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Widowed Village connects peers with each other for friendship and sharing. The moderators, administrators, and others involved in running this site are not professionals.

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All Blog Posts (4,402)

Taking stock

Sometimes I am just plain lonely. I might do something in the morning, come home and do a few simple tasks, cook a meal and wham! there it is, the loneliness,it comes rolling in like a wave. It affects me more on Friday nights and Sunday nights, those were the debriefing times when Ray and I had good health. Friday nights we would discuss what we had done through the week and Sunday nights we would talk about what happened over the weekend. I was thinking about that tonight,  without  a…

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Added by only1sue on February 3, 2019 at 3:30am — 1 Comment

Life Changes

I had a random thought this morning - I'm not who I was 6 1/2 months ago.  My husband's death has turned me into a different person, one that I don't know and don't want to be.  His passing set off a chain of events that was impossible to anticipate.  I read a quote on the internet a few minutes ago that stated "Death changes nothing".  No, death changes everything.  It has forced me into thinking differently, feeling differently, living a different life,…

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Added by Pegasus on January 28, 2019 at 9:03am — 7 Comments

Tense

So I mentioned this before, I am starting to navigate my way through online dating.  I find it amusing in a way at how behind I am even though I spend so much of my time building and recommending technology.  But I guess much of this really comes down to the dating side of things.  Sending messages to new people and even having a couple coffee dates with them.  For the most part I try to avoid chatting too much about my wife, I figure it isn't fair to the person I may want to get involved…

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Added by MidnightBear (Tony) on January 26, 2019 at 6:46pm — 4 Comments

Finding a way forward

It's close to the end of the summer vacation, some time in the next week all my grandchildren go back to school apart from Chris who will start University at the end of February. All my normal  summer activities start the following week, the more formal church services, pastoral visiting, the Friday Coffee morning. It is decision time for me as I decide whether to continue the activities or change some of them. There is always pressure to continue but in the end it is my choice. It is a…

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Added by only1sue on January 23, 2019 at 8:06pm — 1 Comment

How Do You Deal with Grief?

Since my husband died suddenly, I have good days and bad days. The tears hit me out of the blue.  I could be at work or on my way home or sitting on the couch and then I start crying.  I will hear a song on the radio that reminds me of him. I miss our life together.  I miss my husband and best friend.  How do you deal with grief?  It is hard for people to understand what I am going through right now. No one knows what to say to me. Being a widow is tough.  I have a good support network.

Added by GrievingandLost37 on January 20, 2019 at 11:15am — 3 Comments

How Do You Deal with Grief?

Since my husband died suddenly, I have good days and bad days. The tears hit me out of the blue.  I could be at work or on my way home or sitting on the couch and then I start crying.  I will hear a song on the radio that reminds me of him. I miss our life together.  I miss my husband and best friend.  How do you deal with grief?  It is hard for people to understand what I am going through right now. No one knows what to say to me. Being a widow is tough.  I have a good support network.

Added by GrievingandLost37 on January 20, 2019 at 11:15am — No Comments

Facade

My wife and I used to giggle at women who were wearing too much makeup.  My wife almost never wore makeup at all, the only time she did was because her mother insisted on it for certain things.  Weddings were the most common requirement that makeup would be lathered on her, and she couldn't get out of that gear fast enough to return to her 'normal' self.  In her opinion, makeup changed who she was, and she wasn't going to have any of it.  It was the facade that people put on day to day to…

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Added by MidnightBear (Tony) on January 16, 2019 at 6:01am — 3 Comments

I'LL NEVER LOVE AGAIN

APRIL 29,2018 MY LIFE WAS CHANGED FOREVER. WE WERE TOGETHER FOR 50 YEARS, OVER 47 YEARS AS MAN AND WIFE. OVER THE YEARS WE HAD MANY SONGS THAT REFLECTED THE LOVE WE SHARED. THIS MORNING I HEARD THE SONG LADY GAGA SINGS IN A STAR IS BORN AND IT SUMMARIZES MY FEELINGS SO PERFECTLY. I HAD WHAT MANY HOPE FOR IF ONLY FOR A MOMENT. WE HAD SOMETHING THAT WAS SO SPECIAL AND JUST FOR US. SO AS I LISTEN MY TEARS ARE MINGLED WITH MY SMILE BECAUSE I KNOW THAT ONE DAY WE WILL BE REUNITED. UNTIL…

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Added by DIVA70 on January 12, 2019 at 8:51am — 4 Comments

The Silent Beast

As I have today hit the 14 month mark, I reflect on a trend I notice happening.  I notice, time and again, that even though I typically have no clue what day of the month it is, that when the 11th rolls up, I am sent into an odd stupor.  A silent ever present beast takes over my will and my abilities.  I typically only get about 3 hours of sleep the night before, and often I am in bed trying to figure out why the heck it is that I can not get to sleep.  When I finally look at the calendar…

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Added by MidnightBear (Tony) on January 11, 2019 at 11:49am — 2 Comments

How Do You Cope with the Death of a Spouse?

