I was better prepared for life after Ron's death than many widows. He died about a year ago at age 78, but his health had been deteriorating and his stamina had been decreasing for a couple of years before that. I was also 15 years younger. I'd always managed the finances (he joked that since he was an English major and my degree was in Math that was a no-brainer) and had gradually taken over lawn and yard maintenance, keeping the car maintained, housekeeping, etc. because he just…Continue
For 2 1/2 years I got calls for Arlene on my cell asking for her so they could try to sell her diabetic testing supplies. And until six months ago, I would scream and curse at them (ok, it was fun and thereaputic, but clearly ineffective). So tonight at work, I got another one of those calls, at work and gave what is now my standard response:
Them: Hello, may I speak to Arlene?
Me: She's not here, but I can give you the number where she may be reached.
I was told on Friday I may be able to drive at the end of next week, I am so looking forward to that, it is over a month now since I had the operation on my leg and graft and I have spent most of that time with my leg elevated. Luckily I always have many meals frozen in advance in my freezer and friends have been kind and brought me fruit ( I can't eat chocolates...lol) so I haven't starved. The major frustration for me is that Spring is here and I can't get out into the garden to do all…Continue
As surreal as it seems…tomorrow is the 4th anniversary of my husband’s death. Unbelievable.
I don’t visit Widville as much as I used to…I have literally buried myself in work over the last few years, but I log in every now and then to see how everyone is doing. I have to…this site helped me more than I can tell you, and now, I have the honor of offering my help as well…for whatever it may be worth.
Also, it is my way of honoring the wonderful man…
I can’t believe it has been a year since I last saw his face, held him, and hugged him in that way that always made me feel so loved. When I buried my face in his neck, almost every day, I knew that he loved me and I loved him. We had a special relationship, and it is still hard to imagine that it is gone.Continue
Most of the situations I find myself in since my husband past are sad. Some are empowering and some just make me laugh at the ridiculousness of them. I sometimes think of what a person look in on us or maybe walking in to the room would think. Mostly I think of what our guardian angel thinks and how often he laughs at his family's many adventures.
Recently a friend gifted us a book about grief. There are a number of children's books about grief. There is one that I feel is…Continue
It was February 8, 2017, three and a half years after I lost Rick.
I finally removed the wedding ring from my finger.
I never thought seriously about taking it off until then. It was as much a part of me as the hand that wore it.
My hand was alternating between aching and going numb, and my finger was swelled above the ring. Also, upon closer inspection, I finally realized that the knuckle of that finger was wider than the ring sitting beneath…Continue
I was on the road for two months. I started July 10th, 2017 leaving the beautiful Colorado Rocky Mountains and headed North to Swan Valley, ID. This trip took me thru Wyoming into Idaho where I stayed with my friends on their 9 acre property where the Snake River runs through.
I truly loved Swan Valley and I have to say my two black labs loved the area more than I. From the moment we pulled up and I opened the door to let my four legged kids out after a long days drive they ran…Continue
Life sometimes changes fast as all we widows and widowers know. I have just spent a week in hospital six out of seven days on bed rest. I had a spot that looked like a mole on my leg, behind my left knee. Over the past couple of months it grew so I went to my doctor who then referred me to a Skin Cancer Clinic where it was removed under local anesthetic. A week later I was in surgery in a major hospital having a further surgery this time an extra area to take a "good margin off" to ensure…Continue
November 22nd will be the 1 year anniversary of my wife’s death.
I don't know how I will feel that day, but I know I don't want to spend it alone.…Continue
A tender movie I have found dealing with the loss of a spouse from a man's point of view is "Everything Went Down". This is an independent movie by Dustin Morrow and is about a college professor who lost his wife two years earlier. During this time, he feels numbing grief due to his loss and is the shell of a person. He meets a young songwriter who has lost her creative side for music. The two develop a friendship over the next few weeks and this helps him to overcome his loss while she…Continue
Added by Mark62 on September 5, 2017 at 5:16am — No Comments
On Netflix, there is a tender, heart touching movie, "Another Forever", that is about a grieving woman who is overtaken by the loss of her beloved husband. After her loss, she takes a spontaneous trip to visit a close friend to get her life back on track. The scenery is beautiful, taking place in several countries. Daniela Escobar stars as Alice who loses her husband suddenly and then deals with moving her life forward again, while remembering the moments they shared. The independent movie,…Continue
Juggling a full time job and part time job, cleaning the house, doing the laundry, doing the grocery shopping, making all of the meals, making sure the car is properly maintained, taking care of three “high maintenance/special needs” pets, doing all of the yard work (including snow removal each winter), paying the bills, worrying about finances, raising a teenage son and making sure all of his needs are being met as well as taking care of myself, is really, really unbelievably hard. Being…Continue
My mother spent a lot of time growing up with an aunt, her mother's older sister. The aunt spoke often in what we would call cliches or truisms and Mum used a lot of them herself. Some I agreed with like : "A stitch in time saves nine" how often did I wish I had mended the falling hem earlier, and "A watched pot never boils" so I had to learn to do something else while I waited for something to cook. One I have trouble with today is: "What the eye don't see, the heart don't grieve."…Continue
Added by only1sue on August 21, 2017 at 6:43pm — No Comments
my grief is a child
wild and unpredictable
stormy and sweet
whiny with dirty fingernails
and sticky fingers.
I need time away
and yet, I also can not stay
because it needs me
and I am in love.
It is my child-
our child that we made
It is what is left of us
It is full of us
always just around the
playful and demanding
with wet kisses.