, the weather is cold, but beautiful these days. In the end of January and early February the events…Continue
Or should I say,
After your ashes spread,
away from the sun.
Artificial indoor light
bulbs burning all night long
through the winter
after you had gone.
Spring 2006 came on
like a dirty rat
revealing everyone's bliss,
my empty, messy lot.
I didn't want to look,
didn't have the right lens,
needed a box with a pinhole
to take in the…Continue
Today I had doctors appointment in Tinley Park --I was so proud, I found the place and was on time and everything went really well. When I get in my car to go home, I burst into tears and for the next 35 miles cried like he died this morning. I have no idea why sometimes it cuts so deep and hurts so badly. I need to get back my relationship with God - I just need a little more time on that. It is hard not to think about the past, the present or the future. What does one think about…Continue
Added by barb on March 3, 2011 at 1:00pm — No Comments
for 14 winters my husband and I took our 5th wheel away for 3 winter months. Little did I know how he was spoiling me and how difficult it would be when he was gone. He was sick for a long time. In fact, he greatly outlived the time they predicted. I was so comfortable being happy I didn't want to spend a lot of time thinking about his disease and yet I was aware of all the obvious physical affects the cancer was creating. Now 7 weeks later, I sit and think about all the many times I…Continue
I explore grief in writing as a way of healing. Some days, I give writing prompts you might want to try yourself. Other days, I just write. Either way, solid research shows that writing about your deepest, most important feelings can help you feel better. And hey, what's deeper than losing a spouse. Not too much!
If you enjoy my blog, I'd love to hear from you.
If you have ideas for good writing prompts to encourage others to write about their loss, please send them…Continue
Added by Jill on February 28, 2011 at 5:05pm — No Comments
Added by Dianne in Nevada on February 6, 2011 at 11:40am — No Comments
This morning, on the way to school, Hannah and I were passing the spot where my truck broke down the other day. She told me that we'll be fine today because the truck is all new, and I said yes, the truck doctor fixed it (that's what she calls my mechanic). She agrees with me, reminding me that we went and picked it up and brought it home. (Even though we only went and paid and got the keys, she insisted on being driven home in the minivan and I had to go back and get the…Continue
Just when I thought it was safe, when I stopped waiting for more bad news, when I realized that impending doom feeling was being created by me................ I came home from work Friday night and as always looked for my cat. Pepper is 17 years old and has been by my side since John passed away. I don't think she has been very happy that I have been going out to work.
I found her and noticed that she seemed very lethargic. She isn't eating and will only take a little bit of…Continue
I was going to share this on my current, personal blog, however, I thought I would start here. Amongst friends who may share an understanding. Please note that I use foul language and I will be talking about the spiritual - not the religious. I also want to make a note that I am completely and utterly grateful that it has been possible for me to travel this week and to do this for myself.
It has been 1 year and almost 4 months since my husband died, tragically and suddenly. A…Continue
Added by Alive & Mortal on January 13, 2011 at 6:30pm — No Comments
Friends, I posted this on my blog, Fresh Widow, in January of 2009. I think you might appreciate it so I'm reposting.
* * *
One night in my support group, S. said casually that he’d “left work early… I just pulled a widower card.” I thought about how often I’d done this in the months since LH died, but more about how I could make good use of some little advantage. All the handicaps I was living with… single…Continue
Added by Soaring Spirits on July 5, 2010 at 2:00pm — No Comments
Here's another old blog of mine. It was when I was contemplating dating again and all the trouble I was having dealing with people.
Hard to breathe. Burning in my throat and chest. Queasy stomach. Throbbing headache. The depression is back. My shattered heart strains to keep together with every beat. There are tears screaming and burning behind my eyelids, aching to be released. Why am I here again? Oh, that’s right, I thought I saw a light at the end of the tunnel. …Continue
Added by Shannon on May 27, 2009 at 10:00am — No Comments