My dear husband recently died quite suddenly and I am devastated.  I feel like I am in a nightmare that never ends. How do you cope with the sudden death of a spouse?

Added by GrievingandLost37 on January 6, 2019 at 7:04am — 4 Comments

Another year to walk alone

Happy New Year everyone..... We have all heard that in the past few days and some of us have smiled and nodded and some of us have turned away. It is not a happy prospect for a lot of people, those recently bereaved, those on their own. I am lucky because I have my younger son and smallest granddaughter here for ten days so plenty to do and company for a while. So I can say : "Happy New Year" and smile. But when they go home  I will probably feel much the same as before but at least will…

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Added by only1sue on January 4, 2019 at 2:30am — 6 Comments

Some collection of quotes that I found.

Not sure if it will help anyone but here are some quotes that I randomly came across while I grieve by searching the internet.

  • "The pain of grief is just as much part of life as the joy of love: it is perhaps the price we pay for love, the cost of commitment. To ignore this fact, or to pretend that it is not so, is to put on emotional blinkers which leave us unprepared for the losses that will inevitably occur in our own lives and unprepared to help others cope with losses in…
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Added by loveboo on January 2, 2019 at 2:12pm — No Comments

How?

hi, this is my first post, my beautiful wife Tamara died October 28th, she just turned 57. We were married for 30 years and now she’s gone. I thought I was prepared because stage 4mbc is not curable. She battled so hard, we both battled so hard, but nothing can prepare you for this....the one person that I could talk to about everything, including this, I can’t talk to (I talk to her still) it’s just a one sided conversation now. I titled this post “how”.  How do I navigate? Just when I…

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Added by Tamsknight on January 2, 2019 at 11:56am — 2 Comments

The Burden of Christmas

Today is the first day of a new year and I couldn’t be happier about it. You see December, instead of being the happiest time of the year for me, is the saddest. It’s a sharp reminder of my love that’s missing; of truly beautiful Christmases past that will never be again, or even come close. …

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Added by Starfish5 on January 1, 2019 at 5:23pm — 2 Comments

On the eve of our 40th anniversary

December 31st, 1978:

I had met this terrifically wonderful guy named Mike, several months prior, so cute, so funny, awkward sweet, he had asked me out on the first time we met.  

Now, at a New Year’s Eve party at a nightclub, we danced and drank and had a wonderful time.  The clock strikes 12, it’s now January 1st 1979, and as the ole lang syne played, streamers and balloons dropped from the ceiling, “Happy New Year”!  Mike got down on one knee on the dance floor where we…

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Added by Steve on December 31, 2018 at 9:52pm — 2 Comments

Every minute...

Every minute I want to shout at the top of my lungs:

I LOVE YOU, BOO!

Just in case you can hear me.

Added by loveboo on December 30, 2018 at 2:44pm — 1 Comment

New Year’s Eve party

one of the meetup groups is hosting a party.  The venue is nice but it is not as spacious as the host is trying to make it out to be.  $15.00 a head. She provides the DJ, food, paper/plastic products and party favors.  204 woman and 71 men attending. That’s $4,125.00 she will barley break even on this thing.  She is trying to tell me it’s not going to be standing room only. She’s trying to tell me the music will not be so loud you can’t hear anyone.  She is trying to tell me standing around…

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Added by Daisy on December 28, 2018 at 9:51pm — 2 Comments

Friendship vs Intimacy which

I recently joined two meet up groups near me.  I struggle with the amount of time to devote to this.  My time is valuable and once spent I cannot get it back.  So, I have to really work on being people’s friends.  It reminds me of my children’s sports teams.  If you show up and interact with people there you have a chance of befriending at least one person who you might get together with outside of the sports and separate from your children.  However a majority of the adults there could care…

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Added by Daisy on December 24, 2018 at 12:13pm — 3 Comments

When will it get better?

12 Christmases without my hubby.  My heart is breaking because I don’t have anyone yet to share the load with. I feel like I have lost everything.  My husband, my house, my children, my job. I am not homeless because of friends I live with and I feel like shit because I can’t afford to pay them what the place is worth.  Why am I even alive?

Added by Daisy on December 21, 2018 at 6:36pm — 1 Comment

Six days till Christmas

I had a phone call yesterday from a woman who joined a Dementia group I belonged to in 2006. We have been in contact on a regular basis since then. She was widowed about 18 months ago so we have that in common too. She was worried about how empty her life feels in this time when "family togetherness" seems to be the theme of all the advertisements, TV programs etc. When are we going to stop this kind of thinking which is so isolating for the childless, the homeless, the widows and widowers…

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Added by only1sue on December 19, 2018 at 2:19am — 3 Comments

